my family is a mess and I don' know what to do

I m trying to get a picture of all this to come up with some ideas
Can you think about the relationship and see anything positive?
Is the baby loved and looked after? Is the house kept clean is the baby thriving? Is she played with ?
Do you go over once a fortnight to their place and see this conflict for yourself or does your son tell you all about it ?

You say none of them go out, do the men work ? You say your son is financially independent so I presume he is working when you say you support them what actually do you mean ?

I m sorry for all these questions but before you ring anyone you need to have all the facts at your fingertips, you need to be clear what you are asking for and what you are telling them

Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down bullet points of all your concerns I may be wrong but I get the impression you are being fed lots of negative information and moans over the phone and then are left thinking and imagining what’s happening with no one to talk it over with and you are understandable overwhelmed with concerns and fears whilst being on your own with no one to talk it over with

Good advice given on here keepingquiet. I have been helped by others on this site in the past and having a friendly ear is always useful to let off steam. I have a similar difficult new grandchild situation at present and have learned to try and back off mentally from situations I can't control. Not easy though. Stay as strong as you can but reach out when you need to.

You can also contact the Samaritans. They will listen to you about this type of problem. The issue does not need to be depression or suicide. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Good advice 're the NSPCC MissA, they're completely confidential and will offer support and advice or just a listening ear.

Thankyou Cornergran- I will try them tomorrow.

I think the tether ran out a long time ago!

I appreciate all the comments- thankyou.

It is more the dynamic and conflict between my son and the stepson, but I feel it is not good for the baby. I feel the tension is like a powder keg about to go off. The stepson is volatile and once threatened to stab me. I have no reason to believe the baby is being harmed in any way but how would I know that for sure? She is 7 months old and has hardly been outdoors.
Thankyou MissAdventure- I hadn't thought about the NSPCC.

Keepingquiet you sound at the end of your tether.

I can’t help myself but I know support would be available from the NSPCC. The helpline is 0808 800 5000, open from 9am to 6pm st the weekend, longer in the week or you can email [email protected]

There's an adult stepson, too.

Right just seen your last post and there is a stepson so what age?
Are they harming the baby, neglecting her, using drugs drink around her ??

I understand your worry about it all.
I think you can ring the nspcc for advice without divulging anyone's details.

Or there will probably be helplines with advice on more specific issues.

What is your son doing that’s worrying you so much is he harming the baby ?
You speak of your son, daughter in law and baby but then say the four of them are all shut in together who is the fourth person?

MissAdventure

Is your son part of the problem?
I'm wondering in what context he's telling you things.

Yes he is, and the baby's mum- and the adult step son, and Covid. It is all a mess.

My relationship with my son is very strained. He sort of opened up on the phone tonight but I only get half a story. If things haven't settled down by Monday I may ring social services but I'm not sure they will just dismiss my concerns. Everyone is busy I'm not sure anyone will be bothered in the present situation. They have had no support since the baby was born.

Is your son part of the problem?
I'm wondering in what context he's telling you things.

I have been on other forums but not ones for grandparents- there really isn't much out there.
Doing my own things does help but this is more serious.

Thankyou- there is a wait for a GP appointment and what would I say? I'm not ill thank goodness. All support groups/lines are closed at weekends which is why I came here.

No I have no one I can talk to which is why I came here

It's the weekend- there is always trouble at weekends.

you say you only see them once a fortnight and that your son tells you whats going on! Is that when you are seeing them or on the phone between seeing them

You are not able to fix their problems.

I agree that if your gd is in real danger, contact the authorities

There is not enough info to give better feedback

Keepingquiet Could you just tell us about yourself for a while?
You clearly have internet access, do you speak to others on a different forum?
Do you like books or craft?

Maybe some worry can be alleviate for a short while by concentrating on something else for a bit?

Are you worried about the way they are looking after the baby or are you concerned because they re not going out and are they not going out because they are scared of CoviD
There’s not much to say without knowing what you are worrying about

Of course different people have different advice, so you will get a variety here.

I get the feeling you are really worried and think the problems concerning your baby granddaughter are of the 'important' type.

Naturally you dont want to disclose too much, so do you think you could talk to your GP about how you are coping and ask for advice on support organisations you could ring?
It seems to me you need a safe place to air your worries and get some overview of them.
Not necessarily that you feel you have to do anything for the time being.
Just to get a grasp of whats happening and how to understand how you need to proceed?

I'm not in your position, exactly but families are complicated things to negotiate sometimes, and I know about that!

I also know how it feels to be unsure and afraid of the future, and I'm sorry you are feeling like that.

Some other GNet's may have much better advice, I hope they come along soon.

Sometimes that is all you can do keepingquiet just listen. Have you any friends you can phone or talk to on e-mail etc.
If you have serious concerns about the baby then you need to tell someone, a lot of families are finding it difficult to cope at the moment. Good luck.

I agree with Hetty58.
If you have concerns about the baby's welfare you must report that to Social Services.