Head Banging GS

Its amazing isn't it. They have it down to a fine art. Loud enough and alarming enough to get a reaction (and bruises), but never hard enough to really hurt themselves. As you say easy to ignore/distract during the day but harder at night. However, it is the reward of parental attention that reinforces it. Does the HV know of - or run a sleep clinic?

No Izabella she doesn't offer anything like that and wasn't really constructive on giving strategies to help them. My daughter is so sad and it's affecting all of us because we don't want him to hurt himself and we want to understand why he does it. It's not as if he wants to sleep with them in their bed and get out of the cot as he just messes around if they DO take him in bed with them. Lack of sleep and worry is making their lives a misery and I feel so utterly helpless to suggest anything other than padding the cot or wearing a helmet (which GS wouldn't tolerate)

My youngest grandson used to head bang. It was horrible while it lasted. They lived in a house with a tiled hall floor, and he used to bang his head there!? It is upsetting for those caring for him, but it is a phase some children go through. The thing is to try not to worry. Head banging is "self regulating" behaviour, and he will not bang his head severely enough to cause any damage apart from an odd bruise, he'll pull back from actually hurting himself, although it won't appear so.
By the time my grandson was about 3 he had outgrown the habit. My DD tried not to reinforce it, by leaving him to bang his head, it's a hard thing to ignore though.
To reassure you, DGS is 6 now and a very intelligent little boy.

Here is an article about head banging
It might be heplful

Has your grandson had a medical check ( not only HV) to exclude any physical cause for the head banging JulieM123. If that's all clear then there is helpful advice on here. It's a common problem and usually as MiniMoon says, self regulating.

Reading the OP reminded me that one of my DS used to rock his body and bang his head quite violently at night to go to sleep and if waking during the night. He also carried this on as a teenager although the frequency and length of incidents gradually decreased. I don't remember thinking they had stopped but they must have.

I never noticed any bruises or difficult behaviour, he was a happy and healthy child. I was told not to worry by the health visitor, she said she had come across it several times and it was just his way of getting to sleep. I was worried for a while but, as there seemed to be no consequences, just accepted it. I just had to warn any babysitters.

yes sodapop, he's been checked out as fine. He's displaying normal behaviour in every other way; just this aspect is very upsetting to watch.

I know you can buy protective helmets for children who are headbangers. But I wouldn't suggest this unless it has been agreed by a specialist paediatrician.
If the child is ok in other ways hopefully it's a phase.
Maybe try substituting a comfort blanket or soft toy? Does he have a dummy? (Not recommending that but out of interest.)

Yes! My son was a Head-banger!
Every time he was stopped from doing something dangerous or generally not having his own way.
I mentioned it to various people and was told it was not that unusual, to ignore it and it would stop.
Which I did and it did stop quite soon.

Thanks Fennel, They've tried cuddly toys, blankets but nothing works. He wont take a dummy so we are at a loss at what else to try.
All our reading says usually stops by age 3 so that's in a year and 8 months! We really hope he stops sooner than that. I don't think my DD can take much more.
Buffybee, did he head bang in the night?

Thanks both, thanks all

Not that I saw but he used to shake the cot, so he might have been and he used to climb out of his cot when very tiny and we couldn't figure out how he did it, until I heard him one night and watched him, he was very ingenious.
Just a thought, we put a few toys on the side of the cot, they were like activity type things that attached to the rails and we'd hear him playing on those if he woke up. Quite a few teddies as well.
I used to panic when he was banging his head on the kitchen tiles but if I didn't rush over he would stop and look round to see why I wasn't doing.
It is upsetting to see though but if I was stopping him doing something I would offer him something else at the same time.
You mentioned that even if they take him into their bed, he still won't sleep and messes about, so he might just be awake and want to play.
I'm thinking maybe if when he starts getting frustrated in the night and he's headbanging, they could just give him say a little computer type thing and tell him to be quiet and if he starts again, take it off him and just leave him and grit their teeth. He will be better when he can tell them what he wants, he'll probably talk very early as well.
It does stop though but probably sooner than three, as he started it so young. He's probably going to be a live wire though and he's probably into everything already. Very curious! Probably very clever!

What’s he banging his head on ? Isn’t that what cot bumpers are for
I wouldn’t worry probably boredom if he’s awake when everyone else is asleep he wants attention I think the more his parents worry the more he’ll use it as a weapon to get them running

Julie I will pm you.

My son wasn't a headbanger but he used to stand up in his cot and rock it so violently that it travelled across the floor to the open door. As he did this he was bellowing...a very noisy process.

I ignored it and it soon stopped - but ignoring it was the hardest thing to do.

Have you tried any of the baby-calming herbal medicines?
Cot buffers as well.
Or herbal sleep aids for Mum and Dad?

My grandson would headbang on the wooden floor. I think it was frustration at not being able to do what he wanted. He grew out of it, so don't worry. Maybe pad the cot so he doesn't hurt himself.

In the 15th century, babies and toddlers wore padded hats, consisting of a thick roll of cloth attached to an baby's bonnet, so that the roll protected both the forehead and the back of the child's head.

I would make one and put it on the bairn at night then ignore his head-bashing as the risk of him harming himself will be lessened.

Like most forms of babies' bad habits or naughtiness it will stop once he discovers that Mummy isn't paying any attention.

How much does a doula charge for 10 hours in total pre and post natal? My DD has told me in Tunbridge Wells it is £1,000 which is £100 per hour??

Oh dear this does bring back memories of many years ago. My first born - a boy - was a head banger at any time he was thwarted in anything. Would actually crawl over to somewhere like fire hearth so he could have somewhere hard to bang on. Had bruises also. strong minded lad, it stopped once he was able to talk and let us know what was getting upset about. Grew up to be a normal, lovely man, good career, lovely wife. Celebrates his 50th birthday later this year.

What the heck’s a doula ?

I had one grandchild who was a breath holder oh my word that is scary too They re crafty little things aren’t they when they can’t get theit own way

Get h8m a head protection helmet, similar to those used by boxers when practicing. Ensure his cot is well padded, really really well padded.

Doula = someone who helps mothers/couples transition into parenthood when one becomes pregnant. Help and advice pre and post natal including excercise, feeding, routines, strategies. They are a support to the mother, not a midwife or medically trained professional.

DD was a head banger from being able to sit up. I believe it was frustration at not being able to make herself understood.
In her teenage years she bacame a head banger again when she got into heavy metal music.

My daughter used to bang her head till she bled. She dinted the wall in the sitting room with her banging and was always trying to get outside so she could bang her head on the paving slabs. She stopped doing it at about three and is now perfectly normal and a top flight lawyer.