Is it right/ok?

I'm a bit concerned about the 'adult film' comment but now that a dog's been mentioned - well, dogs do lick their 'parts' often, so I see no difference from the popular 'Kiss my A***' phrase - just meant to be insulting and gross. It would only be adults that attach any sexual meaning to it.

Abused children would be more likely to be very quiet and subdued, having been warned not to mention it.

My poor friend never said a word, until both her parents were dead. She grew up believing it happened in all families - but was never spoken about. 'If you tell, you'll be put in the naughty children's home!' she was told.

The NSPCC would want to refer this to social services.

It sounds to me that he wanted his sister to do something yucky rather than sexual. As for the Adult Film - depending on his actual words he probably just meant a film adults watched rather than children. A lot of children watch Adult Films that would have been classed as A or X in our day. Usually with an adult present though.

Thistlelass

He was daring his elder sister to lick his 'pee pee'. He then went on to dare her to lick their dog's rear end and finally dared her to watch an adult movie as he called it. I should have asked him where he learned about these things but was very overwhelmed. The parents seem to think I am judging them. I am no longer child minding for them as it is bad for my health. I remain very concerned.

I missed that, sorry.

Are they left with a childminder at all?

As an ex primary school teacher responsible for CP , I would be concerned about that.

And welcome to Gransnet, I think this is your first post?

Thistlelass has posted before, Calipso

I'd be concerned but you have told the parents, they are the ones to take it forward if needs be.

If your DGS mentions it again perhaps you could ask him some casual, friendly questions to elicit more.
It may be something another child said in the playground or could be something which needs investigation.

Calipso

Not really enough information to give an objective view is there? Any of us with cats and dogs will be all too familiar with the licking of 'body parts' I would think your average 6 year old would be perfectly capable of wondering about that. Without knowing more context - which you have said you don't want to give- I can't comment further.

And welcome to Gransnet, I think this is your first post?

Generally speaking, humans can't reach their own genitals in order to clean them with their tongue.

Echoing what ImogenMac says. I work with primary aged children and I’d definitely be reporting this to safeguarding. This is not age appropriate.

ImogenMac

This is a serious child protection issue, regardless of the precise context and the
parents’ apparant dismissal of the conversation.
Both children are at risk here and the appropriate authorities should be informed. It might be helpful to go though their school as teachers may have heard an odd word of concern but like you , not wanted to take things further.
You are clearly a loving and concerned grandma, who quite correctly took it to the parents first.
Please be brave and take the next step for both the children’s sake.

Can I ask if you have a background in social work? I am a retired SW (did a couple years childcare but been retired a good while). So easy to say take it forward but this could blow my relationship with my son apart. Of courss I am concerned for my grandkids. DIL is a SW of 2 years standing. Adult care.

This is a serious child protection issue, regardless of the precise context and the
parents’ apparant dismissal of the conversation.
Both children are at risk here and the appropriate authorities should be informed. It might be helpful to go though their school as teachers may have heard an odd word of concern but like you , not wanted to take things further.
You are clearly a loving and concerned grandma, who quite correctly took it to the parents first.
Please be brave and take the next step for both the children’s sake.

This has me feeling the poor child is disturbed albeit he doesn’t know, and help is already needed.
If this was my family I would be very concerned.

Very concerning and upsetting for strangers on the Internet so goodness knows how you're feeling.

Those things are not normal for a 6 year old.

I am very worried about him.

I also find the mention of an adult film disturbing Thistlelass, no wonder you're concerned. I hope you can get more information that will put your mind at rest.

does !

Something does not seem right here, I feel very uncomfortable about this story. So firs Thistlelass or she / he would not have posted her message.

Very, very concerning. Where has he learned this. Why are the parents so ofay about it? Can you ask him further? Is he being abused?

You have told his parents what the child said.

So it is now up to them to try to find out, if he had just heard oral sex, has seen a porn magazine or video or if someone has actually attempted or done what the child said.

I know this is very difficult - children do sometimes put words together and arrive at a sentence that shocks the grown-up who hears it WITHOUT the child having any idea of what the sentence they had overheard somewhere means.

On the other hand we all know sexual abuse of children occurs, so you certainly did the right thing talking to his parents and I do understand your anxiety.

On the harmless spectrum is the young couple I knew when we were all in our twenties, who had twin sons aged 3 and were contacted one day by a very concerned nursery school teacher. She had noticed the two boys sitting on each their own potty, panting with their tongues out, and, as she decently expressed it in obvious embarrassment "playing with themselves",

The children's parents truthfully explained the matter thus: in the boys' bedroom there was a picture of a puppy with his tongue out on the wall at the children's eye-level when they had been placed on their potties and told to stay there until they had" done something". The children were accustomed to panting like " the puppy on the wall" while waiting for their parents to verified that the potties had been used.

I trust there is as innocent an explanation in this case too, but you do need to leave it to the parents to deal with, though you are justified in asking whether they have found out where in the world these distressing sentences had come from.I hope the child was playing with words and landed on an unfortunate combination, but if anyone has been licking him anywhere at all, even if only the dog, a stop must be put to it.

The adult film comment is worrisome
Asking his sister for oral sex too

However, if his parents are not worried, not sure how much more you can do but keeping your eyes and ears open

I agree with Ailidh, it is the fact he mentioned an adult film that is very worrying indeed.

*Peepee

Mentioning the dog's bottom, made the peeped thing sound rather better to me, just a boy suggesting Rude things to his sister, on a par with fart jokes.

The adult movie comment is more worrying. I can't remember when I found out about adult films but I was considerably more than 6.

It does not sound sexual now that you have added the bit about the dogs rear end, if you had said that in the beginning, I think the replies would have been different.

I'd be a bit concerned, to be honest. My GS is almost 6 and I've never heard him mention anything remotely like that. I have to say that if I'd heard him say what your GS has been saying, then yes, it would be concerning me.

to wonder !