Losing grandson to smartphone

Thanks everyone - I appreciate the many different views. I am more than happy when my grandson is playing sport or messing about with his friends but I'm afraid the phone could affect his young brain - I mean, how much evidence to the contrary can there be bearing in mind this is a new phenomenon. Can they really understand some of what they are seeing at that young age? It's not so much the games I worry about though they're bad enough but more what they can see on the internet that's the worry. Also fear it can become an addiction. I really don't think it's a passing phase. It's a way of life for youngsters now and IMO they are missing out on real life. In the town where I live 2 nightclubs have closed and you just don't see young people out enjoying themselves in the evening. They are all on social media apparently.

They do not have to, not if parents have rules and obey them, themselves.

I do not care how old a child is in their grandparents home, grandparents rules are obeyed.

awww, I understand, it is sad how things change. Those phones take over !....

I'm afraid they are all like that, boys and girls. It's quite sad, in my opinion. I had a disappointing Christmas, expecting the DGC to be keen on the usual silly family games with a prize at the end but this year (for the first time) they didn't want to know. End of an era.

I'll play devil's advocate: Are you coming across as a bit needy? The thing is, he's twelve years old, nearly a teenager. He won't think of himself as a child. He may be on the cusp of puberty, which will make him feel weird. He's been working hard at school all day. Maybe he just needs some space. If he's otherwise polite and isn't worryingly secretive or isolating himself in a room by himself, maybe you just need to take a step back? What you don't want is for him to choose to stay out with his friends instead of coming to you.

I agree that he shouldn't use his phone at the table. Maybe you could get his attention long enough to agree some simple rules that work for both of you but keep it light. Don't alienate him.

He's turning into a man and we know they never hear a word we say!

so long as they put them away to eat I have no problems with their phones.Its up to their mother to make the rules about when or how long not me.My 16 year old seems to live on his sometimes but at other times has really deep discussions about politics or mental health issue or like yesterday Abortion
.He's been doing abortion and euthanasia in class and wanted to sound out my views ,and of course he had all the statistics at his fingertips .He still loves a cuddle all 6 feet of him

The novelty doesn’t wear off though, the phones are a social life in their own right with everyone ‘group talking’ etc With all my seven grandkids in the teens they have all gone down the phone route and haven’t come out yet ? but then I was always getting told off for never taking my head out of a book so same difference I guess

That's my feeling too MOnica

Is it new? They can go OTT with these things when theyre new until the novelty wears iff

Have you never heard of Grandma's house, Grandma's rules?

Now is the time to introduce some. Like not having the phone on the table when eating, or only use one device at a time. TV or phone, but not both at once.

Imm6

Echo that with our granddaughter and us.

I always thought it would be boys that ' took her away ' but it's a ruddy phone ?

I am happy to accept I am on old fuddy duddy but as long as the smiles and hugs keep coming I stay happy.

I think that thought needs to be given to what it is doing to him really - I know you are sad because he is not talking to you, but the phone issue is a vexed one.

On the one hand they learn loads from the access it gives them to facts and figures; and it is a good way of keeping in touch with friends. It is about the level of use really.

It sounds as though your DD is not worried about it and I presume she has put the necessary safeguards on. I think you need to go with the flow - I am not sure what else you can do, unless you are prepared to enforce different rules for your house, which is reasonable, but a pain to insist upon, and will put him off being with you.