Guilty feelings

I am sorry that I don't have grandchildren and would willingly have looked after them, as my parents looked after my children.
But:
I was a teacher so all the holiday time was free;
I didn't go back to work until they were 4 and 2, one at school part-time and one at nursery part-time after the first few months.
Grandparents now have children from being months old, and for most of the year, which is very hard.
A teacher friend without children ended up looking after her divorced brother's children during her school holidays to protect her elderly parents, until she discovered that both brother and ex-wife were booking all their holiday leave in term time. Some adult children definitely take advantage.

Blondiescot

Norah

We told our daughters we were done raising children, they could raise their own. We don't child mind on a schedule.

If our daughters or granddaughters have a need with child care, we try to be available - but we don't change our plans.

They can easily make their own way - we did. No guilt.

But what if they can't? What if there is no other option?

Blondiescot But what if they can't? What if there is no other option?

Happily we've not had "they can't" - leaving us as the option. I suppose they manage and make their own way - somehow?

No idea, but I don't believe that was the question in the post?

We had our children, brought them up, usually with not much input from our parents - and that is not a complaint. In their turn it is up to our adult children to workout how to balance work and child care.

Having said that I fully understand why many grandparents get involved with helping care for grandchildren, when times are tight, wages are low and child care so expensive. However the grandparents should always be in the driving seat deciding what they can do and what it is reasonable to do. far too many grandparents, especially grandmothers beat themselves up for not being at the beck and call of their children. As much as we love our children we should all be in the position of saying 'so much I will provide and no more.' without recrimination or emotional blackmail to exceed our own personal limits.

Boy oh boy, do I get it. I hate it because , as I’m sure you adore them.

I am blessed with 2 grandsons, 5 and 7. I raised 4 boys, and I adore boys. These guys are only 2 hours away. It’s not bad as far as distance, but I would love to be able to visit for a few hours , then drive home. I also have a new granddaughter 4 hours away, and soon I’ll be blessed with another boy grand baby. !!!! This is just so thrilling, my grandchildren are everything to me. But I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. I’m already so tired and exhausted just from a day and 1/2with my boys. I guilt over my fatigue and I have health crap. Like, I worry ahead of a visit cause I know how tired I’ll be???? That sucks!

Help!

I think, Babczi you have to learn to say "no"...
I'm really sorry I'm too tired.
I can't do x but could do y
I've got other plans, sorry..

Good luck.