Oopsminty
I'd let it go. You are probably right that he ate it but I think it's best left well alone.
Stop the handbag game. Give them the chocolate when you arrive or hang on to your bag.
And cook the steak
Superb advice.
Gransnet forums
Grandparenting
Grandson (12) stealing something from my bag then lying about it
(140 Posts)Oh dear. I'm in a mither, as to whether I should share this sorry tale with my DGS's parents (my son and DIL)
The three children all know that I often bring a little chocolate treat for them, in my holdall, when I visit. Sometimes, when they ask about it, I will say...'It's in my bag, you can get it'
Yesterday. the eldest, my 12 yr old DGS, asked whether I had brought anything in my bag and I teased him, saying 'well I might have done, we shall have to see, later'.
Later, when the younger children were in bed I went to my bag and pulled out a little choc bar, which I gave to DGS. He thanked me and said 'I haven't had a Tw** for ages'. I then went back to my bag to put the other two chocs in the fridge for the other two children. I turned my bag out and there was only one left in there.
Knowing that my DGS has been lying to his parents a lot and that they are struggling with his pre teen behaviour, something made me check in the waste bin. Sure enough, there was the wrapper.
I went and sat with my DGS and said that there was a choc missing...wondered who might have had it, whereupon he srenuously denied having eaten it and suggested that it may have been his younger sister.
In the interests of fairness, I went upstaits and asked his sister who said no - she's 7 and an open book ...I know if she isn't telling the truth. I absolutely believe that she didn't do it.
So back down I went and had a rather one sided conversation with my DGS, about how telling lies can lead to people not being believed when they are in fact telling the truth over a matter. He had little to say, other that 'it wasn't me, I didn't eat it', a couple of times. I've known and loved him since he was born and when he tells lies he has a facial 'expression' and mannerisms which give him away. I was at pains to stress that trust is hard won and easily lost and having said my piece, told him that we would not mention it again.
My dilemma is this...do I tell his mum and dad...they are stressed out already with his attitude and general behaviours. Should I add this to their worries in the name of solidarity in the face of unacceptable behaviour, or should I keep it to myself and simply not bring chocolate to their home, for a while, to reinforce my disapproval?
I am not surprised that he is telling lies as I know that many kids at this point in their development, do so. I am sad that he would lie to my face, as we have always been very close and I hadn't expected it from him.
He is staying with me on Saturday and has asked (prior to 'Chocolategate') for steak and chips for his supper. Do you think that I should put the steak on hold for another occasion and cook him something less 'special' for his supper (we're not talking bread and water here, just an ordinary everyday meal, btw!)
I just don't know what to do for the best as regards telling my DS and DIL and whether to reinforce my own disappointment by not cooking him his favourite meal, at my house, on this occasion.
All and any thoughts gratefully received.
I want to know if he became a bank robber.
Good grief Georgesgran it’s unbelievable isn’t it here goes
THE THREAD IS 5 YEARS OLD THE CHILD IS GROWN AND PROBABLY FLOWN
OMG!!!
Oopsminty
I'd let it go. You are probably right that he ate it but I think it's best left well alone.
Stop the handbag game. Give them the chocolate when you arrive or hang on to your bag.
And cook the steak
Exactly this
WASTING OUR TIME GSM and Bluebelle pointing out the age of the thread, etc.
EVEN CAPITALS DONT HELP!
Callistemon 😅🤣
Even though he's nearly 17 I bet he still likes steak.
Move on and don't go telling tales to the parents. You've dealt with it. He knows that you know but is not likely to admit it.
Cook him his steak and next time don't tease them about little bits of chocolate.
He'll be grown up and left school by now!
Did he turn into an arch criminal?
Did you cook him his favourite food?
I dislike using food as a treat or a bribe. My own DM did it with my DC and I hated it. It undermined my parenting and gave them the wrong idea about sweets.
She was also likely to criticise the DC.
Leave the parents to it is my advice.
I wouldn’t withhold a chocolate bar if they are allowed to have it. How would not giving him steak help matters? . Let it go. It might not have been him,
Just as well he ate the Tw*x bar otherwise it would have gone mouldy or be a melted gooey mess by now.
Why do people trawl for these old threads? 🙄
5 YEAR OLD THREAD, been resurrected by Girlsgram
I have suggested she starts a new thread.
aggie
Karma , he must be 18 by now , I hope he’s not in jail 🤣🤣🤣
You just beat me to it, aggie!
winterwhite
I’d forget about the whole thing. And not spoil next weekend with any reference to it.
A piece of chocolate is not so very much to get heavy about. I actually think it would have been surprising if he’d admitted to taking it when first asked and then of course he had to stick to his story. That’s all there is to it.
So now not only is the five year old post replied to, but the one immediately prior to it is ignored!
Karma , he must be 18 by now , I hope he’s not in jail 🤣🤣🤣
tell his parents, they are his parents for goodness sake. Grandmaz, you have a very different role to his parents, who need to deal with discipline. This will escalate if you don`t and the boy will regard you as a soft touch
I’d forget about the whole thing. And not spoil next weekend with any reference to it.
A piece of chocolate is not so very much to get heavy about. I actually think it would have been surprising if he’d admitted to taking it when first asked and then of course he had to stick to his story. That’s all there is to it.
See what I mean Girlsgran?
Katie590 has commented on the original 2019 post, not on your’s today.
As it was a chocolate bar and you gave him a good talking to don’t take it further
AND don’t tease children about treats
This is a 5 year old thread Girlsgram how you resurrected it I have no idea but you ll be much better starting your own thread
It might be worth starting a new thread Girlsgram as this is 5 years old, albeit on much the same topic. Often people continue to post, but don’t read the whole thread, so simply comment on the original
post.
I don’t know what to do about my almost 9 year old granddaughter. She has always been impulsive and not accepting of any criticism. Yesterday I realized that all of my cash (only about $10-15) was missing from my purse. The only place that I had left it was at my son and daughter-in-law’s house when I was picking the girls up from school. Knowing that the middle girl can be kind of sneaky and the fact that she had been showing off all of the money she had made me suspect her. So I said to her and one of her sisters that I was very sad because I had money missing and I added that I would need to get the police involved. Only after I said that did the middle girl admit that she had taken it and she gave me some money. I thanked her for being honest but I stressed that it made me sad that I couldn’t trust family. This whole situation has made me very upset and I’m unsure how to deal with her in the future. I did tell her mother and I’m sure that she and my son are handling it but I’m just not sure how to act around her now.
Your grandson has learned a valuable lesson.
He has stolen a chocolate bar intended for a sibling, lied:
'I haven't had a Tw** bar for ages,' blamed his sister and ignored your expressed concern about stealing.
Result: he has a special meal cooked for him, has a lovely weekend, is protected from the wrath of his parents, and is not made to face up to what he has done.
By lying he gets away with theft.
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »