Lost again

Oh Nonnie, I don't know what to say (((hug))).

Nothing you or anyone else can say Smile we have to live with it.

You’re right Nonnie, words are inadequate, so I will just send you loving thoughts.

I worry endlessly about my own son, suffering because of the vicious actions of his child’s mother. I’m finding this world very difficult to understand.....Rosy.x.

OMG! Nonnie I'm so very sorry My dad died of a broken heart and I almost did, but I'm still here to tell the tale.

Nonnie I think your d.i.l is heartless.

OMG, Nonnie, I'm so deeply sorry!

Your ds' death must make it all the more meaningful for you to see the kids. Sorry dil makes it difficult. Hang in there!

Gabrielle8 I do understand what you are going through, isn't it horrible? I can't offer you any advice because nothing we did worked, We apologised for things we hadn't done, we grovelled and nothing worked. According to DiL I am the most evil person in the world, a fiction not recognsed by my two other DiLs who love and trust me.

Please do all you can to support your son, he is more vulnerable than you might think. On the occasion when DS had to call the police the policeman I spoke to wanted to arrest DiL I said no because of the children. We had quite a chat and he said his brother went through the same and eventually committed suicide. I am not saying this to worry you, just to make you aware so you can give him all the support he needs. It is so hard for men to keep trying to see their children when up against such women. When men give up because they cannot cope with the stress they are then accused of neglect.

Yoga yes, more than anyone realises.

Thanks all for the kind words, you have no idea how much I need them right now.

My poor dear friends in adversity, how pointlessly sad it all is. Nonnie - there are no words, but the lovely people on Gransnet surround you with their love and care. Gransnet is a place of solace and healing.

We too have been through all the processes of apologising, whilst not knowing for what, jumping through every hoop, watching every word and just wanting to be loving and kind. It's no good saying it will all come right, and there is always hope because you have lost your boy. One day your grandchildren will know you and through you, your boy, and they will love you for it. The day that happens you will have triumphed over all the sadness and hurt.

Thanks nanban

Nonnie, I am so very sorry, words are inadequate. ? (((Hug)))

A friend emailed me today saying how hard life is since she had the flu - I was far less than sympathetic. I would swap my days for the flu any time. How to lose friends very easily.

Nanban the loss of my son has made me see things very black or white and I have no time for such friends. Yesterday I sent a very forthright email to the 'friend' who had said that DS chose to die. They have not replied. I have also 'unfriended' from Facebook someone who kept posting her very right wing views. It is surprisingly easy to divest oneself of negative people when real tragedy strikes.

Nonnie some people are so thoughtless
Nanban xx

Yes Yoga they are but when they don't even apologise they are out of my life forever. I do have lots of people who have been absolutely wonderful which, perhaps, makes this one couple stand out much more. The kindness and thoughtfulness of family and friends has been outstanding.

If there is one certain thing - huh - it is that we ostracized grandparents get to live with all our nerve endings on the outside. People sail through their lives - I did once oh so long ago it seems - thinking I was kind and empathetic when in fact I didn't have a clue. Now my friends list has dwindled down to the stalwart few who are just lovely and anything less, I don't have the emotions left for. My loss of course. And I have you lovely lot who stick with through thick and thin.