Why are toys still so gendered?

CrochetBliss

I just buy the toys, and don’t even look for girls/boys toys specifically, rather the kids interests.

So do I and so do most people. They have done for ages. But now children’s interests are perceived to be wrong if they don’t conform to the policing rules of the gender neutral brigade.
Which in its way is just as as restricting as saying boys and girls have specific toys.

I just buy the toys, and don’t even look for girls/boys toys specifically, rather the kids interests.

My GGS loves his play kitchen and tea set.. He cooks up many delights for us all, from cupcakes, to pizza, plus copious cups of tea. Nothing wrong with that apart from the fact that it’s seen as unusual.

So girly not good in your eyes. Pleased to say there are still many who like girly, and should not be shamed for being so.

Exactly. Choosing something pink is now seen as unacceptable by some. Forcing your ideas on others by saying that choosing pink is wrong is equally unacceptable.

Saggi’s GD has made a decision about what she prefers to do. Will she inflict her determination not to be ‘girly’ on her own children, (boys or girls) wincing when they want to make their own choices?

IMO it isn’t the choice they make that’s wrong, it’s the lack of opportunity to make that choice and the criticism of the choices they do make.

While girls wearing trousers makes sense - comfortable, easy to run, climb and cycle in - why would anyone, boy or girl, prefer to wear a skirt when wanting to go out and play? I always wanted to wear trousers or shorts whenever possible, and I still wear trousers every day.

To go off topic a bit, I've always thought that women were fooled when long skirts went out. If the alternative had been trousers, I think we would have been much better off. Short skirts got us landed with stockings and then tights, both of which go into ladders and have to be replaced often, and are much colder than socks under trousers in the winter. I know this will not be the opinion of many of you who like to wear skirts, but it's mine and I'm sticking to it!

It makes me smile when I see how things change. I wasn't allowed the toys I wanted, mainly meccano. I also had to wear "cute" dresses etc. My two younger sisters were brought up the same way. When my youngest sister had a daughter she had no intention of bringing her up as a "girlie" girl and dungarees, trousers and unisex toys were the order of the day until one fateful day just before my niece's second birthday when we saw her at a family gathering and she proceeded to tell her aunties that her mummy wouldn't let her have a dolly or a pram and pink ......everything and anything. Obviously for her second birthday she was inundated with dolls and all there accoutrements, clothes, cots, prams and everything else pink. Spoilt by her aunties! It took a decade for the pink mania to abate but she definitely had a mind of her own at a young age. She is now in her twenties and I wonder how she will bring up her own child/ren if she has them.

Saggi

Had this problem at our local supermarket since my 11 year old granddaughter was born and could sit upright in the supermarket trolley…she visibly winced( still does ) at the array f pink rubbish thrown at girls! Always pointed them verbalised the boys section of toys( so much more interesting) ….Lego….building sets….dinosaur figurines…..superhero figures( no female superhero’s though!) all captivated her.
She’s 11 now and still eschews anything pink or ‘girly’ her words not mine! Good! I’m much happier picking her up from MMA club….her football practice or her Parkouring classes! Might by her a pink tutu for birthday just to see her reaction😂

So girly not good in your eyes. Pleased to say there are still many who like girly, and should not be shamed for being so.

dogsmother

I work with preschoolers……..they sort themselves, girls primarily go for dolly’s and boys for cars and dinosaurs. Kitchen and tea-set equipment I’d say 50 - 50.

My GGS loves his play kitchen and tea set.. He cooks up many delights for us all, from cupcakes, to pizza, plus copious cups of tea.

I have a son and daughter under 2 years apart. They played with each other’s toys pretty interchangeably.

However much we as adults feel that every toy should be for everyone small children do seem to go towards the toys designed or offered by manufacturers for each sex. I wonder if your GD will make the dinosaurs into families and play houses with them!!

My DGD, at about 5, hurried past dolls in the toy shop saying 'I don't like those'.

My Dd's dolls had lots of adventures, no houses or families involved.

luluaugust

You are right it is odd it still happens as we went through all this in the 1970s. However much we as adults feel that every toy should be for everyone small children do seem to go towards the toys designed or offered by manufacturers for each sex. I wonder if your GD will make the dinosaurs into families and play houses with them!! When my children were small they played with each others toys a lot.
Just out of interest I wonder how many female Physicits there are in this country, quite a few I would imagine.

Indeed, my little grandsons make all their toys fight! I often suggest the dinosaurs might like a picnic - it worked when the boys were really little but not anymore!

Mollygo Sadly I think too many people see their children as props to their own life rather than individuals in their own right. TBH it wouldn't have bothered me if either of my children had wanted to wear pink and sparkly, they chose what they were going to wear on non school days and even before they started school, my only concern was that it was suitable for the weather. They both looked pretty hideous at times and we have a good giggle looking through old photos! The toys and activities they chose were different but pretty indicative of the mature adults they have become and tbh they are chalk and cheese, once very creative the other is science focused, both have played lots of sports but have different athletic abilities, both are quite competitive though. I never banned any toys but I refused to buy the younger one a Furby for her birthday, It was too expensive so she bribed a friend to lend her one for a week but returned it early as it was a bit boring. Result!

One problem today is that people see children choosing something pink and sparkly, as wrong, whether they’re girls or boys.
IMO it isn’t the choice they make that’s wrong, it’s the lack of opportunity to make that choice and the criticism of the choices they do make.
Increasingly, that lack of choice is driven by parents’ determination to be gender neutral, whatever they feel that means, or their anxiety that their children will choose toys that are wrong in other’s eyes and incur spoken or unspoken criticism.
The fear (especially for boys) used to be that choosing a toy or colour or activity more associated with the opposite sex implied things about their future lives. Do you think that still drives the desire for gender neutrality?

When children are growing up IMO they learn more from their parents and those around them than they do from the toys on offer. If a child grows up with parents who don't fall into gender stereotypes, they probably won't either. However, I think they do have their own preferences which show at an early age, so mine had fairly free rein in what they wanted as toys and what they wanted to wear and it was never anything pink and sparkly

Sorry Caleo I didnt see your post I think we are saying the same thing.

I think the concept of gender neutrality reinforces stereotypes. Toys are just toys. Boys can play with dolls and girls can play with cars. It is a societal issue.

Now you mention it, I don't know what a gender neutral toy might be. It's a useful objection because it makes me think that gender neutrality is not in things, it's in people's attitude.

At least when children go to nursery there are all kinds of toys to play with and all kinds of other children.

When my boys were young we didn't have a lot of money so we loved receiving a big present for all of them from DGP. They were given a fort, fisher price airport and garage. Lots of cars and football strips and goalposts, sacks of wooden bricks and Lego..
I preferred the "boy" colours in the shops.
We had a few dolls but no "girly" toys.
I think parents of girls had a harder time navigating the aisles of pink.

I even witnessed a small boy in a toyshop being pulled away from a dolls pram by an elderly lady DGP with a stern rebuke

I think your first paragraph hits the nail on the head Mollygo.

So really, gender neutral toys are what we’ve always had, apart from paint colours perhaps, but with a label to satisfy those adults who want to proudly announce that they bought gender neutral toys.
Not offering children a choice of toys, or obliging them to play with what adults think is appropriate as gender neutral will almost certainly guarantee that once out from the parental rule, e.g. at nursery or school, the child will choose exactly the opposite, especially if other children are playing with them.

The same pressure to have gender, neutral clothes, always fascinates me. It always seems to mean boys clothes, in designs acceptable to girls, so shorts, trousers, etc. I don’t see boys wearing boy versions of girls’ clothes except in specific cases.

What about what children want? Should boys not be bought toy cars and soldiers and girls dolls and all things associated with them for fear of buying them gendered toys, even if that's what they want?

All this things are now available in and tailored to male and female!
Oh. Well, tbh that doesn't;t surprise me. There is definitely a trend to 'genderise' everything and redefine what being female means.

Smileless2012

I've also been wondering what constitutes a 'gender neutral toy' Mollygo.

Blocks, legos, books, colouring books, paint pots, riding toys, bears.

Especially anything wood or painted primary not sparkly pink.

We've children's tool sets, but not pink - rather red and yellow. All our gear is neutral not pink, our blankets and cushions as well.

All this things are now available in and tailored to male and female!

It really shouldn't cause problems.

Just get what the child wants.

Smileless2012

I've also been wondering what constitutes a 'gender neutral toy' Mollygo.

Lego? Paymobil? Colouring books? Spirograph?

that sort of thing, I think.

Had this problem at our local supermarket since my 11 year old granddaughter was born and could sit upright in the supermarket trolley…she visibly winced( still does ) at the array f pink rubbish thrown at girls! Always pointed them verbalised the boys section of toys( so much more interesting) ….Lego….building sets….dinosaur figurines…..superhero figures( no female superhero’s though!) all captivated her.
She’s 11 now and still eschews anything pink or ‘girly’ her words not mine! Good! I’m much happier picking her up from MMA club….her football practice or her Parkouring classes! Might by her a pink tutu for birthday just to see her reaction😂