9 o’clock birthday invitation!

I think if it is occasion that you would happily want to go to if it was at a more conventional time and / or you had less travelling time to factor in, then perhaps do go even it it means travelling down the previous day and staying in an Airbnb? In my experience working with new mums and mums with young children, sleep issues have become a major issue for many rightly or wrongly, as there seems to be pressure to aim for "sleeping through" at night - which when that isn't happening leads to rigid sleep training including scheduled daytime naps. If the schedule is "broken" then an anxious mum will blame herself and add to what may already be considerable post-natal anxiety. Children aged 3-4 are lockdown babies and they and their mums have often found that social isolation very difficult and there honestly are ongoing maternal anxiety issues for many mums of little ones of this age group - whether the mum has made that common knowledge or not. So I think "Project children" as you name it, may well be very different now as families come out of lockdown etc etc.

Hithere. Yes, Dubai airport is beautiful, but I dread the thought of such a long gap between flights. We are going to book into the lounge, where we can get something to eat and a comfortable place to sit. Instead of arriving in Perth at a comfortable time we will be landing around midnight. Not a good time for any of us, but I hope to survive the experience. Only a 2 hour layover coming back on my own, thank heavens.

I do think nine o’clock in the morning is a very early hour and would be inconvenient for many, especially people who don’t live nearby. It is not just the travelling time. There is getting, washed, dressed, eating and drinking something before travelling and so on. Some people may be used to getting up very early but it could be very demanding for some, especially older relatives who may not be very well. Everyone has a routine. But this obviously fits well into the child/parents routine and they are the party givers. If I was going to go an hour late, I would probably explain beforehand that it was a little difficult for me to get there for nine and would this be OK as I would really love to see them and the little one. I would hope they would not be annoyed but would understand. Love and care should go both ways in families. From you to them and from them to you. That is the best thing for everybody.

No no no No.

That’s much too early for a birthday party.
What are they thinking of.

If I were you I would decline the invitation.

For me, after the last couple of years and health issues within our family, opportunities to all be together to celebrate something nice are far and few between and I would make the effort.
But I am not you, so ask youself, "Do I want to be part of the celebration" If the answer is yes I wonder could you stay overnight somewhere to avoid a long journey. If you decide not to, then I'm sure a 3 yr old won't mind.

Could the reaction of the OP be a reflection of the relationship with the host/hostess?

Count yourself lucky to be invited to a grandchild's birthday. Not all grandparents are!?

My kids are up by 5.30 am max, including weekends.

A 9 am, they have had breakfast and a snack so a social engagement is perfect for that timeline, they would be asking us to do some activity by then

3 year olds still take naps in daycares here

As a parents, I would not be changing my kids' routines for the convenience of an adult - after all, that adult goes home happily and the parents have to deal with the consequences

Would you get somewhere for 9am if it was for work?
If so, you have answered your own question.

I've gone through the same thing .

Everything has to be geared around my grandchildrens' nap time .

I've found my children really nervous and tense about their childrens' regimes .

I was far more relaxed .

Greengran
Offtopic: Dubai airport is amazing! If you have an 8 hour layover, that is the best airport to have it

I don't think that getting up early on one morning to join in a child's birthday party would be such a big deal, unless you have health or mobility problems. The world does tend to revolve around children much more that it did when we were young, but we partook in very few social events, compared to the present day.
To put it in perspective I am going to Australia to celebrate my Grandson's 2nd birthday. It involves a 7 hour and 11 hour flight. Our 'stopover in Dubai has also been changed from 2 hours to 8 hours. A daunting journey, especially at my age, but it will be worth every dreary moment when I get my first hug.

How many 3 year old still nap during the day? Is the child up early at 5 am and goes for a nap mid morning. Usually for a birthday normal routines are abandoned for children. A party at 9 am, goodness, think I would either be visiting the day before or leaving it until later in the day when situation could be quieter.

It sertainly wouldn't be about the OP or her opinions about child rearing.

And of course a three year old's birthday party is "all about the child". Who else would it be about?

CleoPanda

The OP did not appear to me to be making any kind of fuss or even asking for advice on whether to go. All this other “implied” rubbish makes no sense.
She was clearly asking for opinions on today’s often totally child centred obsession.
As others have commented, a child who is totally cosseted and protected against any kind of disruption can grow up thinking they are the centre of the universe …to their detriment.
Or not… who knows.
It seems to me to be inconsiderate to anyone who has to travel and I wouldn’t be going as I’m terrible at early trips. That’s my opinion.
No idea what a 9am “party” for a 3 year old consists of these days. However if there is any sugar involved there won’t be any children napping!

But the OP did not give any examples of the cosseting and protecting. She just complained about it and wittered on about how difficult 0900 was for someone living an hour and a quarter away.

I'd love to know what "curling parents" means.

Cleo I was going to say the same but you have put it very well.
It wasn’t the party as much as today’s child centred obsession.

The OP did not appear to me to be making any kind of fuss or even asking for advice on whether to go. All this other “implied” rubbish makes no sense.
She was clearly asking for opinions on today’s often totally child centred obsession.
As others have commented, a child who is totally cosseted and protected against any kind of disruption can grow up thinking they are the centre of the universe …to their detriment.
Or not… who knows.
It seems to me to be inconsiderate to anyone who has to travel and I wouldn’t be going as I’m terrible at early trips. That’s my opinion.
No idea what a 9am “party” for a 3 year old consists of these days. However if there is any sugar involved there won’t be any children napping!

Tell them it's too early for you and you'll go after nap time

Such a fuss about a One Off Event Which You Don't Have To Attend

Honestly, the poor woman just asked for opinions and is pondering on them!!! Where on earth is "such a fuss" coming from?

LilyoftheValley

I find it really irritating that a nap or daytime sleep has become napping! Horses can have a spate of napping not people!! I imagine this came from the USA - like "for free" instead of free.

Really ?

You have the right to decide what’s reasonable for you and you can always ask if it’s okay to pop by later, although your grandchildren might be getting ready for naptime by the time you arrive. Is leaving at 7:45am very early?

Just as you some here have said one day of missing naps won’t kill the children (though it may mess up their sleep for several days after, and do remember we aren’t talking about naps for 1 child, but 5 children), perhaps one morning of leaving your home at 7:45 is manageable?

Or am I misunderstanding the timing described? Forgive me for being a yank if I misunderstood.

PECS

pumpkin I guess if you expect to be entertained.. when I am in my DDs homes I don't expect that..I might load the dishwasher, wipe up , finish the prosecco with DD, have a laugh...
If she was going out, tired etc. we have the kind of relationship where we can speak to each other & just say ...

This is your DD by the sounds of it, not your step child and step grandchildren though. The dynamic will naturally be different there.

My in laws have never made a cup of tea here. They always sit themselves down on the sofa and it’s a very formal affair where they expect to be treated like guests. They wouldn’t even know where the mugs live! My relationship with my DM is very different to that. Although out of politeness she would still always make sure she wasn’t encroaching.

pumpkin I guess if you expect to be entertained.. when I am in my DDs homes I don't expect that..I might load the dishwasher, wipe up , finish the prosecco with DD, have a laugh...
If she was going out, tired etc. we have the kind of relationship where we can speak to each other & just say ...

Surely a 'party' of 8 adults and 3 children poses an risk of exposure to Covid. Have all the guests been advised to take a test before leaving home?
Covid has been/still is such a kill-joy!