Apologies

Thanks mcem!

mcem

1. Go to mobile site
2. Select this thread
3. Click on down arrow in top right corner
4. Choose Hide this Discussion
5. Here endeth badly-written and illogical psychobabble!
Result!!!!

I can't be bothered to wadle through all this, having read the first page or two and skimmed the rest. What I will say is that cutting off a grandparent ( unless they have seriously physically or mentally abused a child) is incredibly cruel and selfish. I have a friend who is frequently in floods of tears as she has been cut off from all contact with her GC by her S and DiL, and she really has no idea at all why. Her DH is currently undergoing treatment for cancer but her attempt to tell her son was met hy a cruel rebuff. All this posturing about how to apologise makes me livid.

Knicka63 The OP had some goods points about apologies, but badly written. Came across as very patronising.

Exactly - and what I tried hard to explain earlier in the thread; some points good, some less so in my view. But any validity that did exist has got lost. Unfortunately the OP has ignored all (bar 1 early one) my perfectly reasonable questions and comments whilst engaging with others in an apparent war of words. That is a pity!

The OP had some goods points about apologies, but badly written. Came across as very patronising. However, as others have said, sometimes, a gold plated genuine sorry will still make absolutely no difference. The DIL, for invariably it is a DIL, feels threatened and antagonistic towards her MIL, and often vice versa, and it just wont wash, because one or the other doesn't want it to.

Take us down to animal level, and you have two bitches sharing a hearth, Junior bitch wants to make it her own with her new mate, Senior bitch needs to back off, because Junior bitch is making a new pack. Junior bitch's mother is welcome, because, well, she's her mother and will solidify her standing. Unless the pack can gel as one, there will always be these issues. We are mammals after all. Primitive responses still rule.

This thread is certainly eye-opening as to why so many are estranged or why they have strained relationships with their AC.

So many of you are offended by a post that merely suggests taking a closer look at your own behavior. OP asks a bunch of questions and then says "if this applies to you". And so many of you are acting like you're personally attacked and responding with pettiness like "I can't be bothered to read it." And that would mean you read maybe the first two lines and were already so pissed off that you felt the need to comment that you hadn't read something. And I am shocked to see so many encouraging the idea of never apologizing. Really? Never? Even when you're wrong? But of course, you're never wrong... And then you all sit here and act like you have NO IDEA why your adult children can't stand you and have problems with your behavior.

That's fine. At least it's a self-solving problem. The more you choose to act so immature and selfish, the less your family wants to be around you. And now you all have devolved into attacking grammar lol.

I'm just going to laugh now anytime I read another "estranged through no fault of my own" post/comment. So much denial. So much refusal to change. I would think some would at least be smart enough to realize that you have no power in these cases. And if you want to see your GC, you can't act so irrationally as to believe you should truly never apologize to anyone. It is of your own choices that you have ended up in your situations.

You're not soontobe a grandma are you LLL?

LLL ??? See previous posts

Nope! Actually you will be a special exception. Whatever happened to, "Not in a position to dictate otherwise."

Could you perhaps just ignore us a little less audibly then?

"Your the gift that just keeps on giving aren't you! "

Absolutely! I do get it. You + the likes of Mawbroon and maybe several other, "old members," of the group are the self appointed "group police right?" You scout new comers and try force them into a corner if they dare share a "non-traditional opinion."

No wonder she mentioned something with regards to "standing up for others and apologizing on their behalf." For despite a post NOT even relating to you, people are so used to your "busy bodies," and you probably never back down until you alienate an "annoying poster," with a different opinion.

I'll just add you to my ignore list, but good/bad news I'm here to stay. Get used to it.

Your the gift that just keeps on giving aren't you!

Chewbacca

Nope! - you're not amused. Not close! In all reality and from your previous posts, you're very irritated, frustrated by this entire post and extremely angered over it. Nothing remotely close to being amused. This post hit home didn't it?

Or why else would you be so concerned about a post going perfectly well? OP being a new poster? Credentials? Insults? And type so much about someone making a "making a bigger and bigger twit of themselves," when you can easily laugh an get "weird amused," on the sidelines?

Some people resolve hidden shame with humor - this sounds more like it.

It's a little like watch those programmes on t.v..... you know the ones where people are setting themselves up to make utter prats of themselves and you sort of feel sorry for them, but you also get some kind of weird amusement from watching them? It's a feeling of being amused by their idiocy but also a little bit uncomfortable that they seem so oblivious to their predicament and clearly don't know how to get out of it and so they go blundering on making a bigger and bigger twit of themselves.
Yep, that's this thread!

Chewbacca

"What are you waffling on about now LLL? It's taken you 7 pages, over 8 long weeks, to get to where you are now. You don't appear to have convinced anyone that your theories are viable or acceptable, but still you go on and on and on. This appears to be your first and only post on GN and it's not gone terribly well, has it? Perhaps it might be worth considering what it is that you're looking for and the best way & place to achieve it. But this thread doesn't look promising, judging from responses."

1. Define a post that goes perfectly well? One that has a bunch of viewers in mutual consensus? That openly insult anyone that dares to have a different opinion?

2. Perhaps it might be worth considering what it is that you're looking for and the best way & place to achieve it, by ignoring posts that don't relate to you? If you take a deep breath in and out, and calm down, you will see that not everyone was in disagreement. So whats your point?

3.But this thread doesn't look promising, judging from responses - not when you have grown adults throwing insults like immature hormonal teenagers.

4. Not forgetting the busy bodies who stir a pot that they aren't even eating from - but meddling and drama is all they know.

5. My first and only post on GN - are there any seniority privileges? You know that immature high school mentality where the majority of those who know one another gang up to support one another, and discredit anyone who disagrees with the "original members?" Now that would explain the busy bodies.

But why do you keep coming back to a post that, "according to you is a total failure?" Are you this obsessed with "failure?" or just trying to prove a point?

Chewbacca

"7 long, tediously boring pages of rhetorical garbage from LLL. It's like watching a dripping tap."

You log onto your smartphone/tablet/laptop whatever it is, click on the web browser icon, briefly wait for it to load, type in this web page, click on forums, search for this forum, or pull it from your bookmarks, see a WHOLE LIST of other active forums, BUT recognize (Scratch that - for MawBroons perfect English lets use "recognise" for familiarity purposes) this one that you really don't like, have repeatedly expressed your dislike for it, and strongly believe that its "amateur/DIY psychology."

Now despite having an option to NOT click on the link, you do. You probably think, how can anyone have opinions that differ from mines? I've discredited the post before but I still need to click on this link read the "garbage," get angered by it and then discredit it again.

"Its like watching a dripping tap." You seriously must not have anything exciting to do with your life, if you CHOOSE to continuously irritate yourself in this manner. Why do you choose to go over " 7 long, tediously boring pages of rhetorical garbage from LLL." Why are you doing this to yourself?

What are you waffling on about now LLL? It's taken you 7 pages, over 8 long weeks, to get to where you are now. You don't appear to have convinced anyone that your theories are viable or acceptable, but still you go on and on and on. This appears to be your first and only post on GN and it's not gone terribly well, has it? Perhaps it might be worth considering what it is that you're looking for and the best way & place to achieve it. But this thread doesn't look promising, judging from responses.

"very kindly practice this"

"Rest my case."

Please rest it. You've obviously never travelled to any other English speaking country. Probably stuck in your small little bubble, and only believing in your in your small little world.

Why are you confused? Your ability to communicate online, means that you have a platform that you can use to educate/inform yourself before specializing - or sorry scratch that - you may just decide to argue endlessly about this too, so for your sake "specialising" - to correct someone else, on something that you are not even well versed with.

Something about not arguing with people who will drag you to their level and beat you with experience?

#busybody#

LLL just likes the sound of her own voice, I think Maw.

very kindly practice this



Good. Your finally making a little sense here


Rest my case.

7 long, tediously boring pages of rhetorical garbage from LLL. It's like watching a dripping tap.

"In English we spell the verb as follows practise
The noun itself is Practice as in “piano practice”

And lastly just stop being Mrs English teacher! In short stop insisting on something that you're once again obviously not well versed in. Another "assumption," that your way of doing things is the universally correct way.

Re-read the sentence where I used this word, and get informed on the different versions of English before you respond, all in the name of "educating," a poster, and proving a point - that's still incorrect if looked at from only one side of the coin.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt"

'And (big sigh) neither Jalima1108 nor I have expressed (or indeed have) relationship problems with our adult children so you must be thinking about somebody else.
Perhaps you could address your advice to them?"

Good! I can finally ignore you too. Self reflect on why your so over the top, verbal and even abusive on an issue that doesn't even relate to you. Whilst being oblivious to something very simple like an 'international web page.'

#busybody#