Grumpy granddaughter

Did the colour of the icing actually matter?

That was my first thought too Baggs

I’d be more upset that a 5 year old knew the F word and in that context. If they knew that then they should know when it’s right or wrong to use it, even if it’s written. And to your grandmother would definitely not be appropriate 😣

I would be very upset to read swear words from my 5yr old DGC
I'm on your side Streamertail.
Not sure if I would go off the child but I would be cross with the DP!

What would I do ? Absolutely nothing forget about it and carry on, she is a five year old who has picked up some colourful language.
They cannot always rationalise about insignificant things such as the colour of the icing obviously very important to her. You have asked to apologise and see the error of her rude note but life is too short to overthink such an small incident

What was the issue with the icing?

Oh I totally agree Rosie let it go you can’t go off a child because she’s had a bit of a tantrum
The f word is completely everyday language and means no more than bother to the younger generation she could have heard it anywhere certainly doesn’t have to be from the parents
When Prince Louie on camera was trying to put his hands on his mum and thumb his nose at her I don’t expect she was too happy to see that go round the world on camera it’s not the end of the world

How can you go off a loved child over such a simple thing why couldn’t she have the coloured icing she wished for anyway
Let it go … quite clever that she could write her feelings down and not store them up she ll go far

Well, I too would be upset if my 5 year old GC wrote a note attempting to use the ‘F’ word.

At about the same age, I had a disagreement with my own GD. A day or two later, she wrote a sweet note (I still have it!) apologising for being ‘norty’ and ‘I love you Granny’.

With hindsight, of course the colour of the blessed icing didn’t matter, but the language certainly would bother me. It still isn’t ‘everyday’ language as far as I’m concerned.

The language was prompted due to a previous action that aggraviated the child - still missing details of the incident

Yes, it is not a nice word but it is not the end of the word - let it go

Baggs

Did the colour of the icing actually matter?

My thoughts too.

Sky blue pink is my preference but DGD likes green (yuk).

Do her parents swear at her? I'd be more worried about that.

Any child knows that word - why assuming it is the parents' fault?

TV, radio, etc..... it is everywhere

Maybe she thought the action would be less if she wrote it on a piece of paper rather than saying it but unfortunately the impact was worse. She sounds like a 5 year old who is brave don't let it upset you and at least she didn't write it in icing

It’s a very adult thing to do to write your grievances and feelings down

The F word is everywhere TV, Radio, school, in the street, pop songs why on earth imagine the parents are swearing at her …,that’s a huge leap

I think I would struggle to fall out with a 5 year old over the colour of some icing.

At just over two, smallest grandchild walked along the longish (very old house) corridor from sitting room to kitchen to show her mother and me a toy her dad had just helped her build. As she reached the kitchen door she dropped it. As it broke apart her reaction was “oh, for F** sake!” We had great difficulty keeping straight(ish) faces. It was a reaction that many adults would have had if something carefully made fell apart. She's never been heard to say it since, though I'm sure she now hears it quite regularly at school/in the park.

Many must have seen the clip of little Ivy when she sees a goat on her garden

Probably would have been better to let her choose the icing colour.

Also you are the adult in this situation. Its really better to either ignore the note or use it as a teaching moment and talk through her feelings and the appropriate way to express them. Burning the note was an extreme reaction.

Further to "teaching moment" you are now teaching your grabdaughter another bad lesson... by basically saying that you don't want to play with her any more.

She is 5, it's part of your responsibility as a grown adult to help her express her emotions appropriately and teach her how to resolve issues like this

Please rethink, she is not learning good lessons from you on how to behave

Hithere

Any child knows that word - why assuming it is the parents' fault?

TV, radio, etc..... it is everywhere

No, you're right, it is.

Next time let her choose the colour icing, OP!!
🧁

I would question where she had heard the word and how she knew how to use it. I would not let her see I was bothered but I would let her parents know what she had done, she might do it again when someone is not so forgiving.

Apparently when I was about 4 and was watching a show I turned to my Mum and said quite loudly ‘I can’t see a bloody thing’ I do believe that ‘f’ is the equivalent of bloody nowadays

and at least she didn't write it in icing
😂😂😂

Frankly a bit of an overreaction, IMO. She could have heard that anywhere, and may not fully understand that it’s not the Done Thing to say (or write) that about Granny.

At only 4 dd1 (now mid 40s) said - re a young cousin she’d had a mild falling-out with - and in front of the cousin’s extremely Proper mother and grandmother (dh’s side of the family, not mine!) ‘Anyway, John’s a stupid fxxxing boy.’

The atmosphere plummeted instantly to sub-zero! We were living in the Middle East at the time (home on leave) and dd1 went to school on a school bus - along with a lot of older children, including much older boys. She certainly hadn’t heard that word at home - we tried in vain to explain where she must have heard it - evidently to no avail - my name and dh’s were mud in that quarter for ages!

For ourselves, we would just have explained firmly that it was not a word to use, very rude, and privately laughed it off.

I might add that I make fairy cakes now and then with little Gdcs and certainly wouldn’t make an issue of the colour of the icing. If they want garish pink or dinosaur green, so be it.

I agree with Yammy. I would want to know where such a young child had heard the word. I will use the f word myself on occasion but certainly not in front of a child. Nor would I expect a child of that age to watch a programme or listen to music where it’s said. Obv

I'm impressed that a 5 year old is that literate to be honest.

Plus, you don't know where she heard it. My grandson brought that word home from school and asked me what 'F off' meant.