Always a Gran

I would go on my own for the sake of Granddaughter!! I would also ask the reason why OH has not been invited to this celebration ...so that you understand the thinking behind it

Do you need DH for transport? If not please go alone.

I agree with midgey. Your DH (not her father) will be invited to the later celebration, it seems fine to me.

I would understand you and dh being hurt. Unless there have been problems between him and your granddaughter I think it is unacceptable to ask you to go without him.

First Husband isnt alive. OH would feel left out, but I think he would pay for himself if he had been asked.
You are all right, there is only one eighteenth, thanks for your comments.

It will be very obvious if you don't go - your granddaughter could feel very hurt. I'd put my own feelings aside and just go.

You don't say how long you've been married / whether your OH has been welcomed to the family before.....but in any case, none of this is your GD's fault. Stick a smile on your face and just turn up.

Is your first husband alive , if so will he be there ?

Maybe they invited your ex? Maybe its an expensive restaurant and they want to keep numbers down who knows unless you ask? Would your OH mind if you went on your own?

Sounds like an intimate immediate family only on Friday, surely not difficult to change your plans? There is only one eighteenth birthday isn’t there?