Twin grandchildren first birthday - advice please

Aldom

Giving twins joint gifts, cards etc. is the same as giving Christmas Day birthday children one gift for both celebrations.
We have several sets of twins in our family, also Christmas Day birthdays.

Giving twins joint gifts, cards etc. is the same as giving Christmas Day birthday children one gift for both celebrations
That used to happen to one of my DC, not everyone did it but certainly some would.

For the first 2 bdays of my GCs I got furniture for their room. Now they are 4 they know I bought them the wooden desk and toy storage - and remind me quite a lot! Job done x

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Franbern , how lovely to hear about the background to TAMBA and especially your role in helping to establish it. What an accomplishment!
It is terrible that people should not welcome twins: they are such a joy. My daughter was so excited but I must say she did find life difficult especially after the little boy was diagnosed with autism at the age of two and a half. The twins’ club was held in a big hall in an Arts Centre and going there allowed him to run around freely and took the pressure off her.
My observation ,and it is only a generalisation, was that Mums who had older children seemed to cope better with life than those for whom the twins were their firstborn. Also there were several IVF twins there and sometimes their Mums were a little older. They too welcomed the opportunity to sit down for a chat while their twins were happily occupied with the large selection of toys available. So well done you . You obviously filled a gap and I am glad to hear so many clubs are thriving.

Greenfinch sorry to learn that the Twins Club you used to attend has now closed. Must say, many are thriving, more of these than ever before. and TAMBA (The Twins Trust), takes part in so many aspects of rearing of multiples. Research groups etc. and are a very respected Charity organisation

When my twins were born, personal circumstanes not that good - three slighly older siblings , all under school age, hubbie reently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

I was so excited at the thought of two in one go and then came across women, living in lovely houses, no money worries who told me that they had been so distraught at the idea of twins, they had wanted the second one to be born dead!!!

I and two other Mums started off a local twins club, mainly to try to get arrangements for passing on clothes, etc. etc. Just in our London Borough, and in no time at all we were holding our first party with eighty sets of young twins there!!!

Following media coverage on this I was inundated with letters from all over the UK from Doctors, Health Visitors, Social Workers and parents. Eventually, I asked NCT (I was a breast feeding Counsellor with them) if we could use their London Conference Hall for free one Sunday so that we could call a sort of National Convention. They permitted this and some sixty people came along and there was formed The Twins Club Association - which later renamed itself Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA), and recently The Twins Trust.

Another Mum from NCT and I wrote the first leaflet on breat feeding twins. Great days.

Franbern,how interesting to hear that you were one of the founders of TAMBA. I spent many happy Monday mornings with my DD and her twins at a twins club in a nearby town (I was the driver). This was 15 years ago and I enjoyed being an extra pair of arms/hands when needed. Out of interest I have just looked it up only to find it has closed .So sad as it was thriving then. I suppose lifestyles change and it became redundant.

Gillycats

Never anything joint! Including the cake. When I had my twins in 1983 I went to TAMBA (twins and multiple births association) meetings. One day they had 80 year old twin sisters discussing their experiences. Someone asked what the worst thing about being a twin was. They didn’t hesitate to answer - sharing a birthday cake! I always did a cake each for mine after that.

Gillycats Thanks for the mention of TAMBA now called THE TWINS TRUST. I was fortunate enough to be one of the founders of this organisation back in 1978 when my identical girls wwere three years old. I am still an honorary member and receive the magazine. So good to know how many twins and triplet (and more) parents have been aided by this organisation. If anyone has twins due to be born in their families (or born in the last few years), best pressie possible is to join them to The Twins Trust.

On the subject, definitely two presents, two cakes, and - as they get older, maybe even two separate celebrations.

My twins are still very close, definitely each others best friend. Once, when living in different countries they each sent the other exactly the same pendant as a pressie. Another time, again from different countries they both sent the identical birthday card to one of their nieces!!!

Parent of premature twins here.
Never ever one card/present or cake.
Never ever dress them the same.

They’re too young to understand what the heck is going on - the adults will enjoy the get-together and have a few drinks.

• Let the kids run wild.
• Give them balloons
• Each gets a separate card & different gift
• Two separate smaller cakes (have to!!)

Same goes for first Christmas. By god, they’re two separate individuals. Why would anyone clump them together as one?
By age 2.5-3 they start catching on to birthdays.

Adults, enjoy! Cheers!
USA Gundy

My twin Grandsons (also very prem) were 4 yesterday - definitely separate cards, presents, cakes - very different little boys, individuals, never been dressed the same - I echo what others have already said 🙂

Lovely idea Jackacres and good to hear your two are doing well. It’s certainly a rollercoaster with vey prem babies.

My daughter had very prem twins. Now aged 4 yrs and thriving.
We have a granddaughter and grandson.
We have always bought them similar but individual presents at Xmas and birthdays.
So far they've always shared their birthday cake.
Whilst yours are very young and don't understand the concept why not treat them to a nice day out to the zoo as these family days out can be expensive.

Thanks again for all the advice and suggestions for presents. Just to clarify these two are our 5th/6th grandchildren but the first twins, they are not identical and their parents never dress them the same. I DID NOT say I was going to buy them one present/card and of course I know they are two individuals (Rowyn), already showing different personalities and developing at different rates. I’ve already orders two personalised cards. I was just interested to hear what other grandparents do, especially on the first birthday, which confirmed what I was thinking. I don’t think I’ll suggest a cake/cakes until they are older. Thank you 4allweknow for sharing your experiences.

NO NO NO!! Not joint presents OR joint cake. Besides, cake I think should be the mum’s choice so follow her lead. By the individual presents, not the same. This is coming from someone who had to share a birthday with my sister.

Never anything joint! Including the cake. When I had my twins in 1983 I went to TAMBA (twins and multiple births association) meetings. One day they had 80 year old twin sisters discussing their experiences. Someone asked what the worst thing about being a twin was. They didn’t hesitate to answer - sharing a birthday cake! I always did a cake each for mine after that.

I always do a card each and give a sum of money to the parents to choose a present each for them. Not sure about the cake as they live overseas. I think I’ve only ever seen one birthday cake in the photos.
They are only 3 at the moment but I suppose as they start developing individual interests then it becomes easier to choose presents.

Mum of twins here, definitely separate cards and gifts, though for a first birthday I wouldn't spend too much. A shared cake is fine, but as mine got older, they had their own cakes too.

Always separate card, gifts and cakes. My twin grandaughters don’t look alike or have same tastes. They liked different flavour cakes when younger and now one doesn’t even eat cake so this year one had a cake and one had a whole cheese. Both really happy. They are individuals not joined at the hip!

Am late to this thread but can say that twins should always have their own presents and cards.
For one year olds I bought mine clothes and an activity centre each tho they often go for the same toy as twins do like the same things quite often.

Saggi

I’m an aunt to triplets and always sent separate cards and gave individual presents as they are all different . The only time I bought them a present between them was when I knew they’d have to play with it together. ….and that was a football game table …and was expensive ! But I did that only once !

I'm in the same situation and have done much the same every year, including just one big joint present that required more than one person to be enjoyed.

My birthday's in December - so I'd get one birthday/Christmas present from well meaning aunties and grandparents. I absolutely hated it, so please don't do it. Of course, one-year-olds don't understand birthdays, but next year they will!

Yes - always separate presents etc. We have 3 sets of twins in the immediate family. A friend had twins born either side of midnight, and so they had different birthdates! I often wonder, if this had been August 31st, whether they would have to have been a school year apart!

My cousin has two sets of twins and each one of them gets own gifts. Just because they twins doesn’t make them one. Her youngest 26yrs are so close and her oldest 31yrs two can’t be in same room with each other infact they live 200 miles apart because they hate being twins they have always been like that since babies. The other two do everything together.

Appligies for errors, in a hurry. Having eye surgery tomorrow so hopefully better typing soon.

I have identical twin sons and oh goodness, will be 50 next years. From day 1, never dressed them the same as I wanted to encourage their individual characters. People did give identical baby outfits but I never used them both at the same time. When tgey grey older it became easier as they would chose most of their clothing. Socks were an issue but I sewed a different coloured cross into the soles so they knew which belonged to which. Underwear was easy to mark on labels. For toys, definitely preferred different gifts or at least different colours. Found they would swop and play with whatever they were given. Remember when they wanted bikes. DH took one son to choose in the morning and other in the afternoon. Both chose different bikes. One time was definitely stuck. They both wanted Levi 501 jeans when they came on the scene. Had to explain tgat they didnt come in different versions and uf they were happy to go out with friends who wore 501s surely its okay if both had the same style. Accepted that reasoning. Grateful school uniform was obligatory, no decisions to be made. They may be twins but they are separate people so why treat them as one.