Are they insensitive?

Antonio
‘The greater empathy could have come from the person who posted the photo!’

Wow! Just Wow!! It’s a photo. Of a little girl on her birthday. Enjoying her day. That was put on Instagram. For ALL friends & family to see. This had NOTHING to do with what DGD was wearing or who bought it or made it. This had to do with showing a happy little girl on her bday.

Will you also be upset if a photo is posted of your DGD on Christmas or Boxing Day, etc... with her wearing something else ?

Maybe your DGD hasn’t worn your gift yet. You said it wasn’t a bday gift. So WHY were you expecting her to wear it in a bday photo? Did the parents or child akcnowledge receipt of and thank you for the gift yet? That’s the only thing that should be expected, and would be rude if it didn’t happen.

This is why people start blocking people on Social Media. Or take down their own accounts. Social Media is for the person that owns the account! There should never be expectations for anyone else on what you post (or not post) on your own account. No one has any say or rights to wha this posted on any other account except their own.

i've had an idea.
how about some grannies who have the money, asking GC who/what is their favourite character/hero/job.
then granny sends away for an adult sized dressing-up costume and dons that for a selfie which is sent to GC and posted on her FB page for xmas.
super-gran is go ! woosh !

MayBee70, is it really a "stab in the heart" though? Seems like an overly dramatic way to describe seeing a photo on social media....??

I don’t think she meant that. It was just a momentary stab in the heart feeling she had when she saw the photo and she wanted to exorcise it by talking to people on here so she could move on. I’ve done the same myself.

So you expect that the child can’t be photographed in any other clothing unless she’s also wearing the one thing you made her? Do you see how unreasonable that is when it’s put to you that way? I think your torturing yourself unnecessarily over nonsense. Your DD owns more than one pair of pajamas. There are going to be times she is photographed in them. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t wear the ones you made as well. For all you know they are her favorite pair. But what if DD doesn’t like them and refuses to wear them? Sure that’s disappointing. But are you going to be upset with her about it?

Hithere I understood it to mean that the item took time and skill to make but that grannybuy was happy to do that because of love for the child.

I take your point and I don't think I would use the expression myself but I can see it being used in a positive way.

Grannybuy

"Labour of love" as an unreasonable burden on the child to recognize your skill.

It shifts the attention from the item and how it is received to her the recognition from your hard work- making it about you

I am a crafter - i get it may take 80 hours to crochet or knit a queen size blanket, not a life lesson

A life lesson would be you teaching the child how to make the item.

However, if a person asks me to do something for them or I I something for a present, I wrap it nicely and I say "I hope you like it"
I would not put the weight of my effort and labour on their shoulders

Winifred1 I thought of that one too but was not brave enough to say it ?

Yes, I don't quite understand this. You made her the suit and saw her in it; it wasn't for her birthday; then a couple of weeks later on Instagram there was a photo of her wearing shock horror something else.

I agree with previous posters though, that the horrible situation we're in can amplify our thoughts and feelings almost without our knowing it. Not meant to be patronising, either - it's a result of not having much else to think about. I find myself fruitlessly dwelling on things that have made me unhappy and really have to work to get out of it.

Spending too much time on Social Media and reading too much into it!

Antonia your DD obviously loves your knitting enough to ask you to knit a special onesie for your DGD, please do not fall down the rabbit hole of instagram and Facebook who knows why your DD chose the photo she did maybe it was a cheeky look or a smile on DGD face that led to the photo, but it doesn’t really matter does it what matters is that you are all healthy, all loved and all in touch

I recently crocheted an amigurumi doll family for DGD's seventh birthday. It took many hours. I told her that it was ' a labour of love ', and explained what that meant. Yesterday, I gave her a new school cardigan that I had just finished knitting, telling her that it was another labour of love. She understood, and nodded and smiled. Even if the child isn't made to wear the garment' it's good for he/she to know about the love, time and effort that went into the making. There's nothing wrong with ' life lessons ' at the appropriate time.

Tickledpink

When you’ve spent hours making or doing something for someone, anyone, you deserve some feedback, good or not so good! If you enjoy making and creating lovely things, it’s natural to want to make them for loved ones. But when you realise you’ve wasted your time, it is disappointing because you will always wonder why it wasn’t appreciated.

i can understand the feeling of disappointment, but it just seems silly to me to try to bend other people to fit our expectations. if it's not spontaneous, why force or pretend a reaction, what value has that.
when you realise you've wasted your time, it is a learning experience. to not do that again. or if we choose to do it, to abandon the expectation of gratitude. otherwise you are making your life more difficult. and in risk of taking on a martyr persona.

IMO you are being a bit precious about this. The child cannot wear the suit you made her all the time and photos are so spontaneous these days with phones at the ready. As I understand the suit was not specifically for her birthday so no need for her to be in the suit for her birthday photo.

It may seem trivial to some people but I can quite understand why Antonia felt hurt. As others said, perhaps on reflection she can see there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why her granddaughter was not wearing the sleepsuit she had so lovingly sewn.

Tickledpink

When you’ve spent hours making or doing something for someone, anyone, you deserve some feedback, good or not so good! If you enjoy making and creating lovely things, it’s natural to want to make them for loved ones. But when you realise you’ve wasted your time, it is disappointing because you will always wonder why it wasn’t appreciated.

But she’s seen the child wearing the pjs

Just not in the Instagram photo

I don't think a child not wearing something in one photo means the gift isn't appreciated. That's quite a leap to make. They can only wear one thing at a time. What a dilemma if you received two items of clothing for a birthday.

When you’ve spent hours making or doing something for someone, anyone, you deserve some feedback, good or not so good! If you enjoy making and creating lovely things, it’s natural to want to make them for loved ones. But when you realise you’ve wasted your time, it is disappointing because you will always wonder why it wasn’t appreciated.

kircubbin2000, all new clothes are washed before being worn here - wherever they're from.

We have allergies to fabric starches, and anyway, many clothes and materials are made and stored in filthy conditions, handled by many people etc.

Antonia - I think you’re probably right about it being in the wash, I’m glad you saw your GD wearing the fruits of your labour! I also get the whole issue now of just being a bit rankled. I hope having a vent on here helped you! All the best

kircubbin2000

Ocean mama. Why would you wash new clothes?

Because there are often residual dyes in the fabric and new clothes can sometimes be treated with chemicals. Everything gets washed before they are worn to at least go some way towards removing these.

My much loved MiL said she would knit a sweater for DS when he was about 6. We had a long discussion about colour and style, envelope neck (DS had a big head) and in an old gold. Very nice, just what he needed

When it arrived, it was day glo orange and had a V neck - and hat and scarf to match! DS looked at it and went white A little later he whispered in my ear, 'Mummy will I have to wear it to school?'. I said 'No'. After DMiL went home it was put in a drawer.

The next time DMiL visited, DS said, shall I wear Grandma''s sweater, she will like it and no-one else will see me in it.' The scarf and hat were never worn.

When DGD was about 2 or 3, I knitted her a cotton yarn sun dress. It took me ages to complete and I proudly handed it over to DIL when it was finished but I never saw DGD wearing it. Months went by before I casually mentioned the dress. DIL showed me a photo they'd taken of DGD wearing what looked like a green and white striped suit of armour. The sheer weight of it was more than the poor mite could hold up; it buried her! We had a good laugh about it and I've stuck to jumpers and cardigans ever since. If they don't wear them, or find a use for them, that's fine. Don't sweat the small stuff Antonia.

I have knitted some beautiful cardigans and jumpers for my DGD when she was a baby. I have made a beautiful quilt for her. My DD never used any of the knitwear. That's ok. It's my DDs daughter not mine. As for the quilt well it's too small for her bed now. No problem. I know I made them and that it gave me happiness when I did.