Wondered whether it's ok

Sometimes it suits everyone to have a routine and stick to it. Families are different - I've been surprised by parents who leave their children with grandparents or other relatives and head off on holidays by themselves.
However, this is just 1 day and 2 1/2 year olds don't have much patience!

I agree with those who say don't overthink this Bungle a toddler can be hard work on a day out. I'm sure she won't worry about not going and will have a much better time with her Grandma. I don't think going out to lunch is a favourite thing for a two year old to do. I'm with your daughter & son in law on this one.

I can completely understand this. They may be going out to a nice restaurant where a toddler would be bored. I'm sure they will have a birthday tea to include your GD after they pick her up and she'll be non the wiser!

Thanks for all the comments. I'll just make it a very nice day as usual for my GD. You're right she'll never know, just made me a bit sad

Well said missA just as I feel…. all or nothing
could no more leave my first born home and take the new one than fly through the air
Enjoy your time with her anyway bungle

I think it is an excellent idea. The little girl will be just as happy with Nana and mum and dad will be able to have a:quiet meal together and hopefully new baby will sleep through. Plus 2.5 years will not be overly interested in having a meal out. Let the young couple have a little quiet time together and mum can enjoy her birthday lunch in peace.

Hmmm..
Still interested to know if it is mum and dad or mum and stepdad.

Treating kids equally is not the same as treating them the same at all times.

I do know that.
A family day out without one member of the family, though?
Not for me.

I don’t see it as a family day out. Mum’s having a birthday treat but of course has to take the baby as it’s so small. There’s no suggestion that they don’t have proper family days out at other times but I just don’t see that that’s what this is supposed to be.

We'll have to agree to disagree then.
I think its mean.

Poor knackered Mum …

Bungle, I really wouldn't worry about this - I can imagine my daughter doing the same ! On the face of things it seems unfair to exclude the two year old , but from their point of view they are looking forward to time together and a quiet lunch. A toddler puts the kybosh on that ! and the little one will be non the wiser. You are doing a great job offering child care two days a week and continuing that while your daughter is on maternity leave- so well done ! I have always stuck one childcare day each week.

I think its a lovely idea!!
A grown up lunch on your birthday... just the 2 of them ...with (hopefully) a sleeping baby...
No disruption of the toddlers routine... maybe a bit of birthday cake when they all get home... or maybe you could make crispy cakes as a surprise with her?? Decorated with smarties?? Sprinkles??

Dont overthink it.... they need a wee break too. I am sure they will appreciate you all the more afterwards.

8 weeks?

They are probably going to have uninterrupted sex?

Ooh Peasblossom, not in the daytime surely????

MissA - rather than looking at it as a family day out, without one member, it's really a couple going out to lunch but having to bring baby as probably being breast fed.

Germanshepherdsmum

Ooh Peasblossom, not in the daytime surely????

Best time in my opinion?

I’m serious, really. It’s been a long abstinence and it’s not easy with a small child around to have a really romantic, uninhibited moment or two.

But you couldn’t tell your Mum. A meal sounds so much better.

I really don't agree though.
A 2.5 yr old would enjoy looking around garden centres and having lunch out.
Perhaps I'm just strange because I'm in a minority, but I think its mean.
A night out, both children looked after - no problem.
I also don't think that the little un not knowing makes it ok.

My husband took me out for my birthday one year, leaving the other kids at home but bringing the 6 week old baby. It was a wonderful break from the house, and as close as we could get to a date at the time.

Much easier to manage a tiny baby than wrangle a toddler for a meal. Baby slept the entire time.

I don't see what's mean or wrong about it. Chances are, the Mom is nursing, so can't easily leave baby.

Sure does Peasblossom, and the baby won’t grass on them!?

Is mum nursing?
Does nursing mean breast feeding?
At the risk of being proved wrong, I can't see any mention of that.

I love my 3 children so much. I still stare in amazement while my daughter is asleep next to me. My eldest is 7 and the youngest is 2. I honestly never thought I could experience such a deep love.

Saying that. My ideal birthday does not include them. Seeing them and getting to do the present opening, happy birthday etc and seeing them get all excited. Fine. And then I would love to have a meal with no problems or talk of whatever is going through their heads on repeat.

A newborn is obviously different as they are hard to ditch.

MissAdventure

I really don't agree though.
A 2.5 yr old would enjoy looking around garden centres and having lunch out.
Perhaps I'm just strange because I'm in a minority, but I think its mean.
A night out, both children looked after - no problem.
I also don't think that the little un not knowing makes it ok.

Yes. The 2.5 year old would probably love it! Love looking, talking and touching.

Which is why the parents probably don't want her there.

That's their prerogative, and yours to agree with them.
I don't though.