Feeling used

Our experience is exactly as lulu, describes. We did some thinking and talking about it and decided the contact is different but not necessarily worse, or indeed better. There can be an awful lot of tension in a week. If you’d like some family time why not tell them, suggest a day out as a beginning, otherwise enjoy being with your grandchildren and don’t over think it.

So....you get the children on your own, and the other grandparents get them with their parents. I know which I'd prefer ! I'm happy to have them alone, and I do so on almost every school holiday. We have very special times, with no parental interference. I never feel used - these times are precious and will be over too soon.

Why don't you just relax and stop comparing yourself with the other grands.

If you have a generally good relationship with your daughter and have enjoyable times with your grandchildren, I'd leave well alone. If you start a quarrel, you could end up seeing less of them.

Perhaps some people might regard me as weak but I don't like arguments or confrontation.

Did they all go on holiday together at the other GP expense, cos if so who can blame them. Why do so many feel the need to compete surely it doesn't matter. Do they have a good time with you because that's all that matters.

Emelle I don't know if the other GP live further away but in my experience the family see far more of the GP who are at a distance whilst we get the odd Sundays and child care in the holidays. I don't mind and only do what I can but I know the others think the GC are in and out of our house a lot - not true.

I think you should only agree to having your GC for the amount of time/ times that you feel comfortable with.You should then feel less put upon,
Don’t be afraid to say no, and try not to think beyond that.

Why though, why not just enjoy having your grandkids and be thankful they trust you enough to let you, and that the kids want to be with you, all this tit for tat stuff mystifies me
They ve had a holiday with the in laws ! Well lucky them
have you suggested a holiday and they ve refused it ? I think OldMeg has a good point invite them for next year and see what happens

Like the proverbial worm, turn, Find something pressing to do for at least part of that week and say you cannot cover all of it.

Perhaps your DD trusts you to have the GC in the holidays, but doesn’t trust her in-laws.
Perhaps she’s actually very grateful to be able to leave them with you while she has some time to herself?

grammaretto
#whatmumsarefor

That does sound a bit rough. Do you think it's because it's your DD and she treats you a bit differently to the way she is with her in-laws. You are the faithful familiar one who'll take the GC when needed whereas the in-laws invite then all for an actual holiday?
I know our DD went on holiday to a resort with her in-laws who paid for everything.
I'm happy for them. Lucky girl!
I get any moaning that's going though and I bet the in-laws don't get that.

Actually re-reading your post I gather they have. Why don’t you suggest that you and your DD and family go away together next year and see what the reaction is?

Hmm....I’d feel used too, but can you clarify.

Have the children gone away with their parents and the other set of grandparents for this holiday?