Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Why are toys still so gendered?

(105 Posts)
GreyAlchemist Sun 23-Jul-23 10:06:17

I wanted to buy a birthday present for my 4 year old granddaughter. I'm appalled to see that, STILL, places like Amazon talk about boys' and girls' toys. Why shouldn't girls like dinosaurs (that's what I bought her, a set she can build, it even has a battery-operated screwdriver)? Or boys want to be creative, though they're probably put off by the pink and sparkles on many kits. Maybe I'm sensitised to this because I've been reading a new book called Not Just for the Boys: Why we need more women in science (https://global.oup.com/academic/product/not-just-for-the-boys-9780192893406?lang=es&cc=fi#), written by a female physicist. But it makes the point very forcibly that gendering starts incredibly young, through toys children are offered and the way teachers interact in the classroom. Do other folk feel that we should have got past these stereotypes and it's time to offer ALL kids as wide a variety of toys and opportunities as possible?

rafichagran Sun 23-Jul-23 10:13:20

I have to confess I don't care, I buy the toys the child wants. No matter what gender they are put in.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 23-Jul-23 10:14:22

Same here rafichagran.

luluaugust Sun 23-Jul-23 10:15:53

You are right it is odd it still happens as we went through all this in the 1970s. However much we as adults feel that every toy should be for everyone small children do seem to go towards the toys designed or offered by manufacturers for each sex. I wonder if your GD will make the dinosaurs into families and play houses with them!! When my children were small they played with each others toys a lot.
Just out of interest I wonder how many female Physicits there are in this country, quite a few I would imagine.

henetha Sun 23-Jul-23 10:17:37

Well, yes, but it's been tried before and nature simply takes over. Put young boys and girls in a room full of toys and the girls will gravitate to the dolls and dolls houses and clothes and the boys will head for the cars and lego etc.
I absolutely agree that they must have opportunities and choice, as there will always be some who buck the trend. Myself for instance, I loved toy cars when I was young. But generally speaking they will stick to the things that they naturally love.
It's different when they get older, of course. But aren't there already such choices and opportunities available these days?

Chardy Sun 23-Jul-23 10:18:34

Personally I think things have got worse. For example we used Early Learning Centre when my kids (and friends' kids) were little. Lovely shop. By the time I became a granny, it had gendered areas in their shops!
Although I think you'll find Amazon will put a lot of the same toys under the heading "Boys' toys" and "Girls' toys", I agree with what you're saying.

Redhead56 Sun 23-Jul-23 10:18:54

I just buy toys for my GC don’t worry what gender they are labelled they are just toys.

TerriBull Sun 23-Jul-23 10:20:09

Yes same here! My boys wanted dinosaurs, trains, cars, light sabres, super hero costumes and in particular Buzz Lightyear. My granddaughter, did play with the trains and dinosaurs which we kept but still wanted dolls and a load of pink paraphernalia/glittery stuff, my grandson wanted cars, cars, cars and when we didn't have the right wellies for him and asked him to wear a pair his sister had grown out of, he stubbornly refused because they had some pink on them shock .

Galaxy Sun 23-Jul-23 10:21:43

Yes it has got worse, and it's ok saying 'I buy the toy irrespective of the sex it is aimed at' but the message is still there loud and clear.

Esmay Sun 23-Jul-23 10:35:28

Visiting my cousin of the same age I loved to play with his trainset .

Could I have one ?

Girls don't play with those things was the reply .

Later, I overheard my mother telling my grandmother that she thought that I was a lesbian , because I liked wearing trousers and better still jodhpurs plus playing with dogs and riding horses !
I must have been about 13 .
Fortunately by that age I realised that my mother had some extraordinary prejudices and ideas and wasn't upset , but amused .

Aged 15 , I certainly loved dresses and make up .

I tried to avoid the pink for girls and blue for boys when my children were born in the seventies and eighties .

My first granddaughter was born 13 years ago and my daughter took a car load of unworn / unused pink stuff to the local charity shops .
And what did her little girl want ?
Princess dresses and Barbies to my daughter's horror !
She's what my mother would have described as a tomboy .

I buy my grandchildren toys which are neither traditionally boy /girl
biased .

ethelwulf Sun 23-Jul-23 10:35:38

Can't get my proverbials in a twist about this, as things have most definitely moved on since my childhood days, when it was always cowboy outfits for boys, and nurses' uniforms for girls, and let's face it, children still remain gendered whether or not society tries to pretend otherwise. Watching our Grandchildren at play, I'm constantly reminded of that. It's always been part nature, part nurture as far as I'm concerned. Not quiet Venus and Mars perhaps, but still a case of "vive la difference".

Witzend Sun 23-Jul-23 10:36:36

My dd1 was the most un-girly girl imaginable - hated ever having to wear a dress, not remotely interested in dolls, still hardly ever bothers with makeup, etc. (Nothing to do with me, dd2 was/is almost the polar opposite.)

Yet Dd1’s 2 elder dcs are about as stereotypically girl/boy as you can get. It’s nothing she’s done to influence or try to steer them - in their cases it would seem to be innate. From barely 2 Gds was mad for dinosaurs (still is at 7), Gdd at the same age for baby dolls, some time later for Barbies.

In their cases it would seem to be innate.

Interestingly, though, although he’s always been something of human hurricane, Gdd has always been more physically fearless than her brother. At only 5 she would e.g. jump (with dd) 10 feet into pretty cold sea and swim quite a distance to the shore - whereas Gds would say a very firm No Way!

eazybee Sun 23-Jul-23 10:52:13

My children used to play with the same toys but in entirely different ways. Cindy was strung up on the bunk bed by son (rock climbing) and the lego was used to make a bed for the dinosaur and miniature Paddington to share.(daughter.)

Other children exert a huge influence; one boy called my son a 'jessie' for taking Spiderman for a ride in the basket on the front of his tricycle. He was five. Came home, removed the basket and never used it again.

Galaxy Sun 23-Jul-23 10:55:07

Glad you added the rock climbing in brackets eazybeegrin

Mollygo Sun 23-Jul-23 11:18:50

The message also comes over as it’s wrong for children to choose the toys they want because they’re gendered.

It also applies to adults reading matter. Read a thread on favourite books on GN and there’s seldom mention of romantic fiction. Do no GNs read them, or just not admit it?
Go to the library, a bookshop or a charity shop and lots of women (and the occasional man) are all choosing that genre.
In a similar way to eazybee’s comment, it would be difficult for boys to choose barbie pink, because of what their peers (often prompted by adult views) might say, but men, even in M&S are offered pink polo shirts and judging by the fact that there was only one S and one XL left yesterday, they must sell well.

Baggs Sun 23-Jul-23 12:07:28

One can always ignore all the 'gendering' of toys. We did. We ignored it with shoes and clothes too.

Louella12 Sun 23-Jul-23 12:13:06

Ignore it. Get what the child wants.

Pointless to get upset

Louella12 Sun 23-Jul-23 12:17:17

Interesting experiment carried out with monkeys.

Room filled with toys, dolls, prams, soft toys, guns, cars, trucks, football etc etc

Bunch of monkeys enter the room
Male monkeys went for the trucks and footballs, female monkeys played with the dolls.

I don't think they'd been conditioned.

Maybe it's just nature

welbeck Sun 23-Jul-23 12:19:23

most men's clothes and esp underwear in M&S has always been bought by women.

dogsmother Sun 23-Jul-23 12:29:12

I work with preschoolers……..they sort themselves, girls primarily go for dolly’s and boys for cars and dinosaurs. Kitchen and tea-set equipment I’d say 50 - 50.

BlueBelle Sun 23-Jul-23 12:32:56

As long as there is a good variety of toys it doesn’t matter where they are kept the kids will find what they are interested in and yes some girls like cars and dinos and some boys like prams but as long as both there to choose from what matters where they are kept I had a little boy recently in the shop find a really sparkly sequiny toy which he obviously loved no problem The girls don’t often gravitate to the cars and guns but they are there if they want to

I really don’t see a problem just making one for the sake of it
If you put an equal number of ‘girls toys’ and boys toys in a room and let small kids in I bet you the boys would grab the guns and cars and the girls rush to the baby dolls and sparkly unicorns
As long as there are plenty of both and no one is made fun of for choosing the opposite it doesn’t matter a jot

grandtanteJE65 Sun 23-Jul-23 12:33:13

luluaugust

You are right it is odd it still happens as we went through all this in the 1970s. However much we as adults feel that every toy should be for everyone small children do seem to go towards the toys designed or offered by manufacturers for each sex. I wonder if your GD will make the dinosaurs into families and play houses with them!! When my children were small they played with each others toys a lot.
Just out of interest I wonder how many female Physicits there are in this country, quite a few I would imagine.

Actually, the seventies proved beyond any doubt that pre-school children if left to decide for themselves, which they were not in the seventies, would as often as not want to play with dolls in pink dresses if they were girls, and with cars and tractors if they were boys.

I knew a girl who aged 17 used her first earnings to buy a pink frilly dress for herself - she had longed for one in 1975 when she was five, and her mother had insisted on blue denim jeans or skirts!

Today more small boys still play with trains, cars, tractors than with dolls and girls left to decide for themselves do tend to want Barbie dressed in pink or lilac.

Baggs Sun 23-Jul-23 12:42:30

Louella12

Interesting experiment carried out with monkeys.

Room filled with toys, dolls, prams, soft toys, guns, cars, trucks, football etc etc

Bunch of monkeys enter the room
Male monkeys went for the trucks and footballs, female monkeys played with the dolls.

I don't think they'd been conditioned.

Maybe it's just nature

I agree. Nature will out.

But this means, of course, that gendering toys (or anything else) is daft.

Which is the OP's point.

MaizieD Sun 23-Jul-23 12:44:20

I'm a bit horrified by the insistence that this 'gendering' of toys is innate.

Two people have cited 'research' which proves it. Perhaps a link to that research would be forthcoming?

Baggs Sun 23-Jul-23 12:49:02

MaizieD

I'm a bit horrified by the insistence that this 'gendering' of toys is innate.

Two people have cited 'research' which proves it. Perhaps a link to that research would be forthcoming?

Slightly excessive reaction, maiz, though I agree that link(s) would not go amiss.

I'm off to try and find some.....