9 o’clock birthday invitation!

Anyway, in answer to the OPs original question about "project children" I think there is a happy medium between two extremes.

Children SHOULD be a focus in terms of their vulnerability, meeting their physical and emotional needs and supporting them as they develop and grow into hopefully well balanced and resilient adults. That focus can be achieved without completely ignoring the needs of others around them!

Regarding the party - I'm not really sure this is anything to do with "project children"! Its just what the parents think is best in this particular scenario for them and their children. If it was me I would go, enjoy it and leave when expected. But we are all different so each invited guest needs to decide for themselves whether the arrangements suit them or what their priorities are around attendance etc

It’s certainly an unusual time but it obviously fits in with them.
What I would say is that as a grandparent adult children may often behave with their children in ways you don’t like or approve of, but they are theirs at the end of the day.

I would make an effort to go, and if you cannot stay overnight beforehand, arrive when you can.

Children are tiny for such a short time and it’s nice to enjoy them before they get too old to bother so much about grandparents.

What does your husband think I wonder?

When you are the hostess of your own event, you set up the rules

If you are invited - you decide if the conditions are convenient for you

I cannot believe how many adults think a child's bday party should cater to the adults

I'd have to have a prior engagement.

queenofsaanich69

Must be a first child,wait till they have more,no schedules then !

Well that’s ridiculous

I know many of ny friends all had schedules for their children, even the 3rd.

It didn’t look the same as it did for number 1, but it was still a schedule

Missiseff

Tell them it's too early for you and you'll go after nap time

She wasn’t invited after nap time

Love the idea of a breakfast party; what a great way to start the day!
Hope you enjoy it - and then you have the rest of the day to recover.

What does your husband think as he IS their grandfather.
Are you perhaps being slightly unreasonable as you aren't their grandmother.

Does this interfere with your nap time?

Could you turn up in your pyjamas ready to nap with the Precious One?

Could you make this part of a “fun” day out for you both? This being just one stop off in your day?

What is meant by five quarters? I think some people have taken it to mean 1 hour and 15 minutes

I would just go when you're ready. He might like a 1 to 1 meet up with you.

What 9 am? Does the child nap for the rest of the day? I thought it was bad enough my DGC having their parties at 11 am, instead of 3pm!!

Must be a first child,wait till they have more,no schedules then !

Absolutely agree.... I despair of some of todays parenting!!
Children rule the roost - now when it comes to my dog....

Hej - that's about the total of my Danish! Please don't apologise for your excellent English.
I do wonder how long this child naps for - is there not a lunch / afternoon time that would suit more people?

Don’t understand snowflake parenting, children adapt. They should work around us not us them. My gosh my children were getting on flights at 1.30am, driving threw the night to visit relatives. Teach children to be versatile adapt to situations not every routine has to be stuck in stone.

The OP did not appear to me to be making any kind of fuss or even asking for advice on whether to go. All this other “implied” rubbish makes no sense.

Exactly!

"Napping is when your horse is reluctant or refuses to move in the direction you want to go. It can manifest itself in several ways, including spinning around, rearing, bucking and feeling as though he is leaning or hanging towards home. Ears are the giveaway."

Well, I didn't know that,

Breakfast/brunch parties are often a good idea I think, especially for early rising children. I wonder if they'd made it post-sleep starting at say five, whether the OP would then complain about getting back too late? A child who consistently needs a daytime sleep is likely to behave badly without it, which also sounds like it might prompt criticism?? Go with the flow is my advice, why does it matter so much? Yes. child-centred parenting can grate on those without children or grandchildren of the same age, but frankly i doubt that will concern the parents as much as feeling they are doing their best for their child does. It makes me think of many of the younger people I know who didn't invite any children to their weddings. Come a couple of years later and those same people were outraged that their precious newly hatched bundles weren't invited to similar occasions. Perhaps you'll be more giving to the world revolving around your own blood-related grandchildren, if you are lucky enough to have any? Neglect would concern me much more than focussing on giving a tiny tot of three a birthday party they will be in a state to enjoy.

Baggs

*Totally ridiculous who has a party at 9 am in the morning*

Nah. You obviously never went to champagne breakfasts on May morning in towns where there are thriving student Scottish Country Dance clubs. You start dancing at 0600. Breakfast comes after.

0900 is the middle of the day then ??

Indeed.
And it may be that the child normally wakes very early and 9am is the middle of the day for them too.

Maybe child-rearing panders too much to the child, in some cases, but I don't think the timing of this party is a big deal.

I would simply say it would be lovely to come and what room will you be staying in the night before so that you are there for the right time!! I do agree that it is not good for a child to think they are the centre of the universe, but this seems to be coming more from the parents. As a mother of a child who just never needed any sleep and thought 5am was fine to get up , I know how hard it is to look after overtired ratty grizzly child so see the point of having a morning party, but they should also be thinking of the wider family so that either they are suggesting you stay over night before, as it is a distance or they could book you into a b and b or if not perhaps organise another little get together for the older members of the family to coincide with the after nap time. But what I would not do would be to make a superhuman effort and wreck your own sleeping patterns etc to do this long drive and probably be too tired to enjoy it much!! It might be a shame to miss this birthday but hopefully there will be many more to come and opportunities to organise perhaps an outing half way between you both. But basically I do agree with you that a child is very important in a family but they are PART of the family not the centre lynch pin and I do not think the parents are giving them helpful ideas of how life works. Learning to give and take and be part of a group and considering others are very important lessons to learn and they will have a happier life the earlier they learn this, and I speak as a mother, grandmother, teacher and volunteer with many childrens things such as brownies etc.

Project Children!! You’ve gotta laugh….
everybody ‘put out’ because the napping needs of a child! I was the youngest of 6 kids ….. by the time I showed up my mum had three part time jobs, and spent her life running around like a headless chicken! By the time evening came she could barely remember the youngest two’s names!!
I do wonder what these precious little darlings will grow into. Definitely not independent ,industrious
and balanced individuals like me and my five siblings are.

This does seem over the top - surely it won't hurt for the child's napping routine to be missed on their birthday? I know somebody who has this type of approach to bringing up their children - they work out the time it will take for any journey and whether it is possible to do the journey to fit in with nap times. I certainly did not take this approach when my children were younger (they are 29, 18 and 16 now), our lives were not totally dictated by routines and they have all turned out perfectly well adjusted adults/young adults.

Parents if little children can crazy - but it’s their Party so I’d go ! Get there a little later if you feel you must…

I am Danish too, and I don't understand your reaction at all, as since the 1970s breakfast invitations to adults' birthdays have been quite common so that people could get to work on time.

I have been to many birthday breakfasts at 7 in the morning, so we could all get to work by 8.

I can however agree that project children as you call it has some peculiar dimensions these days, but this is hardly the best example you could find.

What is most important to you? Celebrating your grandchild's birthday? Or staying at home because leaving home at quarter past seven does not suit you for some reason?