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Grandparenting

How often should you see Grandparents

(109 Posts)
BlueBelle Thu 24-May-18 15:23:51

Her we go, here we go, here we go there is no answer from us Febmum as it is entirely dependant on the family dynamics, the distance, the closeness, the lifestyle each family will make its own comfort arrangements and no one on here can tell you what’s right or wrong

tanith Thu 24-May-18 15:19:08

Most families can work out for themselves what’s appropriate for their family. I’m also a Great Grandmother so we’ve also had to make room for the Grandparents before us and we’ve slipped down the pecking order ??
But thats fine with me and you are entitled to time alone and with friends .

gillybob Thu 24-May-18 15:18:54

Hi Febmummaofaboy smile

Kinda what Jalima1108 said how long is a piece of string

There shouldn't really need to be any rules around seeing/visiting grandparents (on either side) because what suits one family might not suit another.

I am the paternal grandma and see 3 of my grandchildren (12,10 and 8) twice or three times a week (sometimes more)as I look after them while their parents are working shifts. They stay overnight too and I do some of the school runs so I rarely just see them on a visit iyswim, unless its something really special like a family birthday etc. We have had this arrangements since they were only weeks old and they see my house as an extension of their own.

I agree that there needs to be a balance that suits everyone and from your OP you seem to have struck a good/fair balance, that I bet some grandparents on these forums (who rarely/never see their grandchildren) would die for.

Madgran77 Thu 24-May-18 15:11:31

Dear me, I cant imagine why your MIL thinks there is any "should" to it!! How lovely for them that you go once a week!

Jalima1108 Thu 24-May-18 15:07:25

How long is a piece of string?

Susan56 Thu 24-May-18 15:06:52

It sounds to me like you have the balance right.You are a new family and need time for yourselves as well as seeing friends and family.I see one of my daughters once a week and the other twice a week as I look after her little one.We also get together as a whole family once or twice a month.As a mother I love to see my children settled with their own families and love that they include us but hope I would never demand/expect them to spend more time with us than they want to.Your mother in law is lucky to see you once a week and I hope she learns to realise this.Good luck?

Seaside22 Thu 24-May-18 15:01:04

Hi, I don't think there's a set amount of time to see Grandparents, or anyone for that matter, it's what suits your family.I see my small Grandchildren once a week, for a couple of hours, my older Grandson maybe only once a month as he's a teenager now, with more important stuff to do.I must admit I would love to see more of my family,but understand there's just not enough time to go around. Maybe in between visits send some photo's or a text to keep them going.

hildajenniJ Thu 24-May-18 14:59:13

My children saw my parents once a week, they saw my MiL more often as she lived at the end of our garden in her own little cottage. They used to go to see her as soon as they were old enough to walk there.
When I was a child my Dad took my sisters and I to see our paternal grandparents every Saturday afternoon. I really don't think there's any need to see them more often, unless you need or want to of course.

Febmummaofaboy Thu 24-May-18 14:53:20

Hello!
I currently see my mum once a week while my husband is at work with our baby and we also see his parents once a week with the baby, my mum is happy with the arrangement but my MIL says we should be round more and that her friends DIL has her MIL round alot more than us?
How often does everyone see their grandchildren or think they should see them?
We have our own friends and siblings (aunts and uncles) and want some alone time as well so don't know how we would fit more visits in really?