grandchildren overseas

I haven't had this experience, but have seen it for my parents-in-law as one of their sons emigrated, and has since had 2 children who they didn't know very much (they're now gone and the grandchildren are in their 30's); they didn't have the same relationship with those children as the others (how could they??) I'm afraid that if our children emigrate abroad, they cannot expect us to have the same relationship with their children - it's made impossible by the choice they made and it's expecting to have everything. Also, they escape any of the helping or caring of parents (either side) and escaped all those responsibilities. My SIL had to give up a full time job to care for them. Of course, she was left a larger portion of their parents' estate to compensate her loss of work pension, but her brother has never stopped moaning about it ever since!

I have 2 grandchildren that live nearby and I care for them daily by going to their home. I am tired but I am very close to them. I have 3 grandchildren ranging in age from 3 to 18 in a province that is in lockdown here in Canada and I have not seen them in some time. It was just before I would have made a trip to visit that we went into lockdown so last night I was speaking to my youngest there and she called me by my first name instead of "Gram" which I go by. I also have never felt as close to them as they have never lived nearby and I have never provided any ongoing care for them like I do the ones near me. It is sad but I think it is only natural on both sides.

My son, his wife and 2 children aged 4 and 2 moved to Hong Kong for 3 years and have been in the Netherlands for 3 years. I was heartbroken when they left and though we saw them 2-3 times a year until this last year. gradually I have felt less close to them as we aren’t part of their everyday lives.

We have recently heard that they are returning to the U.K. at around Christmas time and will move back to their rented out house for the time being. I am so happy about this.

We have since had another DGD, now 2 who lives in the same town as us and we are immensely close to her.

I only have one DGD who lives in the US as do my two eldest DD’s.

Thanks to being able to visit several times while she was a baby/toddler, we have always had a very close bond made stronger by the three years DD2 and DGD lived here in Malta. I had more or less sole charge of her as her mum had to work.

I miss her now she’s back in the US, but we still FaceTime regularly, and I’ve been lucky enough to have visited regularly.

My own mum lived in Malta and was very close to our four children, but she used to make regular trips to visit her other seven grandchildren in the UK so had a wonderful relationship with them all.

I know what you mean red1, when you say you went through a grieving process. I don’t think I had ever cried as much as when my DD’s left, but it’s 15 years and 12 years since they went and I’m proud of them both for having made a life over there. I’ve also had some wonderful trips to visit which would not have happened had they stayed here. Covid has put the dampers on that for now, unfortunately.

My son and his girlfriend parted quite quickly, it was not a serious relationship, but everyone is on good terms. I would like to be closer to my gd from that relationship but I think casual affairs lead to distancing for relatives. (She lives with her now married mother 50 minutes away) I’m not being moralistic, just realistic.
I now think I should have made more effort to see her regularly but I had a health troubled husband and was career mad!
Anyway she’s coming over soon?

It took me months to.bond with my grandson and he lived five minutes away. He has over protect parents and we never even got to.hold him till he was months old. I have developed a bond now but there is talk of moving overseas which is upsetting me.

Of my 9 grandchildren, 3 live locally and 2 were born and live in Italy. The rest are scattered around England and Scotland. It is inevitable that I provide more childcare, days out and treats for the local ones but it doesn't mean that I love the others any less. Their turn comes when we are able to visit them or they come here. We treat them all the same for birthdays and Christmas and love them all to bits, wherever they happen to live.

I think my heart will break when son takes gd away for a year in another country. I feel a bit selfish now after reading all the posts as it’s only a year, but it will be so difficult.