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Grandparenting

High functioning autism

(36 Posts)
grannysue101 Wed 07-Dec-22 15:21:06

I realise I should have started a new conversation with this question, but I'm here now! My DGD has just been diagnosed with high functioning autism. She is 13, very bright, but finds it almost impossible to make friends. She therefore hates school and is very unhappy. My son and DIL are totally on the case and she is about to start psychotherapy once a week and they are also seeing someone about how to cope with the situation. It has obviously come as a shock although not totally unexpected.
I just wondered if any other Gransnetters have experience in this sort of situation? Is there anything we can do to help without interfering? I adore this girl as she is my first DGD and we are going there for Christmas.
Any pointers gratefully received

henetha Thu 08-Dec-22 10:00:23

My 23 year old grandson is HFA. He's absolutely lovely.
I do hope your granddaughter will get help at school now that she has been diagnosed. As others have said, don't treat her any differently. Lots of teenagers hate school, sadly. It's difficult these days especially because of social media.
My grandson has never had any real friends, he prefers just his family. He is interested in so many things, so I think encouraging those things is the way to go with your granddaughter. Encourage her interests.
Don't think of this as a disability. It's just different, that's all.
Good luck.

Madgran77 Thu 08-Dec-22 16:30:45

"Can you See Me" and "Do you know me" are 2 books written by Libby Scott, supported by Rebecca Wetscott. Libby is a teenager with Autism, only fairly recently identified.

Both books are worth reading both for adults and for teenagers ...whether they are autistic or not. I recommend them for yourself and for your grandaughter to read flowers

Caleo Thu 08-Dec-22 16:50:40

If she can't make friends due to autism she needs social skills training. There are not many jobs available to people who can't get on with other people. Fortunately social skills can be learned, as a form of training.

Aveline Thu 08-Dec-22 16:53:32

It's a lot more complex than that Caleo!

Fleurpepper Thu 08-Dec-22 17:03:52

MawtheMerrier

^My brother was 85 last week. A absent minded, wonderful professor- who did a PhD at Grenoble Uni in 1963-64, when we didn't even know what IT was?^
No diagnosis then- but he clearly was different. He didn't like sport, prefered classical music and wrote and read poetry. Hugely intelligent, as no one else was- and it was what it was

Not sure of the relevance of IT (which was in fact first given its name in 1958) but whether or not your brother was high functioning autistic is very little to do with autism. But perhaps you just meant to emphasis it.
My DH was very much what you describe as are many men and women I know. Preferring music and classical music to sport is hardly a diagnosis!
Whether Rain Man did the understanding of Autism any favours is debatable. It is a film about two conditions — autism and Savant Syndrome. Not all autistic persons are savants, in fact only one in 10 autistic persons have any savant abilities, let alone the prodigious skills of Raymond Babbitt.
From The Guardian
^”Many say that Rain Man is now damaging to autism awareness, and I see their point,” says the autism advocate Chris Bonnello of Autistic Not Weird, who has Asperger’s syndrome. The film, he believes, “should be regarded as a piece of history now”. When I put this question to Bonnello’s Facebook community, views were mixed. Although some enjoyed Rain Man, many found it “dated” and “inaccurate”. One individual on the spectrum called it “the Apu of autism ... despite not being malicious in its portrayal, it’s still a poor representation and a stereotype.”^

Thanks for the Babbitt comment, very interesting, And I can see what he means. However, for me, watching the film made me realise that Rainman had traits which reminded me very much of my brother. In those days, late 30s- there was no diagnosis or label. Yes, IT was first mentionned in 1956- but practicall unknown to the vast majority of the population. His PhD batch was the very first ever. And it is relevant, 100%. People with high functionning autism/Aspergers- have brains which are particularly suited to maths/physics, numbers and complex calculations- so IT in those early days was perfect, including inventing some of the earlier languages, as he did.

Of course Rainman was an extreme version, and as such not plausible and too far stretched. But the features were there and very clear.

Hithere Thu 08-Dec-22 17:04:46

I am afraid so, Aveline.

Aveline Thu 08-Dec-22 17:12:33

What are you afraid of Hithere?

LondonMzFitz Thu 08-Dec-22 17:19:54

There's a lovely TV drama series on Friday evenings at the moment called "Astrid" - French with subtitles (Walter Presents, they do some great stuff) - which has an actress portraying someone with HFA which I found quite illuminating - colloquial speech being taken as literal, finding disorder to be extremely stressful, etc. If you can find it, OP, you might find it of interest.

It's on one of the Channel 4 channels.

Hithere Thu 08-Dec-22 17:32:33

Aveline

That is more complex thanCaleo's post

I agree with you

Aveline Thu 08-Dec-22 17:37:34

👍