Feeling Used and Abused

Does she have a partner? Something doesn't sound right to me? I would babysit anyway and just bide my time..

I would definitely babysit. Why cut off your nose. You may finish up with no contact at all!

My hubby (her dad) is trying but she won't see him. He's written to her explaining his concerns and also telling her we love her and miss her. Not very hopeful but you never know. Thanks everyone for your input. It's really appreciated.

It seems to me that all you can do is maintain contact in whatever way possible. Don't judge, you don't know what the problem is, but allow her the opportunity to talk if she wants to. If you cut off contact it may be very difficult to re-establish it again

Thanks everyone - we have tried to talk to her but she just refuses to open up about anything. If we babysit we won't actually see her it will just be a quick handover. I'm afraid it's really out of my hands - I know hand on heart that I've tried everything with her, and always have offered help, a listening ear if there are problems, I've offered to take her out on our own if it would help but unfortunately it's all been thrown back in my face. It's very sad and I am worried about her but she's a grown woman and if she refuses to speak to anyone what can we do.

Yes I would baby sit too and take the opportunity to have a chat with your stepdaughter. It does sound like she is having some problems.

What stella says

Yes, it does seem that you are being take advantage off. The question is, do you have any idea why she is acting this way?

You say She has alienated not just us but the rest of her close family lately I think that is the nub of the question. Why is she doing this. Is it to hide relationship problems, a sign of mental distress or other reason?

I think the answer to this question should probably dictate how you respond. If it is clear that there are relationship or mental health problems, you probably need to hang on in, in case you need to be able to see signs that she is on the point of imploding or collapsing.

Have you discussed the problem with other members of your family. Perhaps a coordinated response would be in the best interst sof all.

You need to find out why she's become so distant .It wont be for nothing so if you know you can help sort it

If you haven't seen her for 3 months, I'd hardly say you've been used and abused. I'd jump at the opportunity to see the children while babysitting - why refuse when it just means more alienation ?

Maybe there is something else going on here especially if this has become worse recently. Could you possibly do the babysitting it would give you chance to see her and GC which you are not going to get otherwise. Please try not to give her the opportunity to say you can't see the GC.

Won't you and your husband see her if you babysit?