Nightmare DIL

Since they’ve had my 3 grandchildren - says it all really. She did not have YOUR 3 grandchildren - she simply had her own babies.

There really is nothing in your list of complaints to take exception to.

I suspect GRANINCHARGE (!!!!) that your friend directed you to gransnet so that we could say what she fears to do.

Or it is simply a wind-up.

There is a difference between asking for "support" and expecting people to agree with you, Granincharge

And yes, Meryl streep you could be right, also note the thread title!

She does not sound at all like a nightmare DiL just one who maybe likes to keep herself to herself rather than recreate things you did with your family. Times have changed.How dare you put photos of the children on social media without consent and why say "obviously controlled by DiL" when reprimanded by your son? As for paying for your daughter's wedding, and not your son's DiL is right to be angry unless of course her parents paid for hers.

I can’t see anything unreasonable about any of the things you mention. Seems to me your DS and DiL have got their parenting act together nicely, and if you can’t live with the way they do things, you need to review your expectations.

If I was wrong in saying I think I’ve taken the time to reply to a wind up post then I apologise for that Granincharge

But otherwise I stand by what I said.

Your job as the parent is to raise your child into a decent human being. Your job as a grandparent is to hope you did a good enough job of being a parent. Not to make demands. Also dils always get the blame when shhh most of the time we take the lead from our husbands.

Oh dear. If this is a genuine post then I pity your DIL. They are her children, not yours. I can’t blame her for not wanting to go on holiday with your extended family. She married your son, not his extended family.

I have to say I am baffled by some of these replies. I was after some support but perhaps I have come to the wrong place. What is a reverse? I will try and think about them more but I still can’t help but feel I am being treated very unfairly as a grandmother

I have a feeling I’ve just taken the reply to a wind up post

There was a clue in the user name ?

My reply to the OP’s request for ‘Any advice?’ would probably be deleted by Gransnet!

Maybe the ops recycling bin need checking for empty bottles ?

Sorry Granincharge. There are a few points in your post that are making me side with your dil. First and foremost she didn’t give birth to your gc she gave birth to their children. I’m a gran of 4 and involved in their lives, lots of babysitting and sleepovers etc.

The alcohol while babysitting is a complete no no for me. I think your son and dil were perfectly justified in being annoyed even if it was only a couple of glasses.

If you were the sole adults in charge what would you do if one of the children needed medical attention eg taken to emergency GP or A&E? You would be over the limit for driving.

Yes certainly something........

welbeck

this is a reverse, right ?

It’s certainly...something.?

this is a reverse, right ?

Dear Granincharge your name says it all. You say since they've had my 3 grandchildren when actually they are their children. As others have said please re-read what you have written and think again about what you are asking. Their children their rules.

A few things stand out here. One is your online name, which says it all! You also say that "Since then they've had MY 3 grandchildren", and that you're counting the days till your daughter gives YOU more grandchildren. It seems that you see your grandchildren as YOUR property! Has it never occurred to you that your son's family may want to start some traditions of their own? Obviously not. It is not unreasonable, with three children, for the oldest to have a room of their own. You are only 90 minutes away, so if you can't stay for the night it's not the end of the world. I can see why your DIL has been forced into putting her foot down - so would I in her position!! I'm sorry but you sound thoroughly self-centred and controlling. Perhaps if you tried to consider their family as a unit instead of an extension of you and your husband, maybe they would soften a little. It's a shame, because your relationship with your grandchildren will suffer if you don't change your attitude and that would be so sad for them and for you.

Every day is a school holiday at the moment for pupils of a certain age

You’ll need to take a massive step back on this Granincharge, because you’re not in charge where they, or any other of your offspring is concerned.

They do things their way and you need to accept that with a smile and possibly be granted more or it could lead to an awful lot less than you get now - and then you’ll really have something to whine about!

I think the very hot weather and too much time has a lot to do with it ......

We aren’t allowed to say what we think about this post are we ?

Words fail me and that doesn’t often happen

Hazbeen

And by the way not hugging was NOT your DILs rule it was for the good of us all by the government. We have all missed cuddles from our grandkids.