Son and Daugher-in-law hosting skills....

BlueBelle

Is this real !
As others have said he s yours

Just tell him to do a 'Johnson' BYOB

Maybe he hasn't the money for a lavish spread? Or just feels that he is happy spending time with people and not bothering about the food.
My ex brother in law used to invite us for barbecues and there was just enough meat to go round , one bowl of salad between about 8 plus bread. Another brother in law used to make sure that he ate before he went!
Or you could do like my mother in law did - just turn up with food for all !
Or why not just ask what you can take?

Maybe he is oblivious to it, you have not told him, you served the soft drinks and portioned the food so there was enough.

How would he know there is a problem.

Social skills are usually learned from parents I would have thought.
He’s your son so just spell it out, tell him he needs to provide bigger portions for guests. Don’t you take a bottle of something when you go there as that’s what most people do when invited to dinner, lunch, bbq’s, birthday parties etc.,. Just make sure when you tell him that he’s on his own as you don’t want DiL to hear you.?

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

M0nica

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

Thank you MOnica…..I did wonder what a “potluck” dinner was.

Where is his wife in all this, I know it is sexist but most women do take some interest in what goes on the table. In fact lets face it they usually do all the work whichever side of the family are turning up. Could it be the cost? Taking a starter or pud is quite common and usually very welcome.
I would be careful if you have word with him as it may be that his wife will suddenly take exception to you trying to sort out their household.

Lulu

Yes, very sexist.

I knew it was I never learn

Nightsky2

M0nica

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

Thank you MOnica…..I did wonder what a “potluck” dinner was.

In French we call it 'Souper Canadien' - very popular.

At least you get asked!
My son and his wife have been married 15 years and we've never been asked for a meal. Neither have her parents.

When invited to any family gathering I always say How Lovely and what can I bring. Have never been known to arrive empty handed and no offence ever taken.

My son is very similar(not togood socially) so whenever he invites me I offer to bring drinks and/or cake etc.

Next time ask what he'd like you to bring. Then you could ask what food he's serving. Ask if he has sorted drinks and snacks or could that be your contribution.

Just turn up with a few bottles, especially soft drinks if many are driving. A huge plate of sausage rolls and just say hope you don’t mind but needed to make room in my fridge and freezer.
Nobody offended and all fed and watered.
If it’s just a family dinner then ask what you can bring.
I really wouldn’t point out their lack of hosting skills, it may knock their confidence.

Next time he invites, say you didn’t think there was enough food/drink last time. And offer to bring something if he wants you to. And ask to be reimbursed.

Another name for pot luck is Jacobs join. Perhaps, as people say your son has not got a lot of money to spend on hosting friends but likes to have them round.

Whenever it’s one of my grandkids birthday I always turn up with cupcakes and something else so not too much pressure on the parents. One of my other daughter inlaw parents always come with homemade pies and soup. And my other daughter inlaw parents also turn up with sandwiches and drinks Have you ever thought he could have being skint and didn’t want to say or struggling with having ppl in the house with covid etc. I always ask when I’m invited are you ok for Money anything I can bring and always get no we fine or could you make such and such but I always do that and more but that’s me and I love to bake.

As previously mentioned, could it be money that's the problem? He might want to invite family for a special occassion but funds being low, can only afford a little. Have a word when you next see him, it's what mums do, no one else is in a situation to do it, only his mum. And if money is a problem, perhaps mum could help out a little? That's what I would do.

I think it is Pinkarolina is definitely right a pot luck invitation means that you bring something to the party/dinner as follows

Image result for invite to pot luck?

Please Join Us For Our Annual Office Potluck. Please sign up to bring a dish at ...........

I would have torn a strip off my mother, after the guests had gone, if she had gone around offering drinks, or anything else to my guests!

You say the selection of drinks was limited to what was in his pantry and that invited to take pot-luck you had to limit your portion size to make sure there was enough food to go round, and that they make the bare minimum.

Did it not dawn on you on either occasion that what they were offering was actually what they could afford to serve?

Unless you know that they are very well off, which does not sound likely to me, you say nothing at all.

Next time they invite you, you could ask if they would like you to bring anything, such as fruit for dessert.

Next time you get an invite you could perhaps say 'I've just made a fruit loaf
/sponge cake/buns/flapjacks (for example), shall I bring it along. If you haven't made one and he says yes that would be good, get cracking and make something quick.

What food there is is really not important. Seeing friends and family is far more important. Why worry about number of sandwiches on table. Oh and it is not right to take on the hosting in his house. Just my opinion of course...

LauraNorderr

Just turn up with a few bottles, especially soft drinks if many are driving. A huge plate of sausage rolls and just say hope you don’t mind but needed to make room in my fridge and freezer.
Nobody offended and all fed and watered.
If it’s just a family dinner then ask what you can bring.
I really wouldn’t point out their lack of hosting skills, it may knock their confidence.

I would do what Laura suggests and take some food and/or drinks and just say 'Thought you might like a few extras.'

Definitely don't mention their lack of food or social skills. You could offend your DIL and may not get another invite!

If your son is slow to offer drinks you could say lightly 'Can I help you out by offering drinks while you mingle?'

As others have said funds may be limited, or they may not be used to catering for more people than themselves. And many young people don't cater for guests in the way their parents did, they just enjoy their company and order in take-aways if food is needed.

As their little girl gets older and attends friend's parties they'll get a better idea of what is usually expected.

Enjoy your time with them, and if you're still hungry when you leave, stop at the chippie on the way home.

luluaugust

Where is his wife in all this, I know it is sexist but most women do take some interest in what goes on the table. In fact lets face it they usually do all the work whichever side of the family are turning up. Could it be the cost? Taking a starter or pud is quite common and usually very welcome.
I would be careful if you have word with him as it may be that his wife will suddenly take exception to you trying to sort out their household.

I was thinking exactly the same thing Lulu as regards being careful about having a word with the son. I have a super-sensitive DIL and a DS who immediately goes on the defensive at the slightest hint of criticism, to the extent it could quickly escalate into a row. I have a cousin who used to invite you to lunch and it would be a couple of slices of ham and a tiny bit of salad, we'd be starving, but we knew what to expect when we accepted the invite. It's not even a Mother's place to criticize her son's hospitality or indeed to feel embarrassed by it. Accept that's the way they are, is it such a big deal as to "need addressing"?