Boasting Rights

I am very proud of my grandchildren's achievements, but I wouldn't bore anyone outside the family in any detail about them. By the same token although I am always polite I have sat through many a mindnumbing session on how clever someone else's grandchildren are.

I wrote what I wrote and there was an automatic assumption that I must have been boasting and bragging and not interested in hearing about other people's DGC. Despite me saying I didn't - mainly because for the last 40 years I have learnt never to say anything.

Which rather proves my point and explains why I always talk to people about their DGC and say only the vaguest things about mine.

As my post on here has proved, it isn't worth the hassle.

Yes but its the way it's done MOnica there is a difference between being proud and bragging. Also to be reciprocal and listen to friends when they want to talk about their families. I saw my friend recently who tells me everything about her family, I know details of each one, I mentioned my daughter by name and she replied 'who is that ' says it all really.

I learnt long, long ago to express delight to my DC's (and DGC's) when they did something special and let immediate family know how they are doing, but say nothing outside the house.

As a family we are 'cursed' by high intellectual attainment and nothing but nothing attracts the vitriol of others more than mentioning any kind of academic success. Sports, art, performing arts yes, but academic, never.

So it has continued. Until you end up not telling anyone anything about DC or DGC, no matter how trivial, academic or otherwise, for fear of the reaction.

It is not a case of bragging and boasting, but just now and again being allowed to express your delight at something they have done.

Granny23, with you all the way. What is the world coming to? I never miss the opportunity to praise my two sweet grandchildren to high heaven, even just occasionally slipping in the odd "you're so beautiful" - what on earth is wrong with making them feel good? As for this awful new thing I heard about, where people object to applause at children's concerts (because it might upset some)....don't even get me started! It would be a miserable world if we didn't give each other compliments and show our appreciation, and as far as showing how much we love our kids and grandkids, its a no-brainer

I don’t think any of my grandchildren’s achievements would really be of any interest to anyone outside immediate family. I also agree that there is a big difference between praise and boasting, and the more praise a child gets the better.

I always notice all the posts on social media about ‘ brainbox’ and ‘ clever clogs’ children when the end of term reports come out, or the ‘ superstar’ ones after a concert, usually preceded by, ‘proud mummy moment’, so it seems many parents are not at all reluctant to boast!

Sharing one’s pleasure for our GCs successes is fine, but IMO boasting isn’t the same, it makes it all about the boaster rather than the achiever.

Mine are still only 4 and one just born so I am watching and learning on this thread. I am very proud of the way my DS and particularly DiLs are bringing them up. Perhaps I should tell them that....

My father was always telling my sister and me how brilliant and pretty we both were. It made me extremely self-conscious but my sister developed self-confidence in spades. So, telling the kids themselves how fantastic they are can easily backfire.

I love hearing about my friends' DGC and seeing their photos and videos. It's as if I had a share in them myself. But, again, they are only tiny yet so no academic or sporting stardom to boast about.

As little folk, one grandmother went NC with us for a decade (adult siblings rowed, and she picked a side and NC'd us), and the other refused to ever show her face at our school even in dire emergency. Not a Catholic primary school, you see, so completely beyond the pale.

As a result, when the other kids started picking on us for our failure to produce any grandma at Grandparents Day, school show etc, we hit on the idea of simply claiming they were dead. We were never asked about it again, problem solved.

After I went to a high profile (Catholic) secondary and started winning national competitions of one sort and another, both began suddenly telling all their friends of this magical granddaughter and one demanded (not asked, demanded) tickets to various school events.

Which culminated in me saying "it will be hard for me to ask school for a ticket for granny, because you see, I told them she was dead"

The moral of the story is, please be supportive of your grandchildren. We really notice it when you don't notice us

I think it's wonderful to hear about the achievements of children and young adults. They are our future and I am delighted that so many are doing so well in life.

Ah Teetime You have really 'Got it' i.e. the purpose of this thread. It is here so that we can share our 'bursting to tell someone' moments, without fear of boring friends or being accused of one upmanship. As it is Gransnet, those who don't like it can simply ignore the Thread, without fear of giving offence.

How lovely Granny23 of course you are proud of them and its such a lovely emotion it bursts out sometimes and you just have to tell someone and I think that's right and proper than grandparents share GKs news.
My experience is that its the parents who are more boastful and get into some kind of boasting contest re little Johnny having written his first symphony at 18 months and scaled Kilimanjaro at 4.
However I would just say that my little GC is doing wonderfully well at guitar and composition and when he is really famous he is going to buy me a Ferrari.

I guess there's a time and place! I try and limit Grandchild chat with friends who don't have any. It would bore most of them rigid. However, I love seeing and hearing about friend's Grandchildren - and how they're growing up. Most Grandparents I know are equally interested - I just try and not overdo it with friends who simply aren't interested ! And to be fair - why should they be !

Exactly the right attitude John and it does pay dividends. It’s lovely to praise and encourage young ‘uns, tell them they’re amazing (even for small triumphs). It is just a bit much in a group of grandmas when one or two hold court, boring the rest of us.

I have no children or grandchildren to encourage or boast about, but I spent 26 years in Junior Football - 8 to 16 yr olds - I can speak from experience that giving encouragement and praise turned moderate players into little stars. One Manager expected his players to be brilliant and criticised them too much. With some difficulty I persuaded him to praise, not criticise, his players and in the next season he won the League and two Cups.

I was so proud of my gd, she could ride a unicycle age just 4 but equally I was proud of my other gd when she overcame her terrible fear of dogs. Any achievement big or small is something to be proud of.

I’m boasting that my 34 month GD decided last week to potty train herself! Just announced she was wearing big girl pants and apart from a few accidents in the first couple of days she is now dry with little fuss! Hooray her mother said!?

Some grandmothers are like the verbal equivalent of those ‘round robin’ letters in a Christmas card.

Somewhat unusual I guess but I had many reservations about being G first time round. I was totally wrong and simply adore the two GC who arrived in due course. I always have an up-to-date photograph of them with me just in case anybody asks. Would never proffer same otherwise. I also confess I am seldom asked about them other than 'how old are they now?' Doesn't matter a jot to me. My cup runneth over.

Having watched England's defeat against Wales yesterday, I am pleased to announce that my 11-year-old GS scored a try today and that his team won.

My grandchildren are all bright and beautiful and I could boast all day about them and their achievements but I won't.

I have eight grandchildren with a variety of talent between them. Some are arty, some sporty, some musical, some creative, some pretty clever. I praise all of them for their strengths but never brag outside the family. They are ALL kind, generous and thoughtful and yes I do brag about that.

Lovely news granny23 you shout it from the rooftops, children need and deserve to be praised and encouraged in their achievements.

Like most of the others, I can take only so much boasting from either Ps or GPS especially if they never ask after you and yours.
What used to break my heart was when my own (very intelligent) children were forbidden by me to tell my DPs about their achievements for fear of boasting - something I was constantly being accused of. My two sisters’ sons were average or below. They never knew how little I actually told them... it still holds today. I don’t tell people of the DCs achievements regardless.

It seems to be unusual, but I really do love hearing about other people’s grandchildren. I have one irritating friend who doesn’t talk about hers, even when I ask. She just isn’t interested in them. She was never very interested in her own children, either.