Age 16, and can't be asked!

MerylStreep

I think I’d more concerned if my 16 yr old granddaughter preferred her grandparents company to her friends ?

Me too. Although mine are younger so I will wait and see ?

And even if they do come they may be texting their friends.
They've had a most unusual year and need to get back to some kind of normality.

Absolutely.

I never understand the pain and anguish people put themselves through over cards. Who sends them, who forgets, who thanks them for sending them, and all the guilt-tripping that goes on over a bit of commercially produced card benefits nobody but the card-producers and sellers.

Some people like sending them and others don't - whether you get 100 cards or none, it is not personal, it just reflects the number of card-senders you have in your friends and family group. A lot of young people see them as bad for the environment and a waste of money.

Why would anyone consider stopping sending cards to their grandchildren to retaliate for not getting them back? If you believe that cards are necessary, then send them. If you see them as a means of getting one back, and that hasn't happened, then don't. It feels a bit transactional to me, but each to her own.

oldmum You are exactly right.

Geekesse wrote:

--"Send cards if you wish. Don’t send cards if you don’t wish. Be grateful of you get a card from someone, but don’t expect cards from anyone. They are just bits o"--
I agree about cards as things. However loike so much else they are also symbols .Cards symbolise "I feel kindly towards you" when an explicit, expensive, or heavy expression might embarrass the recipient.

Doodledog, regarding card sending you label me with egotistical intention.

I have introspected , and perhaps this is so. However please note I do also have helpful intentions towards any recipients of my cards.

They symbolise that to you, Alexa, but not necessarily to others.

I honestly think that cards are dying out now, and will become less and less important as time goes by, and people are thinking more about the environment at the same time as there are more options for keeping in touch (eg social media).

It is in the crossover between one way of doing things and the other that feelings get hurt, which is a shame, as I am sure that none is intended.

I agree Doodledog cards are a waste of paper resources which cost forests, mills, and printing ink to produce. Paper letters as well.

However I do believe that a general view of waste of resources reveals meat- eating ,and passenger air transport are miles worse than written good wishes.May I be excused minor infringements if I never buy or eat pork and never fly?

Give it time. In the circumstances now she can see her friends again it is entirely understandable.

Alexa

I agree Doodledog cards are a waste of paper resources which cost forests, mills, and printing ink to produce. Paper letters as well.

However I do believe that a general view of waste of resources reveals meat- eating ,and passenger air transport are miles worse than written good wishes.May I be excused minor infringements if I never buy or eat pork and never fly?

I am not saying that anyone should or shouldn't send cards (or eat meat or fly, for that matter ). I don't think that people should send or not send them based on their own or the recipients' carbon footprint, either - that way madness lies ?.

All I am saying is that sending them in the expectation of getting them back, particularly if your friends and family don't share your views about cards, is asking to be disappointed.

I think that it is such a shame when this escalates to a 'should I stop sending them to grandchildren who never reciprocate' situation which could potentially cause family rifts that are entirely unnecessary.

Perhaps we should try and behave as my Mother taught me, ‘treat other people as you would like to be treated’ note not as you are treated but how you would like to be treated. Not necessarily easy I know but worth a try.

The recipient of my card may feel happier for having been remembered by me.