Beloved granddaughter driving me mad

I once read an article by a leading child psychologist, in which he stated that children under five do not have the mental ability to choose one thing from another. And that if they are offered a choice it makes them upset and distressed.

I found this to be true with my grandchildren.

Do you want to go the park or to the cinema?
Do you want to wear this dress or that dress?

As against ...

We're going to the park!
Put this pretty dress on!
Get in the car!

You could give it a try!

Spam post from bonbon88 reported.

My daughter works in a nursery and told me they use "when and then" with the children, which seems to work

"When" you have put your coat on, "then" we can go outside.

Maybe that kind of technique would work with your granddaughter?

Glad your week passed ok I agree with others no choices so asking who’s going to get their coat on first Can you beat me to the door bet your can’t get your shoes on as fast as me
Never ask ‘No’ is a fantastic word to a 4 year old, power at last ???

It's a pity that all these helpful suggestions were offered but ignored. Let's hope someone else finds them useful and actually puts them in place.

Say "We are going to see what the fairies left out for you to wear today I hope the fairies remembered they sometimes forget". Say "Dinosaurs get their hair brushed like this"

"The mouse came to see what 's for breakfast we better leave a little for the mouse if he likes toast or if he prefers a little egg on his plate"

"The ducks in the park need to tell us their names"

"One of the ducks in the park said her name is Betty Breadcrumb"

"I wonder what you will call the littlest duck"

"I bet you can't swim in your bath"

" What does a ballet dancer wear?"
"Big girl ballet dancers wear -----"

"May be you could wear my clip- on earrings with your parka/blue socks/fluffy jumper/ , better come and see the earrings "

"There might be two coloured feathers on your car seat or may be three coloured feathers"

Keep it playful and if there is a confrontation divert her attention to fairies, princesses, dinosaurs, bunny rabbit's fur, ponies, or whatever she is interested in.

Oh, Lizbethann, you missed a trick there, you could have used "Christmas Elf/Father Christmas" is watching - works wonders with my 5 year old granddaughter!

I agree about the choices but if you are doing the parenting role and not grandparenting you sometimes have to be more insistent. DGS aged 4 wouldn't put his shoes on when I was getting him ready for school. He took them off when I put them on and said he wouldn't wear them. He was very surprised to find himself outside the front door with me and his sister all ready and him in his socks. He sat on the step and put his shoes on.It was all done quietly but firmly.
If she tries"No" to dressing again you can always threaten to take her out in her jamas. The trick is to do it calmly and quietly without shouting or making a fuss. Sometimes it's the emotional reaction they' re after. But a hug and a "Well done" when they do comply helps as well.

Glad your week went well, after all, Liz. And think you were given a lot of good advice here. Sorry you didn't get to use it this time, but certain it will be helpful for the future.

Just one other thought... Please be sure you mean it if you do give her an open choice. After all, even a child has the right to say "no" if they are asked if they want to do something or not. For example, don't assume she'll jump at the chance to do something you think is fun for kids like feeding the ducks. If you ask, "Do you want to go feed the ducks," be prepared for the fact that she might not want to. If you really want to get the kids out of the house, just tell her "We're going to go feed the ducks now" or, as others have suggested, give her a choice of two activities.

Here's hoping your next visit goes more smoothly.

P.D. If you find a week is too much, please let your DD (dear daughter) know. She may have to wait to do that till the kids are older.