I'm whacked out

You and I both in the same boat at the moment - I am lolling about in front of TV as I too am whacked!

But they are lovely!

Put most of the toys and games away, Dana, out of sight. Just choose a few to put out for them each time they visit. There'll still be a mess to clear up when they leave, but at least it'll be a smaller mess!

Yes, agree with Maggiemaybe that putting away most of the toys would be a help. Find a secure cupboard to store them and change round the ones they have each time they come so they don't get bored with them.

I had 4 of them staying for 2 days/ nights this week and my house was like a bomb site . Every room up to the eyes , every surface sticky, every toy out, every bed to strip, bedding to wash , sand and mud in the shower ...... oh the joys

You have my sympathy. When my DD and DGS were here from abroad for a month earlier in the summer, I was constantly tidying up. After a while I decided to just 'relax into it. I bought lovely boxes. Lots of them from TKMaxx, and everything was away in no time. Especially good are some like old school desks with a lift up lid and a magnetic closure.

Within an hour of dropping them at the airport, I would have given anything to have my untidy house back! Roll on Christmas hols.

Picking up a room full of toys thrown about is exhausting. I have a 2 year old and we do it twice a day.

But, “we” do it. When the room is starting to get unreasonable I grab a box or container and tell her to help me put them away. Usually before we break for lunch. She helps gather the toys and puts them away. She’s quite good at it.
Then we do it again in the evening with her dad before bed.

I would suggest something similar. About an hour before they are set to leave he helps pick up. Sing a song, make it fun. But a 3 year old can certainly help pick up the toys he’s been playing with.

I wouldn’t throw toys with such sentimental value.
Could you hide the majority in your room and only bring down one or two?

It might make the going home easier if you develop a routine, tidy toys into box, perhaps have a little cuddle/story while mum has a cuppa and then home. There’s a reason nurseries and playgroups end quietly!

I agree, just bring a small amount of toys out each time. They will enjoy them just as much. And it's worth trying the suggestion from midgey, re cuddle story - winding down time.

God I don't know how you manage 2x a week. Must take you the days between to recover let alone getting down on your hands and knees to tidy up after them. Isn't once a week enough? Tell your daughter how tired you are. It's not fair on you. She chose to have the children and if they're poor sleepers, she needs to manage that and not put upon you so much.

Insist on not having so many toys out at once. The children can't play properly with anything if too many toys are in front of them.

Try to enjoy it, it does not last forever. tiring yes but nice.

I tend to just leave the toys out (maybe kicked into the corner) but then I'm lazy! My friend, the tidy, houseproud one, always had a rule with her own kids, (and now grandkids) the four toys rule. They only have the four out and have to put one away if they want another one!

I have lots of toys in baskets. I get a basket or two out at a time, then the children help tidy up. ( I do most of the tidying, but it’s good for them to think they’re helping.) Even if they are picked up earlier than I was expecting it doesn’t take long to clear up all the toys and books into their baskets. Then I sweep up, tidy the cushions, pour a nice glass of wine and relax. Proper cleaning happens the next day.
If the three year old is overtired and reluctant to go, could you tell him he can have one toy or book to borrow until next time, and he can choose once he is ready to go home?

Think that you need to make a game out of tidying up before they leave. That way your DD can help too. It's madness to exhaust yourself twice a week.

I think you need to nicely say that you're too tire to tidy afterwards so could you start tidying an hour before they plan to leave and finish with a little story as someone suggested. I'm sure your daughter will understand. Start well in advance. You can't go on like this. They do grow up quickly so you want to remember it as a happy time.

I’m another one with baskets. Also wouldn’t bother trying to tidy up much if they come twice a week. Just enough off the floor to run the vacuum over. You can’t really have a tidy house with children around. I also rotate the toys so everything isn’t out at once. If the nearly 3 year old isn’t used to tidying up, it may cause too much stress to all to try to get him to do it, though making a game out of it might help.

Get a few of those grabber things, saves bending. My grandkids love using them.

I've got my teenage grandkids here now - my daughter is divorced, and she is on a date at the moment, and wanted the house to herself this evening. Being teenagers, they really prefer to stay in their own house, in their own rooms, although they love my cooking. Fortunately, they are close in age, boy and girl, and get on very well. Once I've fed and watered them, they sit in the lounge BUT do not tidy up .....cushions all over the place, empty crisp packets. I have just been down and told them to tidy up before they go to bed. I hope they do.?

Thank you everyone who has replied, I have read your replies with interest and will take them on board.

The idea of using the last hour for clearing up is a good one and indeed obvious when I think about it. I think I am sometimes too tired to even think properly!

The idea of putting some toys away is also one I could have thought of myself had I felt better. We have a toy room for storing the toys which are then brought out into the sitting room and another bedroom with my own children's old jigsaws etc. I will pack some of them out of sight.

THE 3 year old used to be so good at playing with something then tidying it away, but gradually without me really noticing, he has turned into an over tired whirling dervish who strews or hides stuff everywhere so I might find a toy elephant in the cutlery drawer or Lego behind the cushions, jigsaw pieces on the book case etc

This was amusing to start with but now I find it tiresome.

Anyway, moan over and I feel so much better now. I will try be more on top of the game next time and enlist my daughters help.

In our house, when my boys were little, we had a rule 'only 2 toys out each'. After all, with very few exceptions, a child can only play with one toy at a time.

Then, even before they were 3 years old, they helped to tidy up. no cajoling or jollying, it was just another game.
It was a short job and done in a trice. Something your daughter might like to adopt, as she too is tired.
Be firm and don't wait until the last minute when over-tiredness makes the children cross and awkward.

We also spent the last half-hour or so of any play time, after toys had been put away, sitting cuddled on the couch with a storybook. That calmed them down and often they just dozed off.

Play excites children and they need that calming down period.
Especially if they don't sleep well.

No screens, just quiet talking and cuddling before bedtime. My grandson sometimes needed a liquid magnesium, which their naturopath recommended.

Enjoy your GC, why worry about the mess. Be grateful you have them, what’s more important? Would you rather be sitting lonely in a clean and tidy house or surrounded by mess, laughter and love?

I bet a lot of people on the 'estrangement' posts would gladly swap with you Dana!

Maybe so Hetty but it doesn't help Dana.