Soes your DD have a dishwasher? If so, suggest she puts the daughter’s drink bottles in there, and failing that, she boils a kettle and pours the hot water in there, and then uses a bottle brush, it sounds a real health risk.
Smoking, well, we all grew up in a tobacco fug I should think.You can say what you think of it, smoking around a child but be prepared for an arguement.
Untidy and a bit mucky homes, as long as there is love and not neglect don’t matter too much.
Your DD doesn’t have your good hygene standards ( mine doesn’t either.) They may well improve with time though.