Kissing grandchildren?

We are a tactile family, lots of hugs and kisses whatever age.

I would not kiss a baby or GC of any age on the lips. Nothing wrong with kissing their heads, cheeks or that beautiful sweet spot of a newborn’s neck ❤️?

If one of our DiLs had requested no kissing we would have abided by her rules.

I’m a bit OCD about cleanliness. I absolutely would insist on a child washing their hands after using the bathroom, and before eating. We also routinely wash our hands when returning home from anywhere else, and we like visitors to do likewise, but don’t insist.

DillytheGardener

Madgran77 my thoughts too. There are generational differences but I think there are also many things that are universal to all mums, such as the panic of being given your first born and being overwhelmed with their vulnerability and reliance on you to make sure you make the right decisions and keep them safe.

Exactly. I have no idea why "huge generational differences" needed commenting on really. There are generational differences in lots of yhings but also many "huge" similarities!

There are generational differences to every facet of life. I don't see a difference, in the OP, to how I raised my children (eldest 60). All in what makes the mum and dad comfortable.

Everyone, just to re-iterate, I was not talking about kisses on the face! Maybe a peck on her gorgeous head of one one of her feet.... literally nothing that was going to be a big deal!
Anyway we've not kissed her at all, but I have had delightful playtime with her, gooing at her and getting lovely smiles in return so all is goo.

Phillipa babies put fret in their mouths, they touch their heads and pit fingers in mouths...

This is why you also wash your hands before holding a baby and don't let them put their hands in your mouth.

You can transfer 2 million germs kissing a little foot

Oh FGS!

Good post GrannyGravy.

My daughter gave birth 14 weeks ago and had a very traumatic birth both her and our beautiful first and only grandchild had to stay in hospital for 5 days and during this time the well meaning but persistent nursing staff have lots of advise on not kissing babies due to the herpes virus and sudden infant death syndrome consequently my daughter who is 37 and a professional has been terrified of something untoward happening to her precious daughter.
At first I thought she was OTT but I now understand this and it is her baby and her rules times have changed significantly since I and lots of you lovely grandparents gave birth.

VioletSky

Phillipa babies put fret in their mouths, they touch their heads and pit fingers in mouths...

This is why you also wash your hands before holding a baby and don't let them put their hands in your mouth.

You can transfer 2 million germs kissing a little foot

Rather over the top

How many germs are on sofas, cushion etc in/on play equipment at baby sensory classes etc?

I'm with you, Fleurpepper. And I wonder what happens with baby number 2? How do these super-anxious parents cope with a toddler or young child in the house alongside the newborn? How do you avoid the baby getting all the germs from the older child(ren)?
Or is this super anxiety only a first time thing?
I really find it OTT, but of course don't say a word and go along with it with a smile!

It does make you wonder how we managed to survive doesn't it and raise our own children to adulthood.

OK let's try this a different way

New parents are now given many guidelines on how to prevent risk of illness or death to babies and children.

New parents holding the most precious bundle they have ever seen will generally adhere to these guidelines.

Do you respect your adult child enough to also follow those guidelines ?

Or do you feel that you know best and can trample over your own child's wishes because you did x and it turned out fine?

No one's suggesting that anyone trample over their AC's wishes. The OP has said on several occasions that she will adhere to the parents wishes about not kissing her GC.

I haven't seen anyone suggest that she go against the parents wishes. Some are simply saying that they find the parents decision OTT, that's all.

There's definitely a first time parent phenomenon. Not all 1st timers suffer from it, but some! My dil confessed to me when 2nd child reached about 3, that she was no longer afraid that children would die! She wasn't joking, and was a particularly anxious mother.

Nobody said to trample the parents choices. Nobody.

Some have allowed they did differently. I'm 77, we did as this couple, can't be too careful.

GP don't "bond" with GC, what's that about? Parents bond. I'd add that I doubt GC know anyone excepting parents until nearing a year and that's as it should be.

Then it doesn't need to be said that new mothers are anxious or I did x and it was fine and all my children survived...

That is just invalidating young mothers for simply trying to do what is best for their children on the advice of people who correlated data and looked for ways to avoid illness and death...

We are supposed to support our children so I will just do as asked and honestly won't think anything of it because my parenting journey has been a very long one and I have watched literally everything change between 1st and last.

Doesn't mean I should feel guilty that I did x and x is now not advised.

Certainly doesn't seem worth complaining that I can't kiss a baby when I can just adjust expectations. I don't want to put that baby at risk of a disease like herpies that I might unknowingly carry either.

Maybe when we are told new guidelines it is best to research them so we can understand why they are in place and just how much following them is actually a demonstration of love.

or 3, or 4, or nursery, or kindergarten, and school? No cats, no dogs ...

the parents are following medical advice, so those who want to belittle them, maybe go tell the HCPs that they are OTT.

The amount of parents, mine included, thought they knew better because they had a child 30+ years ago is mental.

When I had my first 13 years ago, my mom knew better and got me in trouble with the health visitor when it came to making bottles up..the look she gave me when I said 'well my mom told me to do it this way' STILL makes me cringe to this day. I felt I was about 5!

*How do these super-anxious parents cope with a toddler or young child in the house alongside the newborn? How do you avoid the baby getting all the germs from the older child(ren)?
Or is this super anxiety only a first time thing?*

Oh the anxiety is still there, but because you've parented for 2/3 years you explain to a toddler not to kiss the baby because of germs, they usually listen and understand more than grown adults.

Lol!

maybe because they are not prejudiced, the toddlers are willing to accept the reasoning and follow instructions.

Yup poppyblue

Toddlers, despite terrible 2s and 3a are easier to deal with than some adults, sadly

SO much easier. My eldest was in nursery when her sister was born and that's all we had to say and she understood because no, she doesn't want to make her sister poorly.

When our son came along they were both old enough to understand about immune systems and the fact that their brother didn't have one. They would come home from school, change their clothes, have a wash and then interact with their brother.