Should I say something?

I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but wouldn’t be worried about it anyway. If he had a slight temperature it would be good for him to cool off and secondly the fresh air would do him good!

I think the saying when I was young was 'not to wrap a child up in cotton wool'. Fresh air is the best thing for a child...blows the germs away...hahaha

It is summer time and most youngsters want the freedom in warmer weather. Every generation has done this. We all want to remove clothes (or as many as we can without causing offence) during warmer weather, we just need a glimpse of sun. Stop worrying about nothing.

I am with us and would have said NIX

You just showed you care. This time of year it's not cold outside and fresh air is to be recommended. Parenting ideas change over time. I bite my tongue a lot!! ?

Slightly off piste here, but a similar situation. My GD has lovely hair which is often floating about loose and in front of her eyes. Even when tied up, there are still wisps flying about in her field of vision, which I think bothers her. It drives me mad. I did tell my son and dil about the problems it caused me as a child (nervous tic, etc) but they still continue to let it happen. I grit my teeth and say nothing but if GD is at our house, I find a couple of clips and pin it back out of her eyes. It is SO difficult not to make a comment, but as others have said, she’s their child, not mine.

I would probably have made light of it by jokingly saying how things have changed over the years and how we used to keep children indoors if they had a cold. That way you were saying what you were thinking but not telling them what to do

I would be more concerned about a child being outside and naked from the waist down than the fact that they have a cold to be honest. Alright, so the old was in the parents garden but that does not make it right, they could be overlooked, people have zoom lenses, drones etc and think nothing of taking photos of kiddies without clothes.

Accept that as the grandparent you can't do right for doing wrong! I always say nothing unless asked but there was once one situation where I'd said nothing but was told Well why didn't you say something!!! .

What you do with the grandchildren in your own home is up to you, but as you were in your son and DiL’s home you should say nothing. Their home, their business.

The issue here is not being old fashioned it’s being passive aggressive - the phrase “0h well you’re his parent” is just thst - it’s really saying - you’re wrong but it’s not my place to interfere but then you did just that - you snitched on him to his wife!! Forget the mild coughs and colds and going out just in a nappy - and give some thought to the method of communication and sustaining the relationship is my advice

I would probably have said, little Jonny’s playing out in the rain, shall I pop a t-shirt on him and then gone along with whatever answer

Today 12:15 H1954

I would be more concerned about a child being outside and naked from the waist down than the fact that they have a cold to be honest. Alright, so the old was in the parents garden but that does not make it right, they could be overlooked, people have zoom lenses, drones etc and think nothing of taking photos of kiddies without clothes.

Pleeeez Don’t look at the entire neigh hood as potential child molesters ! Kids should be able play in their own gardens buck naked if they like, especially so little ! Mine all played in paddling pools in our garden, with me sitting outside, when they were little often naked bar sunscreen and a sun hat !!

A cold is a viral infection. Getting cold and wet has no effect whatsoever on a virus. I’m in my 70s and have never heard of keeping children inside when they have a cold. I’m sorry, OP, but you need to keep your mouth zipped. Mine is zipped a lot with my DGC.

Kryptonite

You just showed you care. This time of year it's not cold outside and fresh air is to be recommended. Parenting ideas change over time. I bite my tongue a lot!! ?

Me too - constantly

When to say and not to say is so, so tricky.
When I hear what D and SIL say about his parents occasionally, I assume they discuss me the same way - i.e. if I say something to one of them it gets back to the other.

So if I think it's serious or important I say it quite bluntly (when I try to be diplomatic I'm told I just sound patronising) and then shut up. If not, I try to let it go. If I am not sure, I tend to say nothing or something non commital such as 'oh dear.'

Your post touches on something else - why do we beat ourselves up afterwards about what we have said or not said?

I agree with GreenLady102. He was probably happier out in the fresh air than cooped up indoors. Our kids played out in all weathers even if they had colds, in fact they very rarely had colds. Try not to mollycoddle him Edge26

If the Mummy sees the child outside and she wants to put clothes on him she will do it. Don't say anything .

I wouldn’t have said anything, it’s not your place to criticise your son and dil parenting, outside in freSh air is fine

At 13 months in the summer (even a chilly summer) he's ok to run around outside without a nappy or trousers - or even stark naked - cold or no cold. Bare bottoms are a good way to start potty training. If he was ill with the cold he'd be feeling under the weather and winging and not wanting to run around outside anyway. I don't think I'd have bothered to say anything. They have an older child so aren't parent novices.

I think you are risking backlash if you ask one parent, then ask the other when you don't like the answer. Your son has as much right to make the decision about how to treat his child as the child's mother so to pit them against each other is out of order.
There are different schools of thought about the fresh air with colds but it strikes me as being the healthier approach to take indicators from the child who is acting on instinct rather than pre-conceived ideas. I know from personal experience that when I was too ill to play outside, it was very obvious.

Whinging not winging!

Why are you ‘telling tales’ on your son to his wife? If he thought it was OK, then there is no more to be said. However, when you are looking after your grandsons it’s your house, your rules.

Whether you should or should not have said what you did, really depends on your relationship with your son and DIL.

Apparently your DIL agreed with you that the child should have some clothes on.

To me it sounds as if she is the main authority regarding the children and their care and that your son is okay with this.

We were allowed out play if we had colds, but kept in if we were running a temperature - however times change, so it is probably as well you didn't query him being allowed out to play.

I would have felt justified in saying the same as you, knowing full well that the response might be slightly huffy.

Yes I’d have said something about GC going out with no clothes if I’d have thought it was too cold but, dressed properly, would’ve been happy for him to get fresh air. And I agree I shouldn’t have said anything either - just can’t keep quiet! My AC and I have a deal - we can say what we think if it’s important, and the other doesn’t take offence, but equally they don’t have to take any notice.