Oh dear. I'm in a mither, as to whether I should share this sorry tale with my DGS's parents (my son and DIL)
The three children all know that I often bring a little chocolate treat for them, in my holdall, when I visit. Sometimes, when they ask about it, I will say...'It's in my bag, you can get it'
Yesterday. the eldest, my 12 yr old DGS, asked whether I had brought anything in my bag and I teased him, saying 'well I might have done, we shall have to see, later'.
Later, when the younger children were in bed I went to my bag and pulled out a little choc bar, which I gave to DGS. He thanked me and said 'I haven't had a Tw** for ages'. I then went back to my bag to put the other two chocs in the fridge for the other two children. I turned my bag out and there was only one left in there.
Knowing that my DGS has been lying to his parents a lot and that they are struggling with his pre teen behaviour, something made me check in the waste bin. Sure enough, there was the wrapper.
I went and sat with my DGS and said that there was a choc missing...wondered who might have had it, whereupon he srenuously denied having eaten it and suggested that it may have been his younger sister.
In the interests of fairness, I went upstaits and asked his sister who said no - she's 7 and an open book ...I know if she isn't telling the truth. I absolutely believe that she didn't do it.
So back down I went and had a rather one sided conversation with my DGS, about how telling lies can lead to people not being believed when they are in fact telling the truth over a matter. He had little to say, other that 'it wasn't me, I didn't eat it', a couple of times. I've known and loved him since he was born and when he tells lies he has a facial 'expression' and mannerisms which give him away. I was at pains to stress that trust is hard won and easily lost and having said my piece, told him that we would not mention it again.
My dilemma is this...do I tell his mum and dad...they are stressed out already with his attitude and general behaviours. Should I add this to their worries in the name of solidarity in the face of unacceptable behaviour, or should I keep it to myself and simply not bring chocolate to their home, for a while, to reinforce my disapproval?
I am not surprised that he is telling lies as I know that many kids at this point in their development, do so. I am sad that he would lie to my face, as we have always been very close and I hadn't expected it from him.
He is staying with me on Saturday and has asked (prior to 'Chocolategate') for steak and chips for his supper. Do you think that I should put the steak on hold for another occasion and cook him something less 'special' for his supper (we're not talking bread and water here, just an ordinary everyday meal, btw!)
I just don't know what to do for the best as regards telling my DS and DIL and whether to reinforce my own disappointment by not cooking him his favourite meal, at my house, on this occasion.
All and any thoughts gratefully received.
grandmaz Fri 08-Nov-19 09:04:13
Oopsminty Fri 08-Nov-19 09:07:09
Lona Fri 08-Nov-19 09:09:22
Septimia Fri 08-Nov-19 09:11:32
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Bridgeit Fri 08-Nov-19 09:23:46
Davidhs Fri 08-Nov-19 09:24:58
Gonegirl Fri 08-Nov-19 09:32:24
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gmarie Fri 08-Nov-19 09:46:14
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trisher Fri 08-Nov-19 09:55:21
Luckygirl Fri 08-Nov-19 09:55:38
Gonegirl Fri 08-Nov-19 09:58:52
Persistentdonor Fri 08-Nov-19 09:58:59
grandmaz Fri 08-Nov-19 10:00:50
EthelJ Fri 08-Nov-19 10:55:35
LuckyFour Fri 08-Nov-19 10:56:28
TrendyNannie6 Fri 08-Nov-19 11:04:46
jaylucy Fri 08-Nov-19 11:09:55
sunnydayindorset Fri 08-Nov-19 11:11:12
trisher Fri 08-Nov-19 11:16:51
FC61 Fri 08-Nov-19 11:20:32