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Son recently separated from controlling wife

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Party4 Mon 30-Dec-19 11:14:22

Came as relief when they split as he was on verge of breakdown and at point where he couldnt make decision about anything.Struggled as wanted to do best for 2 sons aged 3 and 5.He has found and made a small home (with family rallying round as left with nothing) but his wife is still making life so difficult.His access is on her terms and due to work he cannot really offer more(already takes school x3 and works through lunchbreak)She sends boys inappropriately dressed for weather/outing and even though she knows he is attending functions they arrive in old small fitting clothes,family have sent clothes for bdays and Xmas.Over the hols they have come exhausted due to staying up all hours(she doesnt believe in bed times)so havent been their happy selfs and in fact we have had to coax them to have a sleep.Last night he was go to try and settle them down early and they have slept til 10a.m so hopefully the family outing this p.m. will be a happy one.I realise it will be killing her not being in full control whilst he has them but she continues to control his and our special days with them.There is always a nasty comment when he collects or drops them.The decision to separate was hers and he was in bits but she is still controlling all our lives.

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Yennifer Mon 13-Jan-20 16:59:21

Just remember he isn't babysitting! He is parenting, so some of this stuff he is responsible too. If they don't communicate properly, a contact book can work quite well, just a cheap diary of notes and dates and important info

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Party4 Tue 14-Jan-20 08:49:41

I agree and a brilliant job he is doing and always has.

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ToniSH Tue 14-Jan-20 09:08:07

Have to say your son sounds pretty great! He's doing the best he can with a manipulative women. She might stop being so malicious once she realises that it's not getting to him and it's only spoiling things for the children.
It will settle down eventually, but in the meantime, he's definitely giving them the stability they need. Similar thing has just happened in my family with older kids. They eventually turned round and said they wanted to live with their dad!

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Sandmb Sat 14-Mar-20 13:20:44

Hi I totally agree he definately needs to formalise any arrangements but he could do it himself with tge aid of McKenzie friend. I just did this and I am now qualified I got access for my 5 grandchildren and it’s a lot cheaper and then you can get what you want and not what the lawyers want. Yes it’s daunting and I was scared but actually it wasn’t that bad but whatever way he definately needs to get it legal for the best interest of the children

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