AIBU to expect birthday cards?

I get cards from my children but never from my grandchildren. My children include the names of their children now all over the age of 21. My son also includes the names of his dogs and cat and various other animals he owns.
I sometimes get a greeting from one or two grandchildren on Whatsapp.

I always receive cards from close family and friends and actually it's me who tends to forget, especially when buying cards has become more challenging over the past year. I always post birthday wishes to Facebook family and friends and am happy to receive the same.
If someone feels coerced into sending a card out of duty, then the point of sending it is lost.

I would be hurt by this and I would definitely mention it. No excuse whether they are boys or girls they will be adults one day.

Greetings cards have become fetishised! Once upon a time, cards were sent when you were not in a position to speak to the recipient in person or on the phone. Also, at 12, 13 and 16, kids still rely on parents for these things - oh, and they're boys. How many men are entirely independent in card/gift purchase? Not many! Don't read anything into it.

Again - young people now don't see the point of cards or do them. Did they phone, text, message or anything? I would have hoped for a quick text at least. Unless their parents just forgot to add their names to the card?

Young people don't seem to bother now. They are constantly on their phones all day long so could of phoned to wish you a happy birthday never mind buying you a card.

When sons were younger I used to have to nag for a couple of weeks before they got round to buying, writing and sending birthday cards. Now, long left home, I still have to issue reminders as dates approach. They’d be upset if they didn’t get cards

NemosMum

Greetings cards have become fetishised! Once upon a time, cards were sent when you were not in a position to speak to the recipient in person or on the phone. Also, at 12, 13 and 16, kids still rely on parents for these things - oh, and they're boys. How many men are entirely independent in card/gift purchase? Not many! Don't read anything into it.

Exactly.

If you lived more than walking distance away and had no transport, or didn't have a telephone, or were otherwise unable to contact someone on their birthday, then cards were a way of reminding people that they were remembered.

Nowadays, with family WhatsApp groups, Skype, Zoom, FaceTime, text, or just phone calls, there is just no need, and until the blackmail of 'send one to X or s/he will be upset' stops, it will be difficult for people to exercise their right to Just Say No.

Def wouldn’t expect boys to remember ! Girls possibly but the younger generation aren’t like us when it comes to remembering birthdays etc.

Cards/not cards cause SO much trouble and anxiety, not to mention waste, I really wish they didn't exist.

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In the Grand Scheme of things, expecting birthdays cards is a bit petty when people have other, bigger, things to cope with. Apologies for being harsh, but when so many others have lost vital bill paying, mortgage paying incomes, etc. Birthday cards seem like an unnecessary extravagance.

I don't think it's the receiving of a card, I think it's just knowing you are thought of.

I do get cards from teenage GSS but probably they have been leant on by their mum, my DD.
I have no problem with virtual cards and always use them for overseas friends.

I like cards and am happy to send and receive them and I know that to several of my older friends receiving a card or letter has really made their day brighter. If you begrudge it don’t send one but if you know it would make someone happy then why not. To many it is not a waste of money but a sign that they are thought of. My grandchildren are very young so they delight in making cards and watching their family open them, sometimes on Zoom, but as they get older I guess the boy will not until he gets a girl to remember for him. Although to be fair my son never forgot to send me a card.

If cards aren't sent, they can't be used as weapons. This year on Mother's Day, I got a message to say my grandaughter was not sending a card this year as she was on strike. The fact that I had upset her mother, of course, had nothing to do with it! Quite frankly, the message from my son on WhatsApp telling me he was thinking of me was all I needed anyway.
My daughter has stopped sending cards which was the only time she ever sent something with a heartfelt sentiment on it as she was always very careful with language and truth. It is sad but it isn't meant personally, just a case of saving money and the environment.
I am happy with a message, it is the thought that counts.

My mother used to buy and send cards for my brother when he was 40!

I always remind my 20s children about their grandparents’ birthdays and then one of them organises a card from all three. Mum is always amazed that they’ve “remembered” !

Why is it expected that grandchildren send 'mothers day' [should be Mothering Sunday] cards to grandmothers?

Thank you all very much for your mixed opinions. It seems, overall, that maybe I’m expecting too much from adolescent grandsons so will try not to read anything into it. You’re right, I did get a text message from one of them but appreciate we live in a different world now so have reached a level of acceptance. Thanks again for taking the time to reply.x

Cards are not something the younger generation set store by these days.
Personally I am more concerned by acknowledgment. So a call, an email, anything really does me.

Mum should have bought an extra card and got them to sign it. But I think you are being unrealistic expecting teenagers to send cards you without a bribe. My husband says card shops would close tomorrow if they relied on men to send cards.

Think you're totally normal to hope for a card/cards but to 'expect' one? Not for me.

It's the prompts from parents that keep it going. We oldies still stick to traditions.
One DD always sends cards and presents and her DD usually makes one or writes one, my other DD sends one herself and the GC write on the bottom. Though it is often hinted that it is outmoded and not needed. My DH has suggested we forget hers and see what happens

It does not for a single second mean that they don't love you.
We might feel a bit more sensitive due to long parting during the lockdown, but things like thank you letters seem to disappear when they get beyond 8 years old up until which they have been instructed and supervised. Birthdays go the same way, they love you but they are the stars of their own lives for a while and grandparents are 'just there' (until they aren't). Too much time makes us over-think these things.