my grandaughter

I do think it's quite common for youngsters to steal, especially from trusting family members who leave money around. My grandson has, over the last few years, stolen from us and his Dad all because of drugs. We now know not to leave money around as the temptation might be too great. He has now been off heroine for about nine months and is gradually getting his life back together, but we are not complacent! We have never stopped him coming to us, in fact he has often lived with us when trying to get clean. I know longer feel disappointed in his actions, just sad but drug addition overcomes a sense of what is right or wrong.

no!

Legray22 that does seem a rather extreme response to an apparent first offence to a member of the family aged 21, and with little other background information!

What a nice bunch of people you are - too nice in my opinion

Stealing from a older family member constitutes Adult Financial Abuse.

I would tell her that something has been stolen from the house and you are calling the police. And do it. Stealing is wrong, no matter who does it and they will think twice about doing it if you deal with it properly the first time.

There is no excuse for stealing from family - disgusting behaviour

My son used to take amounts of money from me in his teens. It was part of some very unacceptable adolescent behaviour from him which worried his father and I greatly.

One day the cleaner's money (in a sealed envelaope with her name on it) disappeared and I accused him of taking it. To my great embarrassment he denied taking it and I found I had thrown it into the recycling myself. He seemed to stop taking cash after this horrible incident.

I think that taking money is not uncommon. It isn't good but it isn't the worst thing to happen if it can be dealt with.

I would advise mentioning the issue. Don't bury it and say nothing or the child might do it again. The theft might be related to some bigger issue like drugs or depression and this needs to be uncovered. If it is theft for 'stuff' and extra pocket money this needs to be addressed too as a known thief is unemployable and your GC needs to know this.

franjess2000. There may not have been a theft so your suggestions are somewhat harsh. My Mother was convinced the cleaner had stolen her pearls, until she found them in a cardigan pocket. Once an accusation has been made it cannot be retracted, and I for one would never think the same about a family member after such things have been said. Some on here have good reason not to trust as they have experienced the terrible things that drug addiction can lead sufferers to, but I don't think we should automatically think the worst. Yes, stealing is awful, but facts need to be established first.

Perhaps eileen66 could return and give us a bit more information?

Some of us are running a LONG way with this from very limited information! What was stolen?

'Adult Financial Abuse'. Good God! What's with this mania for putting labels on things? Like parents who aren't so much concerned about sorting out their kids' bad behaviour as long as they get a 'diagnosis'.

Just what I was thinking Exaltedwombat the OP has not offered a clue as to what was actually stolen which could be anything from a cake to millions of pounds worth of jewellery .

Sad but another sign of our changing times? It does need to be tackled otherwise you will never feel relaxed in her company again.

my granddaughter stole from me , yes i am 100% it was her , I did not misplace it; There wa only me and her in the house , she is not on drugs , resides with her boyfriend and his family , she also has threatened me , My son who went to the US, is not her father. , i am 66 and i trusted her , I did not misplace it , thank you all for your messages
Eileen

I ll reserve judgement until OP comes back with more information her original post was very sketchy we don't know what was taken or even if it definitely was taken Could she has misplaced something or had less money in her purse than she thought she had Did she see her steal? has there been anyone else visit?Is she close to this grandaughter or did she just pop in on a one off ? is it her father who just gone to US Lots of questions let's see if we get some more meat on the bone before jumping to the gallows

I thought eileen66 said it was £10 ? ....first ask directly the question 'did you take/steal/borrow £10 from my purse ? She will probably deny it. SO ...as a test next time she visits you leave your purse in sight ....no money in it (or maybe some loose change so it feels normal) put a note in it ....sorry, no money this time ...no money kept in the house any longer, as someone is stealing it ......see what happens ! This could lead to other things, so please be careful. If she is prone to anger or violence lock the doors and do not let her in ...you can never be too careful ! may sound extreme, but may be what is needed. Good luck

A lady I know told me that when she was a child she stole 50p from her grandmother, unaware that her GM saw her doing it. Her GM took the 50p then said " My dear, you must be in dire need if you are stealing from me ". She pressed the coin into her hand and folded her fingers tightly over it, and never said anything about it again. This lady still has the coin and has never taken anything that isn't hers ever again--she felt so ashamed of herself.

The OP (*Eileen*)has replied.

(Violette the OP gave her GD £10 before she knew the girl had stlen anything).

The OP has given an update and is clearly very upset.
Eileen66 you say your GD has threatened you and this makes this all very much more serious.I feel you must share this with some one else and get support and perhaps advice. I hope you get this sorted my thoughts are with please keep yourself safe.

First time I shoplifted my Mum took me straight to the police station.

...that was when a policeman could give wayward children a good talking to (and it worked!).

eileen68. I think the solution is not to let her come to the house again. Meet her in public places like a cafe and if she asks why, tell her.

So sorry your trust has been violated like this. I would have to ask her why, she might need help.

if she's threatened you I'd stop having anything to do with her altogether and tell the police. That's completely different.

Ask her...if she denies it accept it... but hide your purse next time she comes...and if poss lock your bedroom door. You could have made a mistake....on the other hand stealing from your gran is dispicable and i'm sorry to say may mean it's for drugs.

Have just read your update...have nothing more to do with her.

So sorry for this,interested in how she threatened you and why.
We have(had) a friend who always stole from us at any chance-but was so plausible that no-one could believe it.She stole from so many people and we later found it out.Still find it hard to believe
We have found money several times -once when really broke found £40 just outside small supermarket,no-one there but went back in to see an elderly man frantically searching his pockets he looked so amazed when I gave it back to him.I can not understand your granddaughter and only hope things improve for you as you must feel so hurt.
Unfortunately there are always dishonest people -but many good ones too.

What did she steal Eileen ? did you see her?
And what has she threatened you with and on what sort of occasion Is it when you ve said no to her There's still not much to go on ....Is it something valuable or a lot of money if so go to the police if it's the act itself but not the value can you talk to her is she approachable? Does she visit often? has anything like this happened before ? Has she a man ther of father you can talk to? But be VERY VERY careful you have got you're facts correct as there would be no turning back if you accuse her and there's any doubt at all