I don’t know what to do, I have 2 grandson’s, 6 years ago there dad physically abused them.

Additionally, I forgot to mention school. Make them aware of the situation. They have daily contact and may be able to refer the children for some form of emotional support. This will give them the opportunity to talk about their feelings and help them recover. Additionally, school have a duty of care and can record how the children are each day. When enough evidence is gathered agencies can have a multi purpose meeting where all agencies have input.

Thank you for your replies and suggestions and yes there is a lot more going on here than I can tell you, for reasons I can’t put on here.
I would love to put names and places, it’s illegal and I don’t want my grandsons suffering more than they are.

babzi I may be wrong but it sounds as if these are perhaps late teens grandsons as the poster says ‘social services are no longer involved as he’s not a child’ so presumable over 16 not an age you can take to Aand E if he doesn’t want to go
But it does sound as if this has gone on for a long time so I m amazed that the mum and children haven’t moved or put up more security there are buzzers your can have, there are restraining orders, there are locks and chains
They are not married so these things shouldn’t be so hard to obtain but it sounds as if it’s only when something happens is there a panic and then it goes quiet for a while and things settle down
If the mother has custody does the father have visitation rights set by the court they are usually quite strict and if abuse has been recorded they would have to be in a contact centre also if the boy is over 16 can’t he decide if he doesn’t want to see the man
He should not be able to get into the house it all sounds very lax
why has this family fallen through the net ?

Bibitty
I need to say how it is.
My Daughter is to scared to do anything.
She’s to frightened of the repercussions to our grandsons and herself.
I am the opposite to her, but she tells me not to say or do anything as it’s the grandsons and her who have to suffer.

BlueBelle
You are almost spot on.
With almost everything you have said
The eldest grandson does not see him and hasn’t for a while.
The SS are the ones who said that there dad has rights to see his children and they are fully aware of his violent history and abuse.
The first incident happened at there dads home
The second incident happened at there dads work place.
The last incident was at the Daughter’s home, when the door knocked she did not know who it was, she opened the door and he barged past her.

MadHatter3001 it sounds to me as if your daughter needs counselling to help her deal with this issue. She is still intimidated by this man and can't see a way out. Unfortunately her children are suffering because of that. If she won't seek help perhaps you can persuade your GSs to look for help and possibly if they are adults to remove themselves from the family home. It is very hard and I do know of women who have moved from one city to another to escape an abuser. That seems to be the only option sometimes particularly if the man involved has no respect for the law and does not fear prosecution.

I find your comments about SS saying that the father has a right to see his children hard to swallow. The children have a right to see their father but if they are old enough to refuse they cannot legally be made to see him.

Trisher
I have letters, emails and recordings that prove what I’m saying is true.
One grandson is under 16 and the other is over 16.

Teacheranne
We did send a complaint letter to the CEO of social services telling him everything and the one person we complained about.
He sent the letter to SS and the person who replied almost had the same name except they replaced the first letter of her first name with a D.

All
I can’t speak for other SS but ours seems to police themselves.
When we phoned them and asked who we send the complaints letter to, the receptionist would not give us the address until we told her who we were complaining about.

Firstly this does not sound like a truthful story. I am sorry to say this but it does not ring true to me that police, social services even the C.P.S are not taking this seriously. How old are these two children? What are the family doctor and the school saying as they will have a part to play and can offer much support surely they know what is going on.
In regard of a restraining order that is exactly what your daughter should get in place. Also the police can offer a panic button technology for the house with grilled front door and perhaps back door so when the husband turns up she just presses the panic button and they come out.
Your daughter should be seriously protecting her children, and sorry she knows his history so why did she even answer the door to him? If this is a true post then it is horrible but your daughter needs to toughen up and be strong for her children.

3nanny6
I wish it wasn’t a truthful story, but it is the police wanted to take the second incident further but the CPS dropped the case after the report from SS.
I’ve put there round about ages on the reply to Trisher.
When the first incident happened the schools were very supportive.
We didn’t know that the police could fit panic buttons, that is something we will look into.
The daughter didn’t know who was at the door when she answered it. He is not her husband they aren’t married.

All
Thank you for all your replies
This story is true, we are living through it.
Until you go through this you can’t imagine what it’s like.
I just wanted advice on what we can and should do about it.
I knew when I put this on here there would be doubters but you must understand that I don’t make things up I don’t write fiction and I don’t know what to do.

Hi MadHatter, Yes domestic abuse /violence is horrible.
I expect with the schools off at the moment because of the Covid 19 they cannot do much to help right now.

Social Services should be more supportive.
I think in one post you said your D is terrified to do anything.
That is understandable but it is more to your daughter to toughen up her attitude for the sake of her children. It would be for your D to tell the police how terrified she and also the children are within their own home and say how the (partner) is an abusive bully. The police can fit panic buttons
and metal grills but it is something that your daughter has to ask and enquire about she needs to take a stand you cannot
do it all for her.

3nanny6
I wish I could do more for her but all I can do at the moment
is get as much advice as I can.
He is no longer her partner and he hasn’t been for quite a while he is in a relationship.
He hasn’t only physically abused them he’s mentally abused them and I think he still is.
Yes she does need to take a stand but I think she’s been ground down and in a rut.
He thinks he’s something and that people should be afraid of him.
He’s very good at intimidation and manipulation.

MadHatter3001 Your local council which supervises the Social Services dept must have a complaints procedure. It should be possible to find out about this on their website. You should send them a complaint immediately. You should also be able to find on the website the name of the Director. Usually now this is known as Children's services. You could copy that person into your complaint. I suggest you also look at your local councillor and e-mail them. If as you say there is writen proof you should be able to get something done. I also suggest your GS write a letter saying they do not wish to have any contact with their father.

The complaint procedure states you have to write to the CEO of the local council.
Which we did and he passed it straight back to SS for them to deal with as a formal complaint.
The findings of which stated they did nothing wrong.
Tried local MP and they said it must be done through a formal complaint.
We just keep going round in a circle.
I told SS years ago that I was going to put what they said and the proof on the internet and they warned me if I did so I could be prosecuted.
I also told them that the Grandsons dad would do it again but to no avail.

Madhatter3001 I believe what you have written because I could have written along similar lines. Social Workers never face up to the fact that they did something wrong and if you dare to speak out they will retaliate. I have had 30 years of this because they were stupid enough to believe the tale spun by my ex, they were never honest enough to tell me the full story, and even when the whole truth came out that this was a ploy to gain access contrary to a Court Order refusing any access they could not face the fact that they had aided someone to break a court order which may even be a criminal offence in itself.
As well as that in 30 years they have failed to assist a person who later died. They failed to accept that children were being beaten up until it was almost fatal. They said there was nothing wrong with a person prior to that person having major surgery. Currently they say there is nothing wrong with a child and are making up stories as they go along.
I would have no faith in Social Services. They are the worst.

Sugarpufffairy
Can I private msg you please

If you have exhausted the complaints procedure of your local council you should refer the matter to the Local Government Ombudsman www.lgo.org.uk

Madhatter3001, Is the youngest grandson in touch with the teachers at his school regarding lessons. If so tell him to let his teacher know what is happening and tell them he is frightened. They can get a school counsellor to phone him or face time him and something may be sorted from there end. Counsellors are still on call even in the lockdown.

As part of my work, I often support victims of domestic abuse and I'm only too aware of the failings of Social Services.... I've seen it repeatedly over the year's. One case I can recall was horrendous and involved sexual abuse by a parent, there was medical evidence, a court case with a guilty verdict and social services still argued for the guilty individual to have access to the children.

I also wonder why your dd open the door, knowing how her ex is.

While I understand where she comes from- why put her son though another investigation again when authorities have done nothing in the past, it is key there are police reports so he can be punished by his crimes.

Does your dd have a lawyer? This screams restraining order.

Definitely see a solicitor for an injunction even if you have to sell something to raise the fees

I understand your daughter's inability to think straight. After all these years he's totally in her head and simply won't be able to think straight where he's concerned.

The same will go for the boys. Abuse of themselves and their mother is all they've ever known. They did the right thing and asked for help only to have it thrown back at them and they no doubt suffered more abuse as a result.

Sadly, as we discovered, the police are guided by social services so even though they believe that the abuse is taking place their hands are tied if social services says that it isn't.