9 o’clock birthday invitation!

Don’t think the OP expects to stay longer.

PECS it is mainly the expectation that OP could rock up late and stay late, disrespecting the party time frame because they don’t like it. If you don’t like it fine, but why should the family then have to entertain you longer just because you don’t like it? They’ve obviously chosen the time they have so guests leave at that time. I think it’s rude to presume to be an exception to that.

My DM would always check and say shall I help you clear up or whatever, but she would never expect to stay later without mentioning it. I would do the same to all family and friends, I wouldn’t just assume.

Besides, don't three year olds get up at horrendously early hours? So 9 is well into the day for them too.

Such a fuss about a One Off Event Which You Don't Have To Attend.

Totally ridiculous who has a party at 9 am in the morning

Nah. You obviously never went to champagne breakfasts on May morning in towns where there are thriving student Scottish Country Dance clubs. You start dancing at 0600. Breakfast comes after.

0900 is the middle of the day then ??

PECS

Baggs not the parents per se more their parenting style. OP was wondering about others' views on making a child's needs central to every decision & adjusting life around that. To be fair Karen has responded and said she was reflecting on all comments.

Pumpkin82 you comment made me think about my relationship with my AC. I would be mortified if they thought of me as a 'guest' who had to leave at a set time! I hope I never outstay my welcome but I have often stayed on an had a cup of tea and helped with clearing up!

You're right, pecs, but any query that starts with implied criticism/dislike of the parenting style of other people immediately gives me the jitters. It is not a good place to start.

It seems the child is fine or rather "not a problem". Could it be possible therefore that the parents are fine too? This does not seem to have crossed the OP's mind.

Totally ridiculous who has a party at 9 am in the morning what will you eat cornflake cakes, milkshakes, with museli and custard in your pyjamas
Not much you can do though if you want to stay on board with the parents suck it up and smile
Enjoy your early morning party

Hmm you do sound very critical of the parents who don't sound like they have done anything wrong. 5 quarters of an hour is 1 hour 15minutes - is that what you mean? My DGC are all up at 6am often at weekend as well so at 9am they have been up for 3 hours. When we mind them we have to be there at 7am for parents to leave for work. 3yo does not have a nap but sometimes falls asleep after lunch for 30minutes or worse in the car collecting Mummy.
It sounds like there is maybe a different parenting in Denmark which doesn't revolve round the child?

Baggs not the parents per se more their parenting style. OP was wondering about others' views on making a child's needs central to every decision & adjusting life around that. To be fair Karen has responded and said she was reflecting on all comments.

Pumpkin82 you comment made me think about my relationship with my AC. I would be mortified if they thought of me as a 'guest' who had to leave at a set time! I hope I never outstay my welcome but I have often stayed on an had a cup of tea and helped with clearing up!

Karen, you asked and it’s ‘have taken’ . Your English is excellent.
I have never heard of such an early start for a party, but hope you enjoy it.

I gather it's the parents that irritate you, not the child, karen. Is it possible therefore that you'd be critical of their parenting (having an early b'day party in this instance) whatever they did if it didn't happen to suit you?

Think that this breakfast party sounds a lovely idea. 3-year old is likely to be at their best early in the morning, and can then go on to have the rest of their day as near to normal as possible.

Of course, the birthday day should be round the needs of the birthday child.

Really do not understand what the OP is actually complaining about. If they do not want an hour and a quarter drive to get this - then they can find a B&B overnight. Anyway, surely 7.45 am is not a dreadfully early start on a summer day.

Wish I had thought of this idea when my children were small - getting through the birthday party day until the normal (back then) 3 pm start was always so very difficult.

It would be rude of you to expect to stay later because you arrive later. I think you should expect to leave when the party ends regardless of when you get there.

As HiThere says, it is an invitation, not a summons. You don’t have to go, and it is one day. Our child’s GPs are retired and if we selected 9am as a party time and they couldn’t make it as it was too early I would think they were not very interested in their GC. My in laws are retired, they have no other plans that it would clash with it would just be whether they could be bothered to get up and ready a bit earlier or not.

I think it’s quite mean to criticise parenting and say everything is always all about the child when this is just one isolated example. My first thought was that it isn’t to benefit the child but the parents. They don’t want a rubbish night if their child hasn’t slept well for their nap, and I don’t blame them if they are a bad sleeper.

Is the timing a big problem to your dive? If so stay over in a B&B or arrive late and leave early. Parents choice on time.

I think some parents believe the world must revolve around one child while others take the view that a bit of give and take makes life so much easier all round!

An invitation is notsummons.
You can choose to decline if it's not convenient for you.

As for the timing - it is the parents call.

This is a bday party for a child and what is the point of setting it up at a more convenient time for the adults if the child is going to be cranky and spoil the whole party?
Adults are usually more adaptable than kids

Hi everyone and THANK YOU for your answers, the ones I liked and the ones which made me reflect - or both. I find it very useful to hear different points of view. Would I feel/think different if is was my “own” grandchild? I don’t know because I don’t have any biological grandchildren yet, but I love the step-ones as if there where…I guess. The child here is NOT the problem, the, as we name them here, “curling parents” are, in a way. I find it boring, unnatural and damaging the way EVERYTHING is about the children (and again, the children are NOT the problem here), well, that’s another (but important) discussion. I think that we will arrive as it suits us best, 10 a.m. tastes better, and yes, I wonder too, will we be asked to leave when the child needs to nap…..? :-) Summa summarum I wil take the essence of all your good advices, with so many fine women haven taken (haven taken?) time to answer me,I can’t be anything but grateful and inspired. I’ll let you know how it went. Kærlig hilsen Karen

I find it really irritating that a nap or daytime sleep has become napping! Horses can have a spate of napping not people!! I imagine this came from the USA - like "for free" instead of free.

Hello Karen. I think it’s unusual fir a 3 year old to have a morning nap but that is not the point really.
I would go, be a little late if it’s too early for you. The other guests will have to make the same choice so it’s not just aimed at you.
As for todays children and their every need being central to everything, this seems to be how it works now, wherever you live. When my children were young they were important of course but not to the extent they are now.
Go and enjoy.

A friend of mine holds a breakfast birthday party for her son, whose birthday is on Christmas Eve, and the early timing is greatly appreciated by families with a great deal to do.

I'm afraid I would apologise and say a 4 a.m. start is just too much for you. Wish them a lovely day and that you look forward to seeing them soon.

If you're in a position to go down the day before and stay the night (incurring that expense) then that is always a choice you can make.

I think the parents routines could be a bit precious! Children adapt.

? to you Karen. Your English is really good.

My son used to have a nap in the afternoon still at 3 and I found it just as easy for him to go for his nap at the usual time , while the rest of us carried on with the party - it was just easier as without that nap, he was the kid from hell later on!
There are ways that the GC parents could get round the nap time, by bringing it early by up to an hour, bit by bit on the build up to the party, but as they want to stick to a routine, it's there choice!
9am for a party is a bit early for me - hope they are providing brunch rather than the usual party food, but as it is their child, their home, it's their choice .
Perhaps you could travel the day before and stay in a hotel or bed and breakfast overnight, then why not get together for lunch with the other guests before travelling home ?

When life is centred around a child I think they grow up thinking they are the centre of the universe. I do not agree with seen and not heard but a healthy balance is needed.

Weighing up a child missing a nap for one day against the inconvenience for the people the parents want to attend the birthday I think they have got it wrong.

9 am birthday parties for toddlers are pretty normal in my area. They do all tend to take late morning to early afternoon naps at this age.

We sometimes had breakfast get togethers for the family on our DDs bitrthdays... for grandparents & any child free uncles etc. Then we might take the kids out somewhere or have their friends round for a children's party. Have no idea what time I would have said but know I would have been up by 6 at least!

If a child has a fixed routine I can see some sense in working round it..nobody wants a tried and grumpy child not able to have a nap just because it is a birthday!

I think it is probably sensible, when celebrating a young child's birthday , to make sure it is at a time when they & guests will be able to enjoy it! Whether 9 a.m. is the only time that can happen is another question but that is his parent's choice!