Husband problem with grandchild

i have some sympathy with your husband.
it is his home too.
was this arrangement properly discussed and agreed by him, or was it just imposed on him.
also he is trying to recover from a broken hip, which may make him aware of his frailty esp in comparison with a lively energetic toddler.
this may also cause him anxiety, that he may be barrelled into or toppled even by an unaware child.

Notjustaprettyface I have some sympathy with your problem. When my daughter a baby her father very jealous of the time I spent with her. My situation at the time was not straight forward with many conflicting issues.

One day, I asked my H about his relationship with his father, who died before I arrived on the scene. His comment "I didn't know him - he was always working". Looking further into his family history, I discovered his paternal grandfather had died when my FIL three years of age. So when his own son, my H, arrived he had no idea how to respond. I cannot say it made life easier, but it at least explained why my husband had no understanding of what a husband and father to be.

Thanks for all the answers so far ; my husband can’t really take himself out much because he broke his hip 3 months ago and is still using a stick ( but can drive ) and also because of COVID as there isn’t any group going round here
He was not and is not a children’s person which hurts me because I am
I can take my grandson out and play with him in another room but isn’t that sad ?

Hello,
Was the child minding discussed properly with your husband before it happened?

If so, did you say "don't worry, I'll look after him" or similar?

You say his grandad wasn’t as bad with your own children, which kind of suggests he wasn’t brilliant either. Have I understood that right? Some men are just not switched on, to either their own children or grandchildren, but still love them. I know you’ve said you’ve talked to him...but is it in a confrontational way? You’ve threatened to leave. Do you mean the marriage...forever, or just that day with your grandson? I think you need to find a quiet time together, and bring it up slowly. What are you like together, when on your own? Sorry for questions, but maybe a bit more information would help.

Well if he has no interest in the baby the grandson won’t be interested in the granddad will he ?
Would it be better if you looked after him at your daughters home or can he (old misery) go out for the day
Difficult situation for you but I d ignore it he’s obviously jealous of your time, I d take the baby out or play with him in a different room and leave the reluctant grandad to his own devices

I think he deserves to give you an explanation of why he doesn't seem to want his grandchild around. There are some men (SiL was one of them) who seem turned off by young children and toddlers, but once the child starts speaking clearly and becoming a small person, then they come into their own.

Not that is any excuse for being rude!

notjustaprettyfae how odd that you cannot tell if your little grandson likes his grandfather! I knew from the facial expression & body language how pleased our baby DGC were to see grandad! What a sad scenario for you.

What a miserable old grandad! Can't he go out, if he's determined to be such a mean-spirited person around his own grandchild?

"I have threatened to leave , nothing seems to work"
This makes me wonder if he could be depressed

Does the child go up to him? Sometimes even the hardest heart can be melted when a tiny hand tries to hold yours
Just a thought - is your DH generally cheerful the rest of the time?

Oh dear, what a misery. I'd be telling your DD that her father is making your life a misery when the child's there and see what DD says. Do you think she'd have a word with him ?

Is the man ill or what ?

Don’t know , I think he is too young to say

It's a difficult situation Notjustaprettyface some men just get out of the habit of having small children around and resent their life and routines being disturbed. It is only one day a week so should not have been too much of a problem. Did you discuss the arrangements before they happened or was he presented with a fait accompli ? Perhaps you could appeal to his better nature and say you need some help with your grandson and that Grandad is a role model. If all else fails suggest he takes himself off for the day when you babysit.

He was not as bad with our own children

Does your grandson like seeing grandad? In our house grandad is the favourite with my youngest grandson.

How was he with your children when they were young?

Oh! What does your husband say when you have spoken to him about his lack of interest/ tolerance of his grandchild?
I get not everyone is keen on babies & toddlers but he could be more positive towards the little boy. Does he disapprove of your DD or her partner? All the men in our family enjoy the company of small people so hard to know how to respond!