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How do i deal with a troubled son

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britgran Thu 20-Jul-17 18:32:37

How is it we can have two children bought up in exactly the same way, disciplined the same and loved the same, yet one grows up and causes no issues and the other causes so much heartache. My youngest son left his first wife , DD and two SC, it caused a stack of problems with myself and my DH and much distress to us all.....our son remarried and has two beautiful little girls , I resented his new wife ( the reason he left his first wife ) but we have put that behind us and now get on......My son suffers from Bulimia which has caused all sorts of mental health issues , we have tried to help him and he's very open about it but insists he is in control, our DiL has told me today he wants them to break up..... tbh I'm sick to death of him and his problems and I swear if he leaves her and those two babies I will disown him, I'm so upset and angry, how do you help someone who won't admit he needs help

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paddyann Sat 22-Jul-17 15:25:36

he's a troubled soul and all you can do is be there when he needs you.Mental illness is unpredictable ,he may have no idea what he's doing or the consequences as he just lashes out at the nearest person.He needs professional help ,speak to your GP and see if they can offer a solution ,his GP might be willing just to drop in at home and see him so he can assess the problem.

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Fairydoll2030 Sat 22-Jul-17 19:04:31

My heart goes out to Britgran and Nannynoo.

When children raised in good circumstances end up as troubled adults we have to wonder whether an abherant gene is responsible - part of the ' 80% Nature etc...'

Studies of certain types of mental illness have revealed genetic 'abnormalities.'

It's no consolation for the parents but at least it is a possible expiation for their children's' behaviour.

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HopefulTraveller Mon 24-Jul-17 10:39:05

Parents and grandparents living within situations outside our control is painful and sometimes feels frustrating and hopeless. If we are willing, there are 12 Step fellowships which help support and guide us how to live calmly while negotiating these stormy waters. In meetings people who have similar experiences meet and honestly share these experiences and coping strategies.

Overeaters Anonymous for people with eating disorders and Families Anonymous and Al Anon for parents and grandparents of other addictions. I have found these fellowships life savers.

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