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Grandparenting

Grandchild’s sex will be a surprise

(33 Posts)
DillytheGardener Sun 09-Feb-20 11:10:00

Like the title really, my Son and DIL are keeping the gender of their bub on the way a surprise and will find out at the birth what they will have.
Initially I was disappointed as I wanted to find out and buy some special heirloom pieces, but now I’m actually quite excited that we have to wait to know.
I’m crossing fingers for a girl as I had two boys, DIL and son also hoping for girl, but we all just excited for the new member of the family and hoping healthy and happy.
Is this a new trend? It was all pre birth gender reveals with my friends GC recently perhaps going back with old fashioned surprises now!
I asked dil what she wanted for baby in terms of outfits, and she said she doesn’t mind, baby can be a ‘mash up’ of everyone’s tastes! Her only request clothes be fire safe and natural materials. I’m babbling but I’m very excited!

Missfoodlove Sun 09-Feb-20 11:39:50

We bought our first grandchild a beautiful antique oak chair. It’s been so well used, no 2 is on the way to enjoy it soon.
Our daughter loves it and promised to keep it and pass it down the family.
So some gifts really are gender neutral!!!

Calendargirl Sun 09-Feb-20 11:45:20

Much nicer for it to be a surprise. Pregnant mums nowadays seem to know the sex, the probable birth weight, the day it’s likely to arrive. The nursery decorated in appropriate colours, the name chosen, the clothes bought....
By the time baby is born, not much to reveal really.

Esspee Sun 09-Feb-20 11:55:22

When in the hospital waiting room 9 years ago expecting the birth of my first granddaughter a father rushed in, his huge family stood to attention and the dad announced the sex of the baby to excited celebrations.

An hour or so later my son’s announcement that their daughter had been born and both mum and baby were well somehow did not have the same excitement factor.

I hope this is the start of a new trend Dilly.

Oopsminty Sun 09-Feb-20 11:58:08

I never wanted to know if I was having a boy or girl

My eldest daughter did find out

My son and his wife didn't want to be told

I think it's lovely to be a surprise!

Hithere Sun 09-Feb-20 12:28:54

Congrats, Dilly!

Being team green is exciting

Tangerine Sun 09-Feb-20 12:32:49

I think it's nice to have a surprise although I wouldn't have minded knowing beforehand. These days most people seem to know in advance.

It's personal preference, I suppose.

endlessstrife Sun 09-Feb-20 12:33:35

It’s common to find out the sex these days, for planning I think. I personally don’t like it, I love the surprise, and also, sometimes, they get it wrong!!

luluaugust Sun 09-Feb-20 12:39:16

The first two GC we didn't now the sex but the others we did, only left the names as a surprise, which some of them were.

BBbevan Sun 09-Feb-20 12:53:27

It was always a surprise when we had babies. 60s and 70s

MarchMom19 Sun 09-Feb-20 12:54:30

I found out the sex with my first (even though initially I said I wouldn’t). But we had a blood test done at 10 weeks to text for genetic abnormalities, so of course they can determine the sex through the test as well. When the doctor called to tell me everything looked good she said she knew the sex and asked if I wanted to know. I gave in and she told me.

I keep telling my husband that next time, I want to stay strong and not find out early. That’s one of the only true surprises you can get in life! I imagine finding out at the birth is an incredible experience.

JackyB Sun 09-Feb-20 13:03:32

My mother's last sentence, a few days before she died, when I told her that I was going to have another grandson, was that she didn't think it was right to know the sex before the baby was born.

Personally, I don't mind whether we know or not. You can't change it anyway, and there is still a tiny element of surprise. If they have seen it on the scan there is a small chance of a mistake.

JuliaM Sun 09-Feb-20 13:24:34

Sometimes l think they tell parents too much too soon. My youngest daughter had scan for viability with her youngest Daughter at just 8 weeks. They told her shewas expecting twins, and everything looked Ok. At the next scan at 12 weeks, one of the babies was no longer visible, and had been reabsorbed in what is known as a spontanious sterile abortion, natures way of dealing with a less than perfect foetus at a very early stage, although the other twin went on to be delivered at 36 weeks as a beautiful tiny baby girl, weighing 5lb 2oz.
My daughter to this day still mourns the baby that she lost, and wonders if it would have been a boy, as she now has three girls. Without that very early scan, she would have been totally unaware of a twin pregnancy, and spared the upset thoughts of the baby she lost and what they would have been like today.

NotAGran55 Sun 09-Feb-20 13:32:42

I didn’t want know the gender of my second child having had the first revealed after an amniocentesis test . However , at the 20 week scan it was very obvious indeed !!!

Maggiemaybe Sun 09-Feb-20 13:45:02

Firstly, congratulations, Dilly! flowers Each to their own of course, but I think it probably does add to the excitement not to know what you’re getting, at least for the first baby.

My DD1 is expecting our fifth grandchild, and as the others are all boys, she opted to find out whether she was bucking the trend. It’s another little boy. smile We’re all delighted (as we would have been whatever the outcome), the boys can’t wait to have another gang member, and at least DD knows she won’t have to buy much for the foreseeable future!

Grandma70s Sun 09-Feb-20 13:45:31

When I had my children in the early 1970s it wasn’t possible to know the sex. I’d have loved to know. I was desperate for a girl, and felt it would be a good idea to get the disappointment over early if it turned out to be a boy! In fact they both were boys, and I was initially disappointed, not a good feeling after what was, in the case of son member one, a pretty traumatic birth. It would have been much better to have been prepared. I have to add I got over the disappointment very quickly.

When it came to grandchildren, they didn’t want to know the sex! I couldn’t believe they had the chance and turned it down. First one was another boy, and I was disappointed all over again. Now he is ten, and I worship the ground he walks on - I am quite unreasonable about him.

Then came a girl. I thought my son was joking when he told me. Although she is seven now I still haven’t quite got used to the fact that I have a granddaughter.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Feb-20 15:06:23

There was no such thing as knowing the sex when I had babies late 60 s 70 s and no scam pictures either
I didn’t know the sex of any of my grandchildren either until they arrived I m not sure whether they knew or not but I don’t think they did
I don’t really get it ...why not know when it arrives.

GrannySomerset Sun 09-Feb-20 18:22:37

Sheer nosiness was what kept me pushing both times in the mid 1960s!

mcem Sun 09-Feb-20 18:28:57

DS and Dil didn't want to find out. My sister took the opportunity to run a family sweepstake (with the parents' approval)!
I was the proud winner, guessing gender and weight correctly.
My £30 winnings opened a bank account for him!

annsixty Sun 09-Feb-20 19:01:59

1965 and 1970, my S is actually 50 today, no scans, so nothing known.
The first time I did actually have worries about having a Down’s Syndrome baby for certain reasons.
I had a girl, perfect ( of course!)
I wanted another girl but got a boy second time, couldn’t have been happier and felt rather clever to have one of each.
My D didn’t want to know and I was happy with that decision.
My S’s partner only wanted to know with the 3rd as she had 2 boys and the third was a boy.
He is lovely of course.

Urmstongran Sun 09-Feb-20 19:26:38

Our daughter & son in law chose not to know, both occasions. It certainly adds to the excitement. They had a boy then a girl.
💙❤️

SueDonim Sun 09-Feb-20 22:30:59

We knew the sex of some of our GC but I must admit, it was more exciting when we didn’t know whether a boy or a girl was about to arrive in the family.

Locally to where I live, mothers aren’t told the sex of their baby at scans, after having had requests to abort babies of the ‘wrong’ sex. sad. The mother can have a private scan, of course, but the parents-to-be that I know of have been happy to wait to find out in the time-honoured fashion.

Bathsheba Mon 10-Feb-20 09:51:44

I knew someone who had 4 boys and so desperately wanted a little girl. With her fifth pregnancy, they were wild with excitement when the scan revealed their longed for girl. They went completely over the top, decorating the nursery in pink, buying dolls, a wardrobe full of girly clothes and so on. And naturally they had chosen their daughter's names, talking to her throughout the pregnancy.

She had another boy sad. Of course he was loved, but how sad to be so disappointed at a time when you should be so happy.

I'm sure if they'd chosen not to know, they would most likely have gone through the pregnancy preparing themselves for a boy (while hoping against hope, of course), and his arrival would not have been such a crushing blow for them.

Starlady Thu 13-Feb-20 04:45:51

Congratulations, Dilly! IDK if not wanting to know the sex is a new trend or not. Every once in a while I hear of a couple wanting to "be surprised," so maybe they are just that "one couple in a million," LOL!

There was no such thing when I was having my babies, unless you needed amnio. And I didn't worry about gender - whatever God gave me, etc. However, I would love to have known beforehand just for purposes of decorating the nursery, etc. LOL!

Starlady Thu 13-Feb-20 04:50:48

What a heartwrenching story, Julia! Poor DD! But I'm sure that early scan had its value. Just unfortunate that it had a negative side as well.

Grandma70s, glad your long awaited girl finally came even if in the form of a GD! And glad you adore GS, as well! In the end, IMO, they are all different no matter the sex, and all a lot of joy!