Ungrateful family

Concentrate on when they have all gone, it is something lovely to look forward to, keep telling yourself, this is not forever and help in any way you can to get them all out.

Grandchildren should have arrived before our children,hahahahaha. I'd have been happy with that.

You sound too exhausted to challenge them today. We don't know how you got to this point so any thoughts can only be generalised. Is there a friend close by you can talk to and perhaps escape to sometimes? I do think adult children have a tendency to turn into truculent teenagers at times and yes, expect Mum to do what she always has. Its time for an honest chat, yes you love them but you're exhausted and need them to pull their weight as any adult should. No, they aren't 'helping' they are adults sharing in the production of a meal or day to day chores if sharing your home. Perhaps get through today, have a chat with your partner, find out if he is as tired of it as you are today. Have a chat with your family when you aren't feeling so stressed, plan what you will say and stay calm if you can. If you ask for specifics and they don't happen then best have a clear plan about what happens next. Good luck, I hope venting has made a difference today. There's always someone here who will listen.

You need to sit them down, and calmly, but firmly- tell them how you feel and how you expect them to help out- and that you will NOT be a doormat or a squivvy- mean it, and stick to it.

hugs so so hard.

You could just drop everything and bugger off for the rest of the day, but where would you go on a bleak November day? And anyway, you need to enjoy your portion of the meal.

What a nightmare. You might as well get on and dish the meal up today, but afterwards say you have a headache and go to your bedroom and lie down with a book or the radio. Say you would appreciate a cup of tea being brought up.

Then later on this afternoon, after you have rested. have a word with the lot of them. Tell them it's all too much.

And do NOTHING for the dog!

Tell someone else to cook.

"Look. I'm happy to have you all here, but please. This is my home and I'm trying to cook you all a nice meal. It's very hard to be criticised all the time when I'm trying so hard to support you all"

People can only take what liberties you allow them to.

Being supportive doesn't mean being a martyr.

I'd take myself off out for the day and leave them to fend for their adult selves.

Easier said than done Septimia which I'm sure you know. The liberties our AC take are horrendous aren't they.
Are you generally getting support from your partner Xrgran - if he is normally supportive it could be that he is grumpy because he is as sick of it as you?
You sound completely resigned and deflated.
Perhaps you and your partner could join forces and tell them all that you want your home back and that they should find else somewhere to live. Give them a sensible time scale but stress they have to stand independently - but I do know (sadly from experience ) that telling them that is not easy. It is not acceptable for you to suffer financially - they are adults!
I wish you luck and hope it can be solved.
Please don't be unhappy at having a grandchild - they are a gift, but I know what you mean!

I think I'd move out if I were you, Xrgran

Perhaps you should just tell them that, although you are willing to help and that you care about them, at the moment you are feeling very put upon.