Bit cross about this

Why not say 'Happy to help out. I'd like to make a contribution' and send a donation of £x that you would be able to afford each year. Then hopefully you will be happy and your family will know not to expect you to pay and ever increasing sum as your grand child gets older.

Surely you cannot buy shoes without the child there!

Goodness Gillybob! I am so glad we could buy from M&S or BHS in our day! Probably Tesco and Sainsburys nowadays then New Look for high school. We did have to buy ties and sweatshirts but they were not too expensive.

I must admit I would not like the expectation and would probably say 'oh, did I say I would do that?'. It's just cheeky.

I am sure you help out where you can Lynda but a chat would have been nice. There seems to be a bit of a trend to children thinking they are still being parented in the same way as when they were young.

I know my children would help me and I would help them as they would help one another, their Dad and my mother and help would come from their too. But what the help would be is not a given in any way, shape or form.

Ah different values ... buy the shoes 'AND treat her to something special.' If you do end up buying the light up shoes - which are 'special' in their own right, I don't think she needs another treat on top ... How do we convey 'value' and realistic affordability to our children / grandchildren if we keep bowing to materialism? I know too many children who have been brought up with 'brands' and then can't cope in adult life when they cannot afford to maintain this lifestyle for themselves. As a teacher I notice that MOST children wear 'sensible' and 'ordinary' black shoes in class - the child won't be missing out to go without the flashing lights - even though they may not be a 'big deal', the price tag is - parents don't want to have to afford it and are apparently trying to pass on the cost ....why bother?

What kindof school allows light up shoes? I would think their peer group would see them as young at age 11. I would look up the school website tp check the uniform policy. Contributions made the first year of secondary school was a thing but not after when things need replacing as and when they wear out. Handouts used to be seen as something not to mention out loud, but these days it's more expected.

I agree with what Olene said: was it absolutely clear in the email that it was being assumed that you would pay? The short extract that you shared with us could simply have been a sharing of information, and nothing more. Or an optimistic hint, maybe?

Is that children's size 11 or the adult size 11?

Reminds me of a song:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qC03Y7Ombo

Sorry if this is a serious thread

I am enjoying the song anyway even if none of the rest of you like it

It's a parental duty to make children wear sensible shoes to school - so they can complain in later life

I stopped wearing those awful lace-ups when I was about 14 and am now back in them!! Needs must.

Naught to assume email is work of DiL

In our family the DDs buy the school shoes and out of school shoes, simply because they can easily take the children to the shop for fitting. However we always buy other items, trousers, shirts, pinafores etc. having checked their sizes with the DDs.

Several years ago our County Education Authority, standardised uniform through out the County Schools (Primary & Secondary) to Black Blazers, black shoes, white shirts/blouses and black or grey skirts/trousers. Each school then has its own tie, badge and individual colours for Polo shirts. This makes buying and reusing uniform easier on parents if the pupils change schools and permits handing down uniforms to siblings, cousins and friends even if they are at different local schools. It is a totally brilliant idea - good recycling, saves parents money, means that standard items can be bought in M & S or any supermarket, even Aldi or Lidl. No specialist uniform shops with inflated prices, badges, ties etc. are ordered via the school at bulk prices.

It also allows one of our Food Banks, with help from our local MSP, former MP and WFI Group to operate a School Clothing Exchange, where parents can swap out-grown, good condition School Clothes for larger sizes. Stock is boosted by donations of brand new items by well wishers, supermarket collections and unclaimed items left behind in each school. The standardised uniform means that clothes from any school will be suitable for any other school.

My grandparents bought we three Clarks shoes, whitsunday and Easter outfits and winter coats. These were expensive items, we had doting grandparents who were still working during our primary school years.
It's become a family ky tradition. I have bought good quality shoes for four grandchildren, along with other items of clothing. I love doing so, I'm fortunate to be able to do it.

Granny23, your local education authority is brilliant. It's an idea that should be copied widely, but in England we have such a proliferation of types of school, many of which are independent of the LEA - academies,'free' schols and so on - enforcing their individual uniforms, sometimes at considerable expense to the parents. 32 years ago, when we moved to Greater Manchester, we had to buy completely new uniform for our DSs as it had to be bought from specific retailers, unlike the uniform they wore in Norfolk. If anything, things have now become more complicated.

What granny23 says applies here too. Supermarket skirts/pinafores/trousers are acceptable in any primary school with individual tie and sweatshirt.
In Scotland LA schools cannot demand conformity to a set standard so some flexibility is fine.
On these 'lightup' shoes. They are normal Clark's sensible school shoes with tiny lights in the heels. Nothing ott or flashy or outrageous. If a primary school gets hung up on these then their priorities are seriously adrift!

My DD2 tells me that she kitted out DGS2 for primary school yesterday at Asda (she did her homework to find the best quality/value ratio). The list was long, but included four pairs of trousers, two pairs of shorts, pumps,four polo shirts... £37 the lot. Just shoes and a couple of school sweatshirts to go. Back in the day when M & S was really the only choice, I remember being annoyed when I had to pay for adult size school trousers for DS, and they were £20. Which was a big deal in the 90s.

I have always contributed to gs school uniform even when I have been struggling financially whether it be towards shoes..or some nice white crisp shirts I mean shirts are only around £5 for two in our local supermarkets, I just buy stuff throughout the year for him, tops up really. Although he is moving on to high school so will need few more things this time.I must say when I went to his last assembly on Friday his white shirt did stand out..it is something I have instilled in dd to make sure he always has nice white shirt to wear.

My DGDS was kitted out in a new school uniform for when she started school in September 2016. The 2 shirts, 2 pinafore dresses, 4 blouses, 5 pairs of socks and tights are still in good condition and able to be worn this September, provided they still fit. The whole lot was £17.50 from Aldi and they're back in stock again now. 2 polo shirts are £1.25 the pair. Surely most GPs could afford to contribute a little something like this, couldn't they?

I wouldn't rush to buy them. Ds didn't ask for that in the email. It sounds like that, but what if we;re wrong? Maybe ds is just updating you on gd's live.

You could make a non-commital remark like the ones mentioned here. Or you could offer to pay towards it whatever you feel comfortable giving. Then, let's see how ds and gf react.

Good luck, all!

That's supposed to say, "Good luck!" Don't know how "all" got in there!