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Grandparenting

Childcare

(15 Posts)
Edge26 Sun 12-Sept-21 17:04:11

Thank you for your replies. It is nice to know that you feel the same as I do and now I don't feel so bad .

Soozikinzi Sun 12-Sept-21 13:22:29

Definitely not selfish! You put your feet up and have some time to yourself. I do think it’s very noticeable how quickly the helping out gets taken for granted. But as others have said they soon get to school age .

Grandmabatty Sun 12-Sept-21 12:51:08

I look after my grandson two days a week. He is now two and a half and a typical toddler so I'm often knackered at the end of the day. Dd is expecting number two before Christmas. I am happy to look after them but it is tiring and I look forward to a Wednesday when I don't have to be grandma! However I look on the time with him as a gift. He will go to nursery next year and that wee lad who takes my hand and gives me kisses will change. So you shouldn't feel bad for enjoying your time to yourself but they aren't wee for long.

Audi10 Sun 12-Sept-21 12:31:49

No, not at all selfish, you deserve a rest, I think it’s perfectly natural to feel as you do, go and do something nice for yourself while they are away, and recharge your batteries when it all starts again, you are doing a great job, you sound a lovely lady Edge26 I hope the family appreciate you

Gwyneth Sun 12-Sept-21 12:26:53

Edge26 you deserve a life too so I would definitely book myself holidays and breaks. It is the parents’ responsibility to manage child care not yours. You shouldn’t feel guilty at all enjoy your week off!

Polarbear2 Sun 12-Sept-21 12:19:32

Absolutely not! As kindly as possible- They. Are. Not. Your. Children. It’s not your responsibility to find alternative childcare. If you don’t want to go away fine but please don’t restrict yourself. Life is too short. Btw above posters are right. It gets easier once oldest is in school. My 4yr old GD has just started and the days with her 2 yr old sister are much easier. I can now take her swimming and other activities which require one on one supervision. It’s a much calmer day for us both. Enjoy the time and stop worrying. Thanks bet they don’t worry about you! ?

Bungle Sun 12-Sept-21 12:13:59

I'm in a fairly similar situation. I have had my granddaughter for 2 days a week since my daughter went back to work she is now 3. They have just had another child so have 2 granddaughter s and will look after both on the 2 days once mat leave ends .
I tend to book short breaks avoiding those days or take them on holiday with us, so they have no child care issues.
I too find it tiring, but realise how much this helps them out.
You are definitely not being selfish. I too would look forward to the opportunity of a break. And would relish that free time, so enjoy it. You're already doing an amazing thing

Shelflife Sun 12-Sept-21 11:16:16

Do not feel guilty! Taking care of GC is very hard work. It seems our generation of GP are expected to do so much. Have your break ,much as we love our GC that are not our responsibility.
If your DIL s family are 25 miles away that is not far ! Perhaps they could step in and help somehow?
I too worry about what they would do if I was not available - but it really shouldn't be my worry. I have brought up three children and given them my all , love them dearly but they are well and truely adult now! So my Grandma duty is one day a week and I haven't done it during the pandemic. I love having GC but an very aware of not taking on more than I can cope with. Parents are not big earners and I know how difficult it is for them . Enjoy your break and relax ! It seems from your post that you are only getting the break because parents are going away. Please don't ever feel guilty about having a break even if you don't go away ! Your choice to have that break at home and your choice to have ( or not! ) your GC.
Your son and DIL lead busy lives and may not be aware of how you feel, they also forget we are getting older , in their minds we are still capable Mum !! Tell them how much you can take on . Perhaps one full day each week would be easier than two half days ? As they say in my original home of Yorkshire " set your stall out" and make it very clear how much childcare you can manage. If it becomes a chore it is sign you are doing too much. Good luck !

Bibbity Sun 12-Sept-21 11:05:34

Of course you're not selfish! You are doing a really incredible and selfless thing!

And you absolutely should go on holiday. Just give them notice and they will either have to make other arrangements or book their leave at the same time!

CafeAuLait Sun 12-Sept-21 10:07:23

Not selfish at all. It will be nice to have a quiet week to yourself. You also wouldn't be selfish if you did go on holiday. Childcare is for your GC's parents to sort out and not your responsibility. They should always have a plan B anyway. What if you were sick? You are completely fine here.

silverlining48 Sun 12-Sept-21 10:05:34

For not hot!

silverlining48 Sun 12-Sept-21 10:05:13

25 miles away isn’t far especially by car so no need to worry if you did want a holiday. The children’s care is not your responsibility it is for the parents to sort out. No need hot guilt, 2 afternoons is plenty. Enjoy your break this week,

Nonogran Sun 12-Sept-21 10:00:32

No you are not being selfish. It’s time to recharge your batteries & put them on the thought back burner for a while.
Enjoy the week! Sleep late, potter, coffee in the garden, go for a walk. It’s all good for your soul. Enjoy every minute. Switch off.

tanith Sun 12-Sept-21 09:58:35

Absolutely not looking after two youngsters isn’t easy and although young ones in my family are now Grt GC I made it clear I wouldn’t do regular childcare they go to nursery.
Look on the bright side the 4 yr old will soon be in nursery/ school and it will be easier til the younger one goes too. Please don’t deny yourself a break or holiday your family will manage for a week or two I’m sure.

Edge26 Sun 12-Sept-21 09:44:41

I look after my GS's 2 afternoons a week and have been doing this since my DILwent back to work in April, they are aged 15 months and 4yrs old. I must admit they can be hard work and am always shattered after I have took them home. I facetime as well on the days I don't see them if I am not busy. They are going away this week so I am having a break and must say am looking forward to this. I feel a bit guilty about feeling like this. I don't go on holiday( my choice) so unless they all go away I will always be looking after them all year round. If I did go on holiday I'm not sure what they would do about childcare as DIL's family live 25 miles away. Am I being selfish looking forward to not seeing them this week, thoughts please, thank you.