Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

11 Year Old Has Changed Her Name

(123 Posts)
hellymart Fri 01-Mar-19 14:10:07

My friend's 11 year old grandaughter decided to change her name (let's say from Frances to Molly - not really names for obvious reasons) and use her middle name rather than her first name, when she started secondary school last September. I've only just found out when I saw a post on Facebook and it's come as a surprise! Nothing to do with me of course and I wouldn't comment on it to anyone involved, but I'm interested to know what others think. Did you - or your children - change first names at some point in your life? (and if so, why!?)

Annaram1 Sat 02-Mar-19 11:41:47

Very few people like their first name. I was called Annette after my cousin. I hated it because my father, who fancied himself in the limerick department, used to say
"There was a young lady called Annette
Who swallowed her food like a gannet...."

When I said I wanted to be called Anne, he then said
"There was a young lady called Anne
One day she was chasing a man.."

GRRR! Daddy, you were so mean!!! Now I prefer Anna.

Grosvenor Sat 02-Mar-19 11:48:38

When a small group of friends went on holiday, our flights were all booked by one person. At the airport one lady was challenged about her name and had to pay £50 to get her ticket changed. None of us knew that she used her middle name, and her first name also appeared on her passport. When booking a flight, only first names are required.

Arto1s Sat 02-Mar-19 12:24:49

When my younger sister was 3 years old she suddenly decided that she wanted to be known by her middle name rather than her first name. The only problem I can remember was that for the first few months she (and my parents) had to remind other family members when we saw them. My husband has always used his middle name, but even now, after 40 years, I am still taken aback when he is referred to by his first name e.g. on hospital visits, picking up prescriptions etc!

JanaNana Sat 02-Mar-19 12:31:35

Half of our family are known by their second or middle name, some because they prefer it and the others because of family names being handed down and it saves confusion. If it's one of your given names then it's your own choice to use it. One of my cousin's had two names which we had to call her by both, all the time ( her parents insisted) once she became adult she couldn't bear it and we all then knew her by a much shortened version of her first name only.

ninathenana Sat 02-Mar-19 12:36:50

A friend's daughter changed the spelling of her name when she started secondary school. It's a pretty name but she now uses the more modern spelling.
DD wanted to change her name when she was 8/9 oddly the name she wanted was the one I would have liked to give her but avoided as it was a good friend's daughter's name.

Craicon Sat 02-Mar-19 12:40:36

Yes. I changed my first name at secondary school as there was an annoying girl in my class with the same first name.
I’m still using my new name 30+ years later.

Wishes Sat 02-Mar-19 12:48:19

I was always known by my 3rd name but half way through secondary school I decided it was very boring and changed it to my first name.
My mum wouldn't go along with it to this day!

grandtanteJE65 Sat 02-Mar-19 12:51:13

My sister used her middle name for a while as a child, then reverted to the first of her given names. My parents accepted both changes.

I used my first name all through childhood, inserted a hyphen between my first and second name as a young adult, and now use my middle name.

My mother had three Christian names and used them all in turn. Those who knew her as a child called her by her first name, her teenage friends knew her by her third name, and my father and all their mutual friends called her by her second name, as my father felt uncomfortable calling my mother by her first name as it was also the name of his elder sister.

My father had two Christian names, his parents and brother and sister and all that side of the family called him by the first. He elected to be called by a shortened form of his second name at University and was called by that name by anyone, including my mother, whom he met after starting university.

So in my family it is quite often done to use different names at different stages in our lives.

Craftycat Sat 02-Mar-19 12:54:19

Just remembered my Mum was Christened Gwendoline Alice Sheila - the first name after an aunt who was very well off. I think Grandma thought she might leave Mum something in her will as she was so flattered. She died about a year after Mum was born & left nothing so they started calling Mum Shelia from then on. No idea where the Gwendoline came from.This left Mum with a phobia of long names so I only got the one name with no middle names to worry about. Typically I always wanted a middle name!

Jalima1108 Sat 02-Mar-19 12:55:03

Grosvenor We booked a last minute holiday and had to pick up the tickets at the airport - only to find that the travel agent had got my name wrong!
However, the airport staff very kindly let me board (it was in the days before security was tightened up) and I did wonder if I would be able to get home again.
I did!

muffinthemoo Sat 02-Mar-19 13:06:13

I shared a name with a classmate at secondary school and was immediately issued by my head of year with a variant of my first name. "We will call you [Muffinette]"

All my teachers and classmates then used this variant. Many of my friends still do.

This completely flummoxes my parents but I'm fine with it.

4allweknow Sat 02-Mar-19 13:13:55

You can call yourself any name you want as ling as there is no intent to deceive or commit fraud. For legal purposes registered name/s must be used. Of course if a legal change of name that is different.

RosieLeah Sat 02-Mar-19 13:17:28

I have an unusual name and I've never liked it. Legally, it's still my name but I prefer to be known by the name of MY choice, not my parents.

Jaycee5 Sat 02-Mar-19 13:17:55

A relative of mine changed her name from Ruby which, although it has come back into fashion now, was very old fashioned when she was a child and she got a lot of bullying because of it so she changed to her middle name. She had had a difficult childhood as her mother died and her younger brother needed many operations so being bullied for this was the final straw and one of the few things that she had control over.
She probably would have been about the same age as your GD and it gave her much more confidence.

jocork Sat 02-Mar-19 13:48:16

My given name was very old-fashioned and I hated it. I tried to change it mid way through grammar school but a particularly unreasonable teacher made me completely re-write an assignment because I'd put the wrong name at the top! I eventually changed it when I went to university but not by deed poll so some official documents have my original name on them. However my passport is in the name I use despite it not matching my birth certificate. I simply changed it and no-one questioned it.

justwokeup Sat 02-Mar-19 13:55:15

DGF and DF called me by my middle name which was very old-fashioned. However I loved them so tolerated it! smile Now I like that middle name much more than my first name as it reminds me of them.

Ginge51NOW18 Sat 02-Mar-19 13:56:18

I used my middle name ( Susan) when I started school as I could not pronounce Virginia! Eventually I was known as Ginny and if anyone now calls me Virginia it sounds almost alien. I do not object to the name , just feel I am in trouble if someone uses it!. Incidentally my father called me Susan until he died aged 83.

Grannybags Sat 02-Mar-19 14:00:13

My brother never liked his first name and as soon as he started work always used his middle name, although the family still called him by his first name.

It caused a great deal of confusion at his wedding. His friends were all saying who is ...(first name?!)

NannyG123 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:04:31

Babysat a boy for many years and everyone called him ed, I didn't know until a few years after I stopped looking after him that was his middle name. I found out by fb. when he sent me a friends request,

Patzee Sat 02-Mar-19 14:08:40

I used to do payroll; it surprised me how many people did not use their given name, changed the spelling, so it does not seem odd or strange to me anymore.

Patzee Sat 02-Mar-19 14:14:56

Someone dear to me is named Constantine (birth certificate:
Constantine Dean Last Name) ,
but used Dean, for everything, all his life. In the last 10 years, he is now in his 60's, it has become an issue, with legal and government documents in that, in renewals or applications, he must bring his birth certificate, documents are changed back to Constantine, and he now must sign his name Constantine. It has been a hassle

Sueki44 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:16:04

I have the most boring name in the world and no middle name!No one in our family has ( my parents thought it pretentious). I remember saying, “ but it didn’t cost you extra “ ! At school I sat on a table with 5 others of the same name. I’m sure that ,to an extent, your name defines you and I, like an earlier poster, felt deprived!

Kim19 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:18:46

At the ripe old age of 19 I changed my name completely to one of my choice. My Mum was a little confused/hurt at first then no problem.

grannyactivist Sat 02-Mar-19 14:22:50

When we were planning our wedding my husband and I decided to use the names we are known by (middle names) for the ceremony. So as we left the church following the wedding we whipped around the back into the church hall where the Registrar galloped through the wording of the service using our given names - otherwise we would not have been legally married! It cost us extra to have the Registrar present, but otherwise we would have had to either use our given names during our wedding ceremony or have a Registry office wedding beforehand.
On legal and medical documents we are both still known by our given names, which is very frustrating.

alchemilla Sat 02-Mar-19 14:31:20

Bizarrely your first names are more important legally so if you do change them make sure you either register the changes and certainly (if you decide not to bother) make sure the name you book your airline tickets etc matches your passport.

No one in my family going back several generations has kept their given first name. My DD has three first names and wishes she had used the third one - but is called by her surname by most friends and like me, doesn't plan to change it on marriage.