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Grandparenting

Not being allowed to be a grandparent

(78 Posts)
Isabelle Tue 06-Jun-17 11:21:46

I only see my 5 year old grandson at the weekend. They do come and visit and occasionally invite me to go out with them, say to the coast or somewhere similar where my DGS would like. When we are out, he always comes to hold my hand. But this annoys my DD and she gets cross with me for being controlling. I am actually quite the opposite and would never try to control her or DGS. The problem is, he daren’t come to me now and looks at his mum in case she is watching. I feel as though I can’t be a grandparent to him because she doesn’t want me to do anything with him. She won’t even let me buy him anything. I am single so my life revolves around my family, but this is breaking my heart because I love him so much. Does anyone else have the same problems with their DD’s or have any ideas why she would be like this?

lizzy67 Thu 20-Jul-17 06:29:23

Hi Starlady,
Thank you so much for your comments. I had got along famously with DIL whenever we visited uk previously. At least I thought so. Maybe it was just something she could keep up for a very short time. and for my son's sake I need to stay in my own home. which is what I am doing. Christmas is hard, though. My other son came to stay, also from overseas. Twice he was invited for a meal and to stay overnight at DIL's house. Hubby and I weren't even invited for a cup of tea. Now, I certainly have no problem with them all getting together. But it would have been nice to have been included, even if just once, even if just for a cuppa for an hour. We rarely see this other son. DIL does not need to go out to work as son has a well paid job. What she doesn't seem to take into account is that my hubby and I worked our fingers to the bone bringing up our kids and doing the absolute best we could for them, as do most folk, I guess. But if we hadn't, then she would not be living the very comfortable life-style she now has. I certainly don't mean to imply that she owes us for this. She doesn't. But she does owe us respect and it seems she is unable to do that.

Norah Thu 20-Jul-17 08:49:03

lizzy67 It is best, to my sense, to think about what your son is doing to help the situation. Well done. You say your dil has a very comfortable lifestyle, aren't you a little judgemental? To the person actually accomplishing all the GC care and feeding tasks?