relating to a granddaughter

I think it is sweet that you worry about it. But you'll have no trouble relating. Girls and boys are quite similar. Some boys want to play with dolls, as a girl I wanted nothing to do with dolls, dresses, etc. and just wanted to climb trees and play sports. You never know who your grandchild will be until you meet them. You could very well find yourself spending time with a granddaughter who wants to be just like her granddad.

Good sense (again) GoodMama.

Maya, you can say nothing. Unfortunately it would be a huge misstep for you to interfere in your daughter's relationship with her daughter.

Anything you say will be held against you. Your daughter might possibly be offended at your overreaching to discipline her daughter, even though you are doing it to defend your daughter. Her daughter will most certainly take offense as almost anything contrary offends a 12 year old girl.

12 is an awful age. And one filled with learning and humbling experiences. Trust that your daughter is taking care of it.

If you don't enjoy time with her daughter at the moment, take time to focus on your relationship with your daughter, her mother. Perhaps take her to lunch, spend one-on-one time with your daughter.

Perhaps she will open up and ask for advice, which is the ONLY WAY you could possibly offer any advice to her regarding her daughter. But, be very careful in how you deliver that advice. Make sure not to criticize her parenting or her daughter's character.

Mostly, just let her know (again, only and ONLY if she asks) that 12 is a terrible age and you're there for her anytime. And you're looking forward to celebrating with a glass of champagne when she survives her daughter's teen years - just like you did!

What can I say to my granddaughter aged 12 going on 16 who is rude and offhand to her mother (my daughter)?

They will adore stories with voices I bet you will be a favourite never avoid cuddles and a big old knee to snuggle on and the rest with fall into place This will take you up to about 10 and the rest of us struggle after that too women and men
Do come back and tell us how it all goes

Hi LynnK. DH and I also have an only DS and an only DGD and DH is pretty bookish and into computers and DIY in a big way. He absolutely adores DGD and she him; they get on SO well. Please try not to worry and enjoy this exciting, new little person

I think they key thing is treat her as a child not as a girl. Girls can like the exact same things boys can! Mine is a total bookworm, loves climbing trees, getting mucky, long walks, animals, seeing how things work. See them as a child not as a girl or boy.

Hello there...
I am going to meet my Grand son and Brought Gift from a friend Website
temperandtantrum.com/best-toys-gifts-for-10-year-old-boy/
Thanks alot

My gds favourite game with grandad from about age 2 was rolling down the hill in the garden. Yes, him too so be prepared. You end up doing things you thought you would never do again and in my experience gds don't take no for an answer in those situations. Just be yourself. She will work her way into your heart.
I found with my dh bringing her into the garden from an early age to look at butterflies etc was a great break for her mom and a great distraction for her.
Obviously that all takes a while to happen so in the beginning just smile and coo. Sitting in your favourite chair just holding her will be heaven itself.
Enjoy and don't be under pressure. You don't need to be grandad of the year!

Sounds like a plan, LynnK! Enjoy! And welcome!

TwoSlicesofCake, yes dolls and sparkles and My Little Pony are far from my comfort zone. But your comments are very encouraging. I'll just play to my strengths. Fortunately reading to children is one of them; I try to do voices.

You sound like a wonderful grandfather-to-be. It’s very sweet if you worry about connecting with her. It shows you are interested in her and getting to know her as a person. At first she will be a baby (obviously) so it will be about supporting her mom and dad. But once she’s a toddler you get to build a relationship with her.
My grandpas both lived a ways from us growing up. When they would visit us I remember them as these warm and silly men who loved getting on the floor and playing with my sisters and me. Building blocks, reading stories, chasing us around. One of my grandfathers lives to cool, so we’d always to that together. He was fun, silly and always made me feel like I was a person. You’ll be great. Cut yourself some slack. Kids are kids and being a girl doesn’t mean dolls and sparkles all the time, if that’s intimidating to you. Games, puzzles, stories are all good fun. I’m excited for you!

LynnK you remind me of a friend who had similar concerns. He has the mind and disposition of a bookish academic - and he's also now a grandfather to three little girls who adore him as much as he does them. He took early retirement to spend as much time as possible with them and in fact his youngest daughter bought a house across the road. Relax; you'll cuddle them, play peek-a-boo, take them to the park, read to them - and like magic you'll find your own way to relate and all will be well.

My Grandchildren love all of their grandpas and each of them is different. Some are Loud outgoing always up for a game, Others are very restrained with a scientific minds. They come from lots of different walks of life. The gender of the children does not matter. They will be interested in you as long as you are interested in them.

Don’t think about doing things out of your comfort zone. My DH has never been any good at story telling, he does however have an encyclopaedic knowledge of sport and the East End of London. These are the activities that he does with them. The various grandchildren are taken to museums, libraries, historical monuments, sporting events and cinemas by their grandparents.

I have 8 GCs and I think they are so fortunate to have tso many older people in their lives who love them. One Grandfather is a widower who never did the domestic things with his own children. He now changes nappies, feeds bottles, takes his granddaughter to all the train museums and loves having her for sleep-overs.

Hi LynnK thank you for confirming you're a genuine poster, and apologies for doubting you.

Enjoy your new grandchild, they are a blessing.

Agree BradfordLass

The range of children’s books available is wonderful, and the joy of reading to a young child is really special.

Two of my granddaughters are little bookworms, and enjoy nothing more than an afternoon in Waterstones, which is lucky because I love it as well!

A very good bonding experience in my opinion

Being something of a bookworm myself (never had, nor wanted TV) I love the fact that there are so many wonderful books on the market for young children.

Many of them rely on you making sounds, such as animal noises, to enhance the text and pictures. Most children laugh at this.

There are always traditional nursery rhymes and finger games such as 'Walking round the garden'.

She will get lots of these and more when/if she goes to kindergarten, so you can prime her in advance

I was keen to read the classics to my sons. A A Milne and the original Winnie the Pooh for instance when all his peers knew only the Disney version .

Now I buy for grandchildren and find Book Depository a great resource as one can filter for age of child and type of book. And pay no postage world-wide.

You'll be her star gate into a wonderful world.

I understand you worrying and I think it’s nice that you are concerned enough to ask, when you describe yourself as nerdy and bookish do you mean that you don’t like anything to get in the way of your books and quietness
Babies do interrupt quietness and you do need to interact so these may be the things you are worrying about but the fact you are concerned means you want to change with this little one
Watch how you wife and others react with this little girl and copy Girls aren’t any different to boys when little as she gets older you will be invaluable for stories especial a bedtime one, I m 74 and still remember my dad sitting by my bed reading me bedtime stories
Enjoy your little girl and good luck

Yes I'm for real.
I love children, but I've never had to relate to little girls. Thanks for all the advice. Being who I am, a former editor and a bibliophile, I'm already looking for books for Aubrie Yvonne.
Thanks for advice everyone.

You’re wife is right
You love books so read to her. Read to her from the first day and it will become something amazing between the both of you. As she grows she could share your favourite authors and stories.

But honestly. Just by the way you’re worrying now before she’s even born you’re clearly very loving and caring. She will know everything you feel for you.

I think it’s very sweet he’s reaching out to ask, hope some rather salty posters didn’t put you off op! If you’re worrying about relating to your granddaughter and asking for help, your heart is certainly in the right place! I think you’ll be fine, and your granddaughter will adore you as I adored my grandfatherly neighbor many years ago. ( he was very quiet and I loved watching him whittle little animals for me)

Dads and their girls, a very special relationship, our girls can twist their dad around their little fingers, as can our four lovely granddaughters
Relax and enjoy!

Baby girls always seem to really like men, our DD always seemed to settle better with DH in the evenings than she did with me. I wouldn't worry too much about the first year or so. I wouldn't treat her very differently from the way you did your son. At least you might be able to steer her away from all the hideous pink stuff.

DON'T WORRY I adored my Granpas and my grandaughters adore their Granpa ENJOY!

Being part of a family of several generations of nerdish bookworms, We have found no problems relating to either children or grandchildren nor vice versa.

Lets face it, with you in her gene pool, she too may be a nerdish bookworm. We have several of both genders in our family.