overweight 3 year old

When you see him, can you do something healthy with him eg walk the dog, take him swimming etc?

My granddaughter was overweight when she was 3 and got 'the letter' when she was assessed at school in her reception class but she's 6 now, much taller, takes dance and swimming classes and is very active in her play and has lost her chubby look. When you are with the family why not suggest a physical activity - like a long walk in the woods, only provide healthy meals/snacks when the family visit you and only buy suitable presents for birthdays like bikes, skipping ropes or roller skates. I have a good relationship with my daughter so we can talk about these sort of things but, if you don't, then I wouldn't say anything but just lead by example.

My GD was a bit chubby at 3 but seems to have slimmed considerable now she's 4. About the snacks, could you approach it from the healthy teeth angle, there is a lot of evidence to show eating between meals accelerates tooth decay and many snacks are bad for teeth. For more info click here www.toothfairyblog.org/healthy_snacks_childrens_teeth/

Somehow concern about teeth is much less controversial than mentioning weight.

Sound advice here. I would not say anything yet. I presume the child has regular health checks. If he were overweight for his age, a doctor would have indicated this already to his parents. Your contribution should be limited to providing healthy food, healthy snacks and lots of exercise when you are together.

My DGD was I'm the upper percentile of weight in her first school check but six months later she is taller and all "chubbiness" has gone. Say nothing, unless asked and even then say little, and try not to worry.

Do you ever have meals with your GS parents ? this will give you an idea of what may go on when it comes to food.Rather than upsetting the apple cart I would suggest ,and without his parents, have your GS for a day or even a weekend. Introduce him to what you believe is healthy eating for children , preparing food with his help and make it a game. Only you know your GS and making food look interesting is the name of the game in getting kids to eat what is best for them. Other than that, you are not his mother, and as concerned as you will be I do not believe there is much else you can do.

Just a p.s to ajanela dried fruit is full of sugar, no longer regarded as a healthy snack.

I love cheese I was just about to say exactly that dried fruit is calorific the process of drying it makes the sugar content higher and much much better to give fresh fruit

I agree about a lot of things that are being said. I think you should leave things alone. What you could do when they come to visit is to have some healthy snacks in the kitchen and if he shows an interest then he can try them.
When he gets to nursery and onto school he could lose the weight anyway.
Having worked in a school I know that some parents had been spoken to about their child's weight and givien advice.

Totally agree with everything here but what has the world come to when we dare not give advice re healthy weight! !

And dried fruit does stick to the teeth and rots them more quickly than sweeties do (according to dentist).

It's fine if his teeth get cleaned by an adult after eating the dried fruit, which is full of good minerals.

Yes don't give dried fruit as snacks as it is very high in sugar - also over 20 years ago the dentist warned me about "raisin tooth" syndrome where well meaning people give little packs of raisins thinking they are "healthy" but they stick and cause major tooth decay

I have been on the other end of this, and all I say is: DON'T. You are a grandparent not a parent, you had your turn, and unless your opinion/advice is sought, then it really isn't your business to involve yourself, as much for your own benefit as anyone else's.

NEVER give advice unless you are asked for it! You don't have to provide unhealthy snacks and you can encourage him to take exercise, but otherwise, LEAVE WELL ALONE!

I was overweight throughout most of my stressful childhood and with hindsight I feel I was comfort-eating. Do what you can to ensure your grandson is happy, confident and carefree and encourage fruit-eating. Then when he starts school his weight should take care of itself.

It's true that overweight children and adolescents often grow up to be unhealthy, obese adults with high blood pressure and bad hearts. It's also true that childhood obesity and adults with type 2 diabetes seem to go hand in hand. Yet, many others grow up to be normal sized, healthy adults, so no need to hit the panic button, yet.

Talking to the parents will likely cause them additional grief and anxiety without changing the outcome. They are probably struggling with this more than you may realize. If the child is seeing his pediatrician regularly and your son and DIL are not being outright reckless, it's more likely that an intervention on your part would adversely affect your relationship and not affect much else.

Sorry about the dried fruits. Thought it was better than sweets chocolate and biscuits, also good for "pooh"

You can start by not saying anything at all. When you know they are coming over for a visit, keep only healthy snacks at hand. Be smart. Many healthy goods come in really eye catching wrappers today. Use that!!

Be careful - my MIL used to refer to my DD as "fat" in her hearing (whilst also offering her chocolate biscuits etc). She never seemed to take it in at the time but in fact she did and, as she got older, it has just added to her poor self esteem. This ultimately led to an eating disorder which was, at one point, close to being fatal. I am not blaming MIL for that but it was just one more thing. Your GC is only 3 and hopefully will slim down as he gets older.

One of my DS was overweight until he was 15 ish and then he lost the excess and has become a slim adult. He always liked his food! I didn't ever say anything to him.

I used to think dried fruit was healthy too, one Halloween, I tried offering those little packets or satsumas to the children who came to the door. You can imagine how well that went!

As an adult fighting a losing battle with weight most of my adult life, the most recent helpful reminder which has really struck home with me is the proportion of carbs, protein and fruit/veg on each plateful of food I eat during the day. I think it's a most useful message to give to children from a very early age, and I see my own DIL reinforcing it with my DGS at barely one - maybe make a game of it with your grandchild - draw circles and divide them with one quarter protein (meat/fish/eggs), one quarter carbs (potatoes/rice/pasta) and ONE HALF veg. Anyone eating consistently like this will control weight!

Do nothing !! If there is a problem it will be addressed as soon as he starts school. Our daughter was wand slim, our son was a 'chunky', both had the same diet when growing up. When our son was 4 he contracted measles and was very poorly, hence the weight slipped away. After that I had to make his school trousers because he was tall for his age but very skinny! Since then his physique has not changed; when he was going through puberty he could eat for England (and did!).
He's now 41, very active and still the same shape.
Don't be over anxious at this stage, it will be picked up, and you'll be able to be supportive and offer suggestions to help the family.

ajanela I think dried fruit is better than sweets etc, it was just a warning about giving teeth a good scrub afterwards as they can stick especially to the back teeth!

to be honest I dont think all the "healthy eating" talk at school is good,my 7 year old GD is obsessed with food being "healthy" and that in itself isn't.She wants to know exactly whats in her yoghourts and counts strawberries so she doen't have too many etc.Its going to lead to a generation where they all have eating disorders .She was agood eater bfore the school started this ,ate most things now she wont eat ham because its"processed" and wants her chicken poached or steamed ! That to me is not healthy ,she's growing she needs to eat a good balanced diet,we've all heard of kids from families where they get all wholemeal stuff, muesli ,limited carbs ,restriction on eggs etc and there are kids from those familes who have malnutrition.My neice is vegan and we were all concerned at how she fed her child,the teacher called her in and asked what the wee one was eating as she looked "transparent" turned out she was very anemic ,so care is needed