Id previously posted about how financially we would mange having our grandchildren now i am feeling quite angry and resentful about the idea and its breaking my heart.
I was married at a young age and had four children in quick succession. But I loved being a mum and as much as it was hard work I loved it. Dad worked hard for us so I pretty much did everything .
All our children are in mid 20's to early 30's. But our 2nd eldest son has been a complete nightmare from his early 20's. He's borrowed so much money of my self and his dad his put us in to debt. Takes no responsibility for any thing. Has a drink problem and the mum of the kids is often stoned. They have 3 children. A 10 year old and a 3 and 4 year old. The younger two have what i can only describe as quite severe learning disability's or perhaps autism. Their lacking social skills and often don't make eye contact. The social services are saying this is my sons and his partners fault as they have not socialized with the children.
A couple of years ago we moved home, almost a hour away. which meant popping in for coffee or visits were often prearranged and while I did have concern's about the younger two my son and the children's mum assured me they had been referred. We also began turning up unannounced to find the house in a shocking condition. We told my son this was unacceptable but was told to to leave.
I also took a different approach by offering support , from looking after the children to cleaning for them. Last xmas the children received no presents except from us , we only found out this when we arrived with our presents. He said he had no money which is a lie. as he still managed to have a drink and she was stoned.
Social services became involved with the family last January and while my son said it was about his daughters attendance i didn't buy any of it. I actually call the social worker who refused to discuss anything, all she could say were things are dire. So a few months ago he calls me in a state to say the social worker had told him they are looking to possibly remove the children, i told him i could only support him if i new the facts. He gave the social worker permission to tell me. I was ashamed and dumbfounded at what she said about my son his partner/ ex.
They have know been split for a few months and his ended up sleeping on my settee. I just look at him and feel so much resentment. I am at a total loss how some one I brought in to this world can be involved with the social services and still take no responsibility .
We are also living in a 2 up 2 down house and need larger accommodation which were struggling to find.
Myself and my husband are currently going through checks to foster carer's and one of us which will be me will leave my job to be a full time carer. I don't want be one and I feel terrible for feeling like this. We had the children for the day and the younger two have in my mind some very serious problems. They look physically ok.
I don't know what i want people to say,, perhaps some words of wisdom to make me give my head a wobble.
