Kissing grandchildren?

www.robinafamilydental.com.au/blog/5-facts-on-how-dirty-our-mouth-is-30214.html#:~:text=It%20is%20estimated%20that%20toilet,germs%20than%20the%20rectal%20area!

People talking about lack of immunity in the baby are being silly. The child is meeting other people and being held by the grandparents, not living in isolation.

I have been able to kiss both of my grandsons (4 & 1). They have probably passed on more viruses to me than the other way round. My 4 year old grandson is now asked before I offer kisses, but he frequently comes to me first.
However for the OP, as you have said - their baby, their boundaries. I hope you get to offer kisses soon.

I never was a GC kisser either. Nowadays, I'm privileged to receive a high five from one whereas the other rushes at me like a bulldozer. Neither cares for me more or less than the other. I love and am fascinated by their differences. Funny (but lovely) old world.........

Oh jeez. I understand that the OP is going to follow the parent's wishes on this, but this whole attitude of "how did my children survive" when grandparents are expected to adhere to new practices is just strange to me.

Were your children in car seats? Would you tell your son/daughter not to put your grandchild into a car seat now because, of course, they survived without one?

Babies born right now are born in a time where there is so much disease in the world, it is no wonder parents are cautious. Babies could catch Covid, RSV, Monkey Pox, Polio and now herpes from cold sores. They could die.

My own child spent 2 nights in the hospital at 2 months old with RSV because a relative who did not care about what viruses she brought with her when she visited. She thought, I just have a cold, no big deal. Until it wasn't.

Kissing a baby is not necessary and, IMO, expecting to kiss one or being upset about not kissing one is selfish. You are thinking only about what you want. You would feel horrible if, in the rare case, you transmitted anything too your grandchild and they ended up in the hospital fighting for their lives.

The world has changed, International holidays and travel are the norm rather than just for the lucky few, but with that comes new viruses daily which babies are too young to be vaccinated against,

My son and dil and also get a no kissing rule (but also it was during the pandemic and I couldn’t travel to visit then anyway), and are also raising their child to ‘respect their autonomy’, which means they aren’t asked to hug people and if they say no I don’t want a hug, that is respected. DS had to do an online course on sexual abuse signs (he was teaching young children for a freelance role and had to do some kind of safeguarding course first) and they spoke about children that aren’t taught this are vulnerable to think adults have a right to touch them, they don’t understand the difference as littlies to good or touching.

I remember being made to hug and receive kisses from friends/relatives and HATING it. I think I probably did this to my sons too, but I think when they were small if your child refused a hug or kiss they were seen as rude.

Things change, not all I agree with. My gc only is allowed to wear organic clothes free of plastics (excepting out wear and foot wear) which makes buying for my gc rather a damp squib as those clothes are all rather dreary or traditional, but it’s also not my problem and I don’t live in the country so ??‍♀️

Well said imaround.

Oh goodness people are getting so daft. My grandson hasn't liked to be kissed since he was very small he was afraid of germs. This doesn't not stop me kissing him on the top of his head. He is 18 now and he survived my onslaughts well.

Exactly. It is well documented medically, that children with severe allergies are those who are over-protected and over clean, over disinfected, etc. Not kissing related- but part of the picture.

We are not talking about all and sundry, not talking about big sloppy kisses- but grand-parents, FGS.

I’ve been doing a little bit of Googling (from reputable sources) if anyone’s interested.

Apparently while babies are milk fed they don’t develop any immune systems of their own but rely on what was provided by the mother in the womb, then a “wash”” of immunity as they come out and then whatever is supplied in breast milk.

Their immune systems don’t start to develop until weaning begins when changes in the gut bacteria trigger it.

Isn’t that interesting. And actually shows why exposing under six month old to viruses can be so dangerous. If the mother can’t pass on immunity to a virus because she hasn’t had it then the baby has no defence at all.

Having read all about that I think no kissing is very sensible given that most viruses are passed on through droplets.

Children who are protected end up with more severe allergies. They need to be subjected to germs and allergens in order to build protections from them.

Babies need to be protected from serious diseases that cold kill them because they can not be vaccinated against them.

There is a huge difference and protecting a baby is the opposite of daft.

*could

Lathyrus: I know this is a deviation off topic, but I just listened to a podcast last night on how our gut health controls our entire health system.

The theory being looked into is that diseases like Parkinsons, Autism and ADHD could have a link to leaky gut syndrome.

The podcast I listened to is "Stuff You Should Know: Your Gut is Also a Brain" if you want to Google it.

Yes, all the research of recent years about gut health could be the next big breakthrough, I think.

If people will pay attention to it?

To tag onto the issues with babies under six months:

I'm a nurse and I've worked in a couple of very remote communities. (I live in Canada and we are talking about communities that are literally fly-in only. They're located in a northern territory.) Nurses up there work expanded scope and can diagnose and treat common medical conditions as a doctor is not available except by phone. (Visiting specialists come periodically for a week at a time but that's it.)

When I took the course to go up there, we were taught that if we saw a baby under 6 months who had a fever, that baby needed to be Medivac'd out to a hospital. Babies under 6 months should not have a fever because they are protected by immunity from the mother.

THAT'S how serious illness can be in these little ones.

When someone is coming from another country, they can also carry germs that aren't native to the area and to which local people have no immunity. This is not to say that people from other countries are The Great Unwashed or anything of that sort. It's just that the normal bacteria and other germs they carry as part of their normal flora can be different - and those germs can be dangerous for a small baby.

I'm with the parents here.

Tim Spector is doing a lot of research into it on the ZOE app. I’ve been talking pre biotics and probiotics but they give me terrible wind.

I wonder how these parents are going to cope in a few weeks time when the baby puts everything it touches straight into it's mouth?

They could put the toilet seat in their mouth and it would still have less bacteria than a human mouth

I doubt that the parents would be worried the baby's toys have herpes on them. Unless of course. The grandparents has put them into thier own mouths.

That is a different concern I suppose, something for Frued.

A great screenshot from the article VS posted a link to.

I went back to NZ from Australia to help my daughter when she had her first baby. I'd had all my Covid shots, Covid test negative, up to date with immunisations (I'm a nurse). Spent four days with them, changing baby, bathing baby. Came time to leave, wasn't allowed to give my grandaughter a kiss goodbye, very upsetting. Don't know when I will get to see her again.

My son is 7 months and we were told about the no kissing rule by health visitors.

Parents are just following what the medically trained are telling us.

OK, I get it, this is all very interesting stuff and of course I am not kissing the baby!! Was just fascinated to read the different opinions here. Thanks all!

Chestnut

I'm not a great fan of kissing, and certainly not babies for the reasons above. I would hate to pass anything onto a young baby. Holding them should be enough and when they're older a nice hug is just lovely.

I think so too, when a baby.
I am a great hugger and kisser of older grandchildren though.

I'm not a 'kisser' but I like hugging - but only if offered.