How often do you see local gc

And another poster who hasn’t read the rest of the thread

I see my grandchildren and daughters several times in the week, their partners less so. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine but I stay away at weekends as that is their family time. I help with school projects and pick ups and running around to various clubs and, of course, babysitting. I pick up things from shops they have forgotten as they both work full time and I am semi retired so have the time. One lives 15 miles away, the other 3 and we also work together too!
I moved away from my parents and in laws due to my ex's job so they couldn't be as hands on but we drove home several times a year to see them and they came down for holidays likewise. It's such a shame when families don't get on, you miss so much and I know my daughters will be there for me when I can no longer cope by myself.

Thanks chewbacca for letting me know. I agree then Jalima1108 ... we must be too (?polite or gullible) to bother replying to her posts. She seems toxic doesn’t she? I shall remember her for future reference & not ‘bite’ when she next posts!

I'm amazed posters are still falling into the web of toxicity.

You are so nice.

My grandchildren live about 15 minutes walk away, and come for tea every Friday after school. I would say about once a week is about right if you live near them. If they lived further away I would not expect to see them so often.

I guess we are the in-laws to our SIL who lives just around the corner. We see them regularly twice a week as we pick them up from school. Rarely at the weekend, as that's their family time - unless it's a sleep over when parents go out. Currently they've been here since Wednesday whilst their parents are enjoying a well earned mini break in the sun. I don't think it's about how often, I think it's about what works for you and them. We have no complaints.

I'm a gran and just wondered why you feel the need to "push it" to twice a month. My daughter's children go to the same school where I work, so I see them every day. They still come home with me around once a week for a couple of hours, while mum's in work, or for an occasional sleepover. My son's children are 18, 16, 12 and 10, so have loads of stuff going on. We try to get together for Sunday lunch, but failing that we get together whenever we can. I don't see why either my son or daughter would feel the need to limit their time with me?? They all love being here and we love having them!

Groundhog Day!

Diktat has posted before Urmstongran. On the same subject. With the same problems. Getting the same responses and advice from the same people. Takes no notice.

My GC live with their mother, 20mins drive away. My son has them every other weekend, Friday teatime until Sunday teatime, and also after school on Wednesdays for 3 hours. We (husband and me) see the girls at all those times - far more than when he was with the mother. She was like you - she kept us at bay, and she was mean and awkward.

Honestly ladies I had to check the calendar just now to see if it was 1st April. I’m pretty certain this is another wind up. I think this poster and violetflowers on the first topic on here are having a laugh .... at our expense. Wouldn’t be at all surprised if they both registered today!

A brilliantly composed synopsis Iam64!

Yes, there is; go and cook dinner and have a


dum da dum da dum dadum
dumdadumdadeedee

Waves at Chewbacca

Says thanks to BlueBelle for wondering why the OP posed the question in the first place.

Hello Jalima - agree with you about the vicarious thrills for toxic comments.

Honestly - wanders off , questioning whether there isn't something better to do than living in these misery memoir type discussions. Answer before wandering, is yes there is - catch the final bit of the archers.

When mine where small we used to see them everyday either OH or I when not at work would collect them from school until their mum finished work.
Now they are all grown up they pop in when they are passing just to say hello or will ring/facebook me to keep in touch as they have gotten older the visits get less as they have their own lives to lead,

My DD,her DH and my DGD ( nearly 12) live just under 5 miles away from me. It is 2 buses for me to get there (I don't drive) which takes about an hour and 15 minutes. On average,I see my DD and DGD twice a week,once when I go to their place,and once meeting them in the town which is halfway between us and only a 25 minute bus journey for both of us. I know I don't live far from them really,it's nothing compared to the distance some grandparents live from their families,but I do actually wish I lived nearer to them! I'm hoping I can get a transfer to their town with the council some time in the next year or so.

Diktat I have no idea why you posed the question in the first place You have a very abrasive way of speaking and sound as if you know exactly what you want to do and exactly what you will do you don’t like your mother in law full stop You have no intention of being kindly, inclusive or even polite
No answers on here would make you change your mind so why ask ??

It's agnurses mode d'operandi Chewbacca.

To send out such messages intended to cause dissent and advice to cut people out.

One wonders if some get a vicarious thrill from thinking that others could be influenced by such toxic views.

Those are the EXTREMES of people though don't YOU think agnurse? There ARE not many parents OR grandparents who ARE molesters are THERE? It seems a TAD unfair to issue WARNINGS to people that NO children should BE left with anyone that their PARENTS are uncomfortable WITH because they might BE molesters. Very FEW of us ARE.

HurdyGurdy

That's a rather naive statement. In Hubby's case, for example, he grew up well DESPITE his father's actions.

Young children should NEVER be left alone with someone the parents don't trust. EVER.

If MIL feels that she's in "competition" or doesn't respect the OP's boundaries, there's the potential that she will teach the kids it's okay to be disrespectful to their parents or encourage them to hide things from their parents.

I have a toxic FIL who allowed his children around his own father.

TRIGGER

GFIL molested his own daughter over a period of several years.

END TRIGGER

Fortunately GFIL passed away before Hubby and I got together. FIL has treated us abysmally and I want no further relationship. Hubby agrees with me. Hubby has limited contact with him and we have NO plans to see him in the future.

Five of our GC live over a hundred miles away so we only see them about every 2-3 months when work and school commitments allow. Our other two GC live just a few miles away but we only see them occasionally, if invited. No hostility between us, it's just the way it is.

You do seem to have a lot of issues with your in laws. So how about you just let them see their grandchildren on their own. Then they can build up an unencumbered relationship, and you are spared the ordeal.

They seem to have successfully raised your husband, so can't have done too a bad job as parents

Just as some mil's are extremely unpleasant, so it is clear are some dil. I am am lucky with mine, love her to bits, certainly wouldn't dictate what visits I expected. Her mother cane first but there was lots of room for me. Just wanted them all happy. If I saw them once a month I was happy with that. Now they are all older all my gc are in regular touch by phone and messaging, so something I did was right. How I would cope with the confrontational attitude of the poster I don't know, I think I would just try to see as little of her as possible, difficicult when you love gc I know, but I wouldn't dance to her tune for sure.

My son and 5 children live 22 miles away and when they were younger we see them every week and usually have one or two staying the weekend. Now they are in their late teens and early twenties it different, one of them we see about once a month whilst the others rarely bother to keep in touch. I do however see my son usually once a week when we meet for coffee, a chat and maybe a shop.

chewy